From ESPN -- everyonce in a while something good comes out of there -- even a blind squirrel gets a nut every now and then...
My buddies and I are loving this hot, new fad! Mr. Joel Quenneville's moustache. We are very pleased to see the Hawks are cruising through the NHL by using da Quenneville 'stache as a push broom to steamroll over their opponents. Teams better think twice if they plan on defeating da Hawks, because that moustache is intimidating!
Casey[+] Enlarge Jeff Vinnick/Getty ImagesIt's a bird, it's a plane ... No! It's Q-Stache!
Arlington Heights, Ill.
There is no question that the resurgence of the Blackhawks and the revitalization of this storied franchise and its passionate fan base are entirely the result of Joel Quenneville's moustache. It's what I like to call the "Q-Stache." I was able to get an exclusive interview with Quenneville's Q-Stache during the holiday week:
Bucci: First of all, I bow to your majestic presence.
Q-Stache: As you should.
Bucci: What mysterious powers do you and others of your ilk have? Why does your type help Jason Giambi hit home runs and Tom Selleck score with women (despite wearing Hawaiian shirts)?
Q-Stache: First of all, don't compare me to my facial follicle brothers. You'll notice they no longer reside on the lips of Mr. Giambi or Mr. Selleck. They lacked the staying power to make real change. Those stars have faded. Mr. Giambi was a bust in New York. Mr. Selleck peaked with "Three Men and a Baby." He should never have gotten rid of the 'stache.
Bucci: But explain your powers.
Q-Stache: It's simply the ultimate sign of manliness. I mean, look at Mike Ditka. What more does one need to say? Chicago is the city of broad shoulders and hairy backs. Ditka, Ozzie Guillen, Phil Jackson. They are our championship coaches, and they all had hair on their faces. What more needs to be said?
Denis Savard clearly was fired because he has the skin of a "High School Musical 3" extra. Way too soft. Hockey is a game of stink. I mean, what's more disgusting than a 'stache after devouring two crab cakes? That's what I'm getting at here. That's the visual, the vibe. Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews are still poppin' zits in the mirror. They need a man in charge here. Outlaw Josey Wales Conference, baby! Woo! I am Chicago. You take me off Joel Quenneville's face, and you know what you have?
Bucci: What do you have?
Q-Stache: Bob Saget. The "Full House" version of Bob Saget. The Q-Stache rules. The sooner you understand that, the sooner we can move on.
Bucci: Are you Canadian?
Q-Stache: I put the Man in Manitoba, be-ahh ...
Bucci: OK! I get it! You have more testosterone than the Canadian world junior team. I get it. I really do. And I truly bow to your presence.
Q-Stache: You are free to go. The Q-Stache needs to go kill a raccoon. Q-Stache needs to eat, too.
Made me laugh at least...