(The FanPosts are killing today, so here's another one quite worthy of promotion to the front page.  Great work, Jon!  - Joe)

Tis the time of year to gather round with your family and friends and spend warm, fuzzy moments realizing how much better off you are than most... or score a few extra bottles of Xanex and ponder slitting your wrists. 

As of late, I have seen a deluge of negativism in the M double H community, so I will now seek redemption by doing my part to brighten each and every one of your little lives.

Put on your best pair of Avalanche pajamas, curl up in a blanket near the warmth of the fire in your living room, and let the glow of positive energy flow.

If you don't have a fireplace in your living room, have a couple drinks, pretend you're in Detroit where everything is on fire, and read on.

1.  No Avalanche players have died.

        Though there have been some close calls.

        Joe Sakic is apparently too old to lift weights and hurt his back.  Then, during a little R&R at his Denver chateu, boredom prevailed and Joe couldn't resist sticking his fingers in a snow blower.

        Some jerk from Los Angeles tried to destroy Adam Foote, but Adam only missed a handful of games.  Then, the league and Lappy took retribution on that Zeiler doofus via a fight and a three game suspension, which is exactly half of the number of games Sean Avery received for being an ill-humored douchebag.  A great message for NHL fans young and old, "Hits from behind are part of the game, but pathetic sexual jokes coming from the intern of any fashion magazine are intolerable."

      Darcy Tucker missed some games.  Nobody except Chris Stewart, Philippe Dupuis, and their parents seemed to notice.

      Ben Guite faked an injury at the advice of his agent, just to show the Avalanche how awful they are at faceoffs without him.

2.  The Avalanche have managed to win 16 games.

      That is about 8 more wins than they have earned.

      Even more impressive, in 1,920 minutes of regulation hockey (taking the time to add in OT minutes is beneath me), the Avalanche have tried hard for 37 minutes, give or take 1 minute, 12 seconds.

      I'm sure that is somehow an indirect result of Andrew Raycroft being amazing and Peter Budaj having bad rebound control.  Personally, I cannot explain it, but I'm sure one of Dater's Haters will be more than happy to reply to this blog and explain it in eloquent detail.

      You can't win them all, but the Avalanche can win with regularity, even when they don't deserve to.

3.  Peter Budaj

      After a shaky first three games, Budaj has been stellar despite the walls of Jericho caving in all around him.  Those with IQ's below 40 or with sisters, mothers, aunts, nieces, and/or step daughters sleeping with Budaj will disagree and cite clinically insane examples, but the rest of us who inhabit this little planet called Earth know the obvious truth;  Peter Budaj has been good.  Good enough for the Avs to win half their games having only shown up for a quarter of them.

4.  Mike Haynes is healthy

      Mike had a scary moment at the end of last season with an aneurysm, but all appears to be well now.  His presence in the press box grants us the hope of hearing of him yelling "How do you like them apples?" again at the other team's douchebag players.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18zsScCM1kY

5.  Peter Forsberg might be gettting healthy

       Whether he gets healthy and comes to play is another issue entirely, but until Foppa makes up his mind, which we all know won't be until the last hours of the trade deadline, we all can share in the joy of the beautiful picture of Peter that Adrian Dater uses to accompany his Foppa updates.

via photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net

6.  There are 10 teams worse than the Avalanche.

     Though watching games, it often feels as though this is the worst team ever, there are actually ten NHL teams with a worse record than our unipron-rocking boys in Burgundy and Blue.

7.  The Avalanche are in the top 2/3 of good teams in the NHL.

     This is exactly the same stat as number 6, but I wanted to show off my 5th grade math skills to the entire cyber community.

8.  Tyler Arnason's contract is up in 4 months.

      Well okay, it'll be longer than that if the Avalanche, cough cough, make the playoffs.  I'd take that tradeoff and so will you.

9.  Communism is still alive, but got very badly burned.

     For the first time seemingly since I was a high school sophomore, the Avalanche beat the Red Wings in... drumroll please... a hockey game.  Then the team was able to escape Detroit without any being robbed, stabbed, shot, or set on fire.  Without question, a red letter day in Avalanche history.

10.  New GMC Commercials

      No matter how bleak, dismal, dreary, or other depressing word you find in your thesaurus to describe the Avalanche season, games will never again be accompanied by Joel Queneville pretending to have his own radio show.  GMC is apparently too busy crying to Congress for more cash while Q is rotating two much higher paid goalies in the windy city.  It was time for a line change. 

Does ten points constitute an "Avalanche"? 
Will the Avalanche make the playoffs? 
Will Adrian Dater and Peter Budaj embrace in a warm Christmas hug? 
Will we ever see Joe Sakic again? 
Will this asshole ever stop asking questions?

Stay tuned in 2009.  It's not like you have anything better to do.