10 Reasons the Avs Signed David Koci

by wickediz on Dec 26, 2009 4:58 PM MST Comment 33 comments

After his controversial hit on Mike Green, David Koci has reached his lowest point with the Colorado Avalanche, clearly unpopular with the fanbase and having been a healthy scratch three games running. He can barely skate, takes bad penalties, and loses pretty much every fight he starts. Avalanche fans everywhere lament the presence of such a useless player, occupying valuable seconds of ice time that could be used to develop future stars. But there's a very simple explanation for his being on the team that can't be measured by stats alone, or watching him play, or common sense. Management saw some huge intangibles in signing Koci, the following of which are earning him $575,000 on the year.

- Opposing fighters might suffer bruised knuckles from punching him too hard.

- Couldn't afford to bring back Scott Parker, whose hair gel and beard conditioner expenses would've driven the team to bankruptcy.

- Never needing to leave the bench allows him to double as stick boy.

- Absolutely no risk of him choking every 3rd period.

- In desperate search for marketable personalities, management thought they'd found someone with a hit segment on CBC called "Koci's Korner".

- If he ever wins a fight that matters, it might be an inspirational enough miracle to propel the team to the Stanley Cup.

- Made acquisition of Peter Worrell look good in comparison.

- Watching him cower in fear every time somebody mentions Zdeno Chara is hilarious at team parties.

- Fellow Czech enforcer was needed to mentor up-and-coming goon Marek Svatos.

- If all else fails, the Canadiens could probably still be duped into trading a franchise goalie for him.

MileHighHockey.com is a fan community, allowing members to post their own thoughts and opinions on the Colorado Avalanche and hockey in general. These views and thoughts may not be shared by the editors of MileHighHockey.com.

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He is a better mascot then the St Bernard!!

by Adam Manter on Dec 26, 2009 6:29 PM MST reply actions 0 recs

Dude, don’t hate on Bernie.
And has anyone else noticed that his number on his jersey is not a “#1”. It’s a bone. Like a dogg bone. As in, “Bernie puts the one in bone”.

by Paul's Coffey on Dec 27, 2009 11:14 AM MST up reply actions 0 recs

Somebody should be fired

by Paul's Coffey on Dec 27, 2009 11:15 AM MST up reply actions 0 recs

This amused me

Sir, I find you amusing.

by eltharion_doa on Dec 26, 2009 6:35 PM MST reply actions 0 recs

If all else fails, the Canadiens could probably still be duped into trading a franchise goalie for him

If only the Canadiens had a franchise goalie.

The Savage has spoken. Let it be done

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference"
R. Frost

by Savage33 on Dec 26, 2009 6:45 PM MST reply actions 0 recs

Well, Koci likes to read, perhaps he’ll expand the other players vocabulary?

Sandie

"That’s the way we’ll win championships"- The Baron

by sandiegee on Dec 26, 2009 8:46 PM MST reply actions 0 recs

Exactly!

- Abundance of young Avalanche players requires Koci to showcase his real skill, reading them bedtime stories on the road.

See? Intangibles!

by wickediz on Dec 26, 2009 9:44 PM MST up reply actions 0 recs

Koci:
Blocking fists with his face since ’06

is like a 4th coach out there since he’s on ice for like 3:00 a game anyway.

Jesus Saves! Wolski gets the rebound and scores!

by An Unmitigated Disaster on Dec 26, 2009 10:28 PM MST reply actions 0 recs

Clark blocks shots, Koci blocks fists. They’re the key to the Avs’ success so far this season.

Mile High Hockey: Hoping for the best, expecting the worst, hating the Wings.

by Joe Dunman on Dec 31, 2009 10:00 AM MST up reply actions 0 recs

Sandie

"That’s the way we’ll win championships"- The Baron

by sandiegee on Dec 31, 2009 11:39 AM MST up reply actions 0 recs

There’s gotta be someone out there that’s even close to being worth that $575,000. Someone who can put the puck in the net, make a pass, play defense, make a clean hit or hey, even win a fight. Anyone out there who can do any of these things would be an instant improvement over Koci.

We had cap space to keep Lappy, and that man put butts in seats. Even if they didn’t wanna pay Lappy(which is asinine), they could have at least kept McCormick. Two heart and soul kinda guys who would drop the gloves and give it their all, as well as chipping in the occasional big goal, sent packing… and for what?

meh

by Jimmy_the_scumbag on Dec 27, 2009 3:42 AM MST reply actions 0 recs

These ten reasons, obviously.

Forever grateful that Joe Sakic isn't a douche bag like Brett Favre.

by Rather Dashing on Dec 27, 2009 8:55 AM MST up reply actions 0 recs

This week on Koci's Korner

Koci reviews Hamlet. While speaking of the treachery of the characters he puts shots of Avs fans on the screen and speaks of Svatos being his Horatio.

by From the Point on Dec 27, 2009 12:34 PM MST reply actions 0 recs

FWIW, and on-ice stuff aside, I really like Koci and think he’s a good guy. The “incident” was incredibly unfortunate and out of character for him; I truly hope it doesn’t follow him in his career.

