10 Reasons the Avs Signed David Koci
by wickediz on Dec 26, 2009 4:58 PM MST
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PrintAfter his controversial hit on Mike Green, David Koci has reached his lowest point with the Colorado Avalanche, clearly unpopular with the fanbase and having been a healthy scratch three games running. He can barely skate, takes bad penalties, and loses pretty much every fight he starts. Avalanche fans everywhere lament the presence of such a useless player, occupying valuable seconds of ice time that could be used to develop future stars. But there's a very simple explanation for his being on the team that can't be measured by stats alone, or watching him play, or common sense. Management saw some huge intangibles in signing Koci, the following of which are earning him $575,000 on the year.
- Opposing fighters might suffer bruised knuckles from punching him too hard.
- Couldn't afford to bring back Scott Parker, whose hair gel and beard conditioner expenses would've driven the team to bankruptcy.
- Never needing to leave the bench allows him to double as stick boy.
- Absolutely no risk of him choking every 3rd period.
- In desperate search for marketable personalities, management thought they'd found someone with a hit segment on CBC called "Koci's Korner".
- If he ever wins a fight that matters, it might be an inspirational enough miracle to propel the team to the Stanley Cup.
- Made acquisition of Peter Worrell look good in comparison.
- Watching him cower in fear every time somebody mentions Zdeno Chara is hilarious at team parties.
- Fellow Czech enforcer was needed to mentor up-and-coming goon Marek Svatos.
- If all else fails, the Canadiens could probably still be duped into trading a franchise goalie for him.
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Dude, don’t hate on Bernie.
And has anyone else noticed that his number on his jersey is not a “#1”. It’s a bone. Like a dogg bone. As in, “Bernie puts the one in bone”.
by Brett Shumway on Dec 27, 2009 11:14 AM MST up reply actions
If all else fails, the Canadiens could probably still be duped into trading a franchise goalie for him
If only the Canadiens had a franchise goalie.
The Savage has spoken. Let it be done
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference"
R. Frost
Well, Koci likes to read, perhaps he’ll expand the other players vocabulary?
Sandie
"That’s the way we’ll win championships"- The Baron
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 26, 2009 8:46 PM MST reply actions
Koci:
Blocking fists with his face since ’06
is like a 4th coach out there since he’s on ice for like 3:00 a game anyway.
Jesus Saves! Wolski gets the rebound and scores!
by An Unmitigated Disaster on Dec 26, 2009 10:28 PM MST reply actions
Clark blocks shots, Koci blocks fists. They’re the key to the Avs’ success so far this season.
Mile High Hockey: Hoping for the best, expecting the worst, hating the Wings.
+1
Sandie
"That’s the way we’ll win championships"- The Baron
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 31, 2009 11:39 AM MST up reply actions
There’s gotta be someone out there that’s even close to being worth that $575,000. Someone who can put the puck in the net, make a pass, play defense, make a clean hit or hey, even win a fight. Anyone out there who can do any of these things would be an instant improvement over Koci.
We had cap space to keep Lappy, and that man put butts in seats. Even if they didn’t wanna pay Lappy(which is asinine), they could have at least kept McCormick. Two heart and soul kinda guys who would drop the gloves and give it their all, as well as chipping in the occasional big goal, sent packing… and for what?
meh
by Jimmy_the_scumbag on Dec 27, 2009 3:42 AM MST reply actions
These ten reasons, obviously.
Forever grateful that Joe Sakic isn't a douche bag like Brett Favre.
by Rather Dashing on Dec 27, 2009 8:55 AM MST up reply actions
This week on Koci's Korner
Koci reviews Hamlet. While speaking of the treachery of the characters he puts shots of Avs fans on the screen and speaks of Svatos being his Horatio.
by From the Point on Dec 27, 2009 12:34 PM MST reply actions
FWIW, and on-ice stuff aside, I really like Koci and think he’s a good guy. The “incident” was incredibly unfortunate and out of character for him; I truly hope it doesn’t follow him in his career.
Beachie: Headed on a humanitarian quest to Ibiza in order to help twenty-something Spanish men recover from groin injuries.
by BeachNSnowGirl on Dec 27, 2009 1:07 PM MST reply actions
This.
He seems like a genuinely nice guy. Most guys who play the enforcer type roles usually are. He seems to have a true love for hockey. I hope that the hit isn’t what he becomes known for.
Sandie
"That’s the way we’ll win championships"- The Baron
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 27, 2009 1:57 PM MST up reply actions
That bench door won’t open and close itself.
"I know everyone has their own opinion, but your opinion is wrong. "
But thats Budaj’s job.
The Savage has spoken. Let it be done
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference"
R. Frost
The door at the OTHER end of the bench, or don’t they have two bench doors down under?
"I know everyone has their own opinion, but your opinion is wrong. "
Not sure you want to know where they have doors down under.
The 2009-10 Avalanche: Have the wheels fallen off?
I'm The Canary - but I'm not cute nor cuddly, and I don't sing.
We can’t afford two doors, plus who uses doors anyway. They weren’t made for goalies to get through, although everyone else sitting opn the bench seems to think they are.
The Savage has spoken. Let it be done
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference"
R. Frost
My beef is when teammates don’t open the door on a delayed penalty and I have to try and swing my leg over the boards like a spastic flamingo.
"I know everyone has their own opinion, but your opinion is wrong. "
Start diving into them head first and see how they react.
The 2009-10 Avalanche: Have the wheels fallen off?
I'm The Canary - but I'm not cute nor cuddly, and I don't sing.
I tell you how’d they react: slowly. It’s the only way they do anything. (Now I’m starting to sound like Savage…)
"I know everyone has their own opinion, but your opinion is wrong. "
It’s always good to sound like Savage, It’s a great way to destroy any sort of team chemistry. My team’s not so much slow(although they have that problem) as morons who are constantly out of position or incapable of holding the puck for more than 2 second.
The Savage has spoken. Let it be done
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference"
R. Frost
Can we get vid proof of this?
"You mess with our Hejduk and the Spirit of Lappy is coming!"-Jibbles
MHH- The Haiku capital of AvsNation.
I’m sure Mrs@MHH would be the one to ask…just have her go to a game with the Camcorder.
The 2009-10 Avalanche: Have the wheels fallen off?
I'm The Canary - but I'm not cute nor cuddly, and I don't sing.
Paging Mrs!!
This would make my month!
"You mess with our Hejduk and the Spirit of Lappy is coming!"-Jibbles
MHH- The Haiku capital of AvsNation.
I’m sorry, don’t mean to be mean. We just get bored so easily!
"You mess with our Hejduk and the Spirit of Lappy is coming!"-Jibbles
MHH- The Haiku capital of AvsNation.
Easily and quickly?
Sandie
"That’s the way we’ll win championships"- The Baron
by Sandie Gauthier on Jan 9, 2010 1:51 PM MST up reply actions
I’ve had to do that a few times, never fun. Especially when you’re not a giant, although I don’t have to worry about delayed penalties, my team can’t even draw penalties.
The Savage has spoken. Let it be done
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference"
R. Frost
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