Playoff Heart Attacks Are Probably Bad For Me

by Joe Dunman on Apr 21, 2008 11:36 AM MDT in NHL News

Even though I lambasted the Calgary Flames for failing to fail against the San Jose Sharks and get the Western Conference going into the second round of the playoffs, it's actually pretty nice to get a few days off from hockey.

I'm not alone when I say that there were times during the first round series between the Avalanche and the Wild that I was close to full cardiac arrest. Three overtimes in the first three games, and the Avs barely holding close leads in the final two games, had me suffering cold sweats, chest pains and a bizarre numbness in my left big toe which I still haven't figured out.

All the symptoms were accounted for:

Uncomfortable pressure, fullness, squeezing or pain in the center of the chest lasting more than a few minutes.

Pain spreading to the shoulders, neck or arms. The pain may be mild to intense. It may feel like pressure, tightness, burning, or heavy weight. It may be located in the chest, upper abdomen, neck, jaw, or inside the arms or shoulders.

Chest discomfort with lightheadedness, fainting, sweating, nausea or shortness of breath.

Anxiety, nervousness and/or cold, sweaty skin.

Paleness or pallor.

Increased or irregular heart rate.

Feeling of impending doom.

Check, check, check, check, check, check and check. That last one especially. There I was, sitting on the couch in my living room, laptop buzzing and TV blaring, quietly (and sometimes not so quietly..."Blow your f-cking whistle, ref!!") dying a thousand tiny deaths six different times.

Luckily, I survived, and despite my ordeal I don't have any desire to convert this site into a heart attack blog. Though I probably should, considering the Avs could face the Red Wings in the second round.

My doctor tells me that my cholesterol levels are great, but I've always had slightly elevated blood pressure and I think I might have that checked out again before the second round gets started. You can never be too safe.

I don't want to end up like poor Fred Sanford, who suffered countless heart attacks in his later years...

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Artistic Genius

I can't believe someone had the artistic genius, and spare time, to mash Fred Sanford together with Cutting Crew..... Is there anything you cannot find on youtube?

by jd21 on Apr 21, 2008 12:33 PM MDT reply actions

Re: Artistic Genius

I remember a time when the only outlets for human creativity were called "books" and "art." Thank god those days are long gone.

by Joe Dunman on Apr 21, 2008 1:00 PM MDT up reply actions

I heard...

that short bursts of stress, such as that experienced watching a big game, are good for you.

So embrace the feeling of impending doom.

by pingu on Apr 21, 2008 1:40 PM MDT reply actions

Kind of off-topic, NHL game 7's

ESPN has a poll up asking who has the most exciting game 7's among NHL, MLB, and NBA. Obviously the NHL is last nationally according to the poll but the NHL is #1 in Colorado, Michigan, and Pennsylvania.

Minnesota, in case you are wondering, voted MLB higher.

InYoFace Hasek! InYoFace

by InYoFace on Apr 21, 2008 4:38 PM MDT reply actions

Back up Plan for Joe

Joe I've come up with a playoffs-heart attack back up plan so that you can watch the games with a new sense of security.

Yes Joe, it's the Heartstart Home Defibrillator!

by Rookie14 on Apr 21, 2008 7:19 PM MDT reply actions

I need one of those

by Americanario on Apr 21, 2008 7:24 PM MDT up reply actions

That looks like

you need someone to operate it for you while you're having the heart attack. Since it will probably happen in you're mum's basement while blogging you had better hope she's their.

by Savage33 on Apr 24, 2008 4:12 AM MDT up reply actions

The Double

The twofer at the end was the finest of them all.

Side note: If you are going to call out Flame-out fans for being cave men, you might as well make mention of the Habs related anarchy that turned part of downtown into a scene from Cloverfield. It seems pretty early on in the quest to "blow" your proverbial "load" so soon, Montreal. Perhaps Habs fans view this as the "final progression" and, therefore, the last good chance to party. Oui?

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/montreal/st...

by PuckPhace on Apr 22, 2008 10:32 AM MDT reply actions

Re: The Double

Yeah, I saw that. Have they all lost their minds?

I'd expect something like that from Toronto since they haven't won a first round series in the playoffs since I don't know when, but from Montreal? In the first round? Against a team they've beaten so many times before?

French-Canadians must be a very bored people.

by Joe Dunman on Apr 22, 2008 11:20 AM MDT up reply actions

If Avs Win the Cup

I wouldn't doubt the same thing would happen here. See last Stanley Cup coupled with the Super Bowl - minus the burning cars.

Denver can get a bit crazy sometimes.

by texacogirl on Apr 22, 2008 8:56 PM MDT up reply actions

Thats one thing

i'll never understand about North American's, you win a major sporting championship and then proceed to destroy your OWN town, not a rivals but yours. Don't any of you stop to think about the fact you'll end up paying more taxes to get it fixed.

When the West Coast Eagles(First W.A. and interstate AFL team) won their first premiership in 1992, becoming the first non Victorian team to win it(a huge deal, AFL still hates the fact they had to allow interstate teams in and change from the VFL-(Victorian football league) to the AFL(Australian Football league) i'm pretty sure no one destroyed anything in the streets(I was only 6 at the time so i may be wrong, unlikely though that is) I know when they last one it in 2006 nothing got destroyed. I don't recall hearing any team's fans destroy things when they won, although should the unthinkable happen and the Fremantle Dockers(other WA team that joined in 1995) win they're fans may go nuts and blow everything up although i doubt that since they seem to think beating the Eagles in the western derby(we play the dockers twice a year, its one of the biggest games in Australia, very physical. It's pretty much the current blood feud of the AFL) is the high point of ther season. Every time they win they bust out the "We won so we're the better team" crap to which I respond "You can have the derbies cause we have the premiership cups" to which they respond with "Yeah, but we won".

by Savage33 on Apr 24, 2008 4:10 AM MDT up reply actions

Re: That's one thing

Well, in fairness, destructive post-championship riots are pretty rare here. New York City was not destroyed when the Giants won the Super Bowl, and Boston has survived two recent World Series with little damage. I think the worst recent example was in West Virginia when the Mountaineers won something or other in 2005. And even then, that was really just a bunch of frat boys who started a big fire. And honestly, it's West Virginia---not exactly a hotbed of culture and sophistication.

by Joe Dunman on Apr 24, 2008 6:42 AM MDT up reply actions