Kristen Bell Is Hot, Dead To Me
by Joe Dunman on May 28, 2008 12:35 PM MDT
in NHL News
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Okay, I admit I used to have a slight fixation on a certain short, blonde Hollywood starlet for a while. But then this happened and I moved on. She doesn't call anymore anyway.
When that relationship ended, I had to find another tiny, adorable young vixen to stalk write poetry to and I figured Kristen Bell was as good as any other. Cute, friendly, and all-in-all a wholesome character.
Until I read this:
I grew up in Detroit and have always been a huge Wings fan. They have heart, skill, class and the best color combination known to man. That is why they will win.
Oh, it gets worse, don't worry:
Chris Osgood was my first crush. Brad Pitt be damned, he had nothing on Osgood's rookie skill and sad eyes. There was actually a day in high school when I wrote on a name tag 'Mrs. Osgood' and wore it the whole day. I really thought we were perfect for each other. I'd love to meet him and probably apologize that things never worked out.
Well, I guess Kristen Bell is the kind of girl that finds liars who flop around on the ground for no reason to be extremely attractive. I only tell the truth and have never been knocked down by another man, so I suppose it just wasn't meant to be. And that's fine. I'll just have to find a girl that is more my type.
[Hat tip to With Leather for a great take on this sad revelation.]
UPDATE: Headline slightly modified for extra oomph.
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always thought she was cute
hmmm, maybe I can keep that engagement ring I picked up last night on ice for a couple more days….just in case…
Well
See Kristen Bell’s appeal to me has always been that she struck me as a freaky minx into some crazy stuff. This just confirms it.
"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)
by Jibblescribbits on May 28, 2008 1:29 PM MDT reply actions
I agree with Joe – the cute innocent ones are the closest you’ll meet to certifiably insane without the padded walls. The fact she’s a Wings fan doesn’t help much. Besides, she could have a crush all she wants on Osgood – she won’t get within three feet of him. Every time someone touches him he falls to the floor and doesn’t get up till there’s a whistle. His kids? They’re the mailman’s.
By the by – I appreciate the anti-Wings movement on the site and should you be so interested, please join us at Pensburgh in the Open Thread. I’ll be posting it up around 7 p.m.
Sorry for the shameless self-promotion.
FrankD from Pensburgh.com
Speaking of Osgood
What is his favorite Van Halen album? (hint, the answer is obvious)
by Bob in Boulder on May 28, 2008 3:54 PM MDT up reply actions
Open thread
I’ll be taking the bus Home. I’ll be there Friday
"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)
by Jibblescribbits on May 28, 2008 4:41 PM MDT up reply actions
Diver Down
Horrible album, imo. But you know, if the shoe fits …..
If Ozzy goes down tonight, hopefully it will because someone really knocks the snot out of him. Not another love tap that leaves him sprawling on the ice like the gutless fool that he is.
by Bob in Boulder on May 28, 2008 4:59 PM MDT up reply actions
Watching the hits again they weren’t even love taps by the Pens, they were all because osgood hit the penguin and fell. I love how Babcock whines when Holmstrom gets called goals disallowed for goalie inteference. No other team can get close enough to Ozzie to get the goal disallowed, they always get a penalty first.
haha i knew which album you were referencing – I was just being stupid.
Perhaps we can compile The Osgood Soundtrack?
FrankD from Pensburgh.com
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