Avaholics Anonymous: The 11 step program to recovery
by thedoctor on Mar 2, 2009 11:54 AM MST
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PrintWell folks, the trade deadline is upon us. The Avs are in a tailspin the likes of which the team has never experienced since moving to Colorado. The front office is in denial. The coaching staff looks lifeless. Our goalies look worse with each passing game. All is hopeless, right?
No! Avaholics Anonymous is here with a 12 11 step program for the Avs to break their addiction to sucking, and get this team back on track. Without further ado, the 11 step program for success!
- Fire the entire coaching staff. Maybe you keep Hackett around, but this is the biggest step for our addicted-to-sucking front office-- admitting there's a problem. Get Dineen or Burns, or something better out of house. Just no more in house.
- At the deadline, trade Leopold, Svatos, and if you can, Clark. Leopold and Svatos are decent players, but one-dimensional ones on a team that absolutely must say goodbye to its destructive habits. Clark, well, he's overpaid and overused. Try to get a goalie or almost-ready nhl-prospects in return, otherwise draft picks.
- Let Arnason and Raycroft go. Wave goodbye to Joe. Buy out Tucker since no one will take him in trade or waivers (results in .75m cap hit next 2 seasons, not bad).
- Draft the best player available wherever we end up in the draft -- since we appear headed for #3 or 4, this will probably be Duchene or MSP, both probably LWs.
- Re-sign Guite, Lappy, Tjarnqvist (as a 7th) and the RFAs (McLeod, McCormick, Jones, Cumiskey, and Budaj).
- If we failed to get a real goalie at the deadline, get one now. Options include Backstrom, Garon, or Biron in UFA, Lehtonen or Leclaire in trade, or even Harding in RFA if Backstrom is re-signed by Minny. If none of those are available at reasonable rates, think about stopgaps like Fernandez and Khabibulin.
- Sign a real 3rd line center. Pahlsson or Malhotra are good options. If Clark was traded, sign a serviceable vet to take his place for less than he was making. Sign a couple other depth guys too, like Willsie this year.
- Promote Cumiskey to 6th D and give him a whole year to grow.
- Put Hensick as a 2nd line winger, and give him a whole year to prove he belongs.
- ???
- profit (if you don't get this, watch more freaking South Park, you loser)
See, that's all it would take! None of these options are remotely far-fetched or difficult. Believe it guys and gals, we can beat the addiction to sucking! And fire away in the comments -- I want to hear your plans, critiques, comments too. Just keep it realistic if possible, no one wants plans to trade for Crosby here. :)
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Step 12
find humor in your life.
Laughter can help (at least a little) especially at the trade deadline when everyone else is so serious.
So take a gander at some of these trades and get a good laugh:
Mendes: trading Jokes
My personal favorites are:
The Trade: Columbus sends Rick Nash and a 1st-round pick to Pittsburgh for Evgeni Malkin.
The Punchline: Pittsburgh’s top line with Crosby, Staal and Nash would be great for fans of classic rock. And it would be the best musical combo in the NHL since Hull & Oates were ripping it up for the Blues.
The Trade: Buffalo sends Derek Roy to Montreal for a 1st-round pick.
The Punchline: How awesome would it be to see the confusion in the faces of Habs fans when they learn how to pronounce Roy’s last name?
MHH: Like the Avs organization, we’ve now officially lost our minds.
I'm The Canary - but I'm not cute nor cuddly, and I don't sing.
yeah, i was trying to be a little humorous about the Avs with this post. and yet serious.
my real question is how many of these moves they actually pull off. they COULD do all of this easily, but will they?
Are you really sure any of those steps would be easy for the Avs, except #10 (???) and maybe partly #2, which involves trading Leopold and Svatos? (By the way, nobody wants Clark). Most of those 11 steps actually seem far-fetched for the current Avs right now. Maybe I’m missing the humor. I like Canary’s #12 though!
it’s just the unlikelihood of those moves happening (with current avs management) that makes them sound a bit far-fetched to me. we might actually be saying the same thing, but i think you’re focusing on actual steps to be carried out and i’m focusing on the likelihood of those steps being carried out. i hope this makes sense.
it just seems like all those seemingly simple moves would require gigantic adjustments in attitude by the avs management and i just don’t see that happening. they would have to admit to some major miscalculatons and mistakes on both the players they’ve signed and the state of the nhl as well, and it’s really rare for business execs in high positions of power to admit to mistakes. sometimes things are easier said than done.
i know what you’re saying. a couple of them would admit some poor choices made previously. I don’t see how they can avoid doing that though, at some level. Do you really think they’ll stay with Budaj? that they can justify Granato’s losing of the team? I tried to include only things i saw as even odds or better of occuring, even if only most of the way. I’ll give my odds on each thing happening:
1. 50. just a couple weeks