Beachie: Headed on a humanitarian quest to Ibiza in order to help twenty-something Spanish men recover from groin injuries.

by BeachNSnowGirl on Dec 27, 2009 1:07 PM MST reply actions 0 recs

This.

He seems like a genuinely nice guy. Most guys who play the enforcer type roles usually are. He seems to have a true love for hockey. I hope that the hit isn’t what he becomes known for.

Sandie

"That’s the way we’ll win championships"- The Baron

by sandiegee on Dec 27, 2009 1:57 PM MST up reply actions 0 recs

That bench door won’t open and close itself.

"I know everyone has their own opinion, but your opinion is wrong. "

by Mike @ MHH on Dec 28, 2009 9:27 AM MST reply actions 0 recs

But thats Budaj’s job.

The Savage has spoken. Let it be done

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference"
R. Frost

by Savage33 on Dec 31, 2009 7:51 PM MST up reply actions 0 recs

The door at the OTHER end of the bench, or don’t they have two bench doors down under?

"I know everyone has their own opinion, but your opinion is wrong. "

by Mike @ MHH on Jan 4, 2010 2:43 PM MST up reply actions 0 recs

Not sure you want to know where they have doors down under.

The 2009-10 Avalanche: Have the wheels fallen off?

I'm The Canary - but I'm not cute nor cuddly, and I don't sing.

by Americanario on Jan 4, 2010 5:25 PM MST up reply actions 0 recs

I bet they open the opposite way…and that’s disgusting when you really think about it.

"I know everyone has their own opinion, but your opinion is wrong. "

by Mike @ MHH on Jan 4, 2010 6:58 PM MST up reply actions 0 recs

We can’t afford two doors, plus who uses doors anyway. They weren’t made for goalies to get through, although everyone else sitting opn the bench seems to think they are.

The Savage has spoken. Let it be done

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference"
R. Frost

by Savage33 on Jan 7, 2010 1:14 AM MST up reply actions 0 recs

My beef is when teammates don’t open the door on a delayed penalty and I have to try and swing my leg over the boards like a spastic flamingo.

"I know everyone has their own opinion, but your opinion is wrong. "

by Mike @ MHH on Jan 7, 2010 8:37 AM MST up reply actions 0 recs

Start diving into them head first and see how they react.

The 2009-10 Avalanche: Have the wheels fallen off?

I'm The Canary - but I'm not cute nor cuddly, and I don't sing.

by Americanario on Jan 7, 2010 1:36 PM MST up reply actions 0 recs

I tell you how’d they react: slowly. It’s the only way they do anything. (Now I’m starting to sound like Savage…)

"I know everyone has their own opinion, but your opinion is wrong. "

by Mike @ MHH on Jan 7, 2010 1:59 PM MST up reply actions 0 recs

It’s always good to sound like Savage, It’s a great way to destroy any sort of team chemistry. My team’s not so much slow(although they have that problem) as morons who are constantly out of position or incapable of holding the puck for more than 2 second.

The Savage has spoken. Let it be done

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference"
R. Frost

by Savage33 on Jan 11, 2010 5:20 PM MST up reply actions 0 recs

Can we get vid proof of this?

"You mess with our Hejduk and the Spirit of Lappy is coming!"-Jibbles
MHH- The Haiku capital of AvsNation.

by gl avfan on Jan 7, 2010 3:01 PM MST up reply actions 0 recs

I’m sure Mrs@MHH would be the one to ask…just have her go to a game with the Camcorder.

The 2009-10 Avalanche: Have the wheels fallen off?

I'm The Canary - but I'm not cute nor cuddly, and I don't sing.

by Americanario on Jan 7, 2010 3:31 PM MST up reply actions 0 recs

Paging Mrs!!

This would make my month!

"You mess with our Hejduk and the Spirit of Lappy is coming!"-Jibbles
MHH- The Haiku capital of AvsNation.

by gl avfan on Jan 7, 2010 4:11 PM MST up reply actions 0 recs

You guys are mean…

"I know everyone has their own opinion, but your opinion is wrong. "

by Mike @ MHH on Jan 8, 2010 8:46 AM MST up reply actions 0 recs

I’m sorry, don’t mean to be mean. We just get bored so easily!

"You mess with our Hejduk and the Spirit of Lappy is coming!"-Jibbles
MHH- The Haiku capital of AvsNation.

by gl avfan on Jan 9, 2010 9:01 AM MST up reply actions 0 recs

Easily and quickly?

Sandie

"That’s the way we’ll win championships"- The Baron

by sandiegee on Jan 9, 2010 1:51 PM MST up reply actions 0 recs

That too. It’s been a quiet winter around here, I’m tired of getting paid to hang out with you guys and read my book.

"You mess with our Hejduk and the Spirit of Lappy is coming!"-Jibbles
MHH- The Haiku capital of AvsNation.

by gl avfan on Jan 9, 2010 1:54 PM MST up reply actions 0 recs

I’ve had to do that a few times, never fun. Especially when you’re not a giant, although I don’t have to worry about delayed penalties, my team can’t even draw penalties.

The Savage has spoken. Let it be done

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference"
R. Frost

by Savage33 on Jan 11, 2010 5:18 PM MST up reply actions 0 recs