Playoff Heart Attacks Are Probably Bad For Me

Even though I lambasted the Calgary Flames for failing to fail against the San Jose Sharks and get the Western Conference going into the second round of the playoffs, it's actually pretty nice to get a few days off from hockey.

I'm not alone when I say that there were times during the first round series between the Avalanche and the Wild that I was close to full cardiac arrest.  Three overtimes in the first three games, and the Avs barely holding close leads in the final two games, had me suffering cold sweats, chest pains and a bizarre numbness in my left big toe which I still haven't figured out.

All the symptoms were accounted for:

  1. Uncomfortable pressure, fullness, squeezing or pain in the center of the chest lasting more than a few minutes.
  1. Pain spreading to the shoulders, neck or arms. The pain may be mild to intense. It may feel like pressure, tightness, burning, or heavy weight. It may be located in the chest, upper abdomen, neck, jaw, or inside the arms or shoulders.
  1. Chest discomfort with lightheadedness, fainting, sweating, nausea or shortness of breath.
  1. Anxiety, nervousness and/or cold, sweaty skin.
  1. Paleness or pallor.
  1. Increased or irregular heart rate.
  1. Feeling of impending doom.

Check, check, check, check, check, check and check.  That last one especially.  There I was, sitting on the couch in my living room, laptop buzzing and TV blaring, quietly (and sometimes not so quietly..."Blow your f-cking whistle, ref!!") dying a thousand tiny deaths six different times.

Luckily, I survived, and despite my ordeal I don't have any desire to convert this site into a heart attack blog.  Though I probably should, considering the Avs could face the Red Wings in the second round.

My doctor tells me that my cholesterol levels are great, but I've always had slightly elevated blood pressure and I think I might have that checked out again before the second round gets started.  You can never be too safe.

I don't want to end up like poor Fred Sanford, who suffered countless heart attacks in his later years...

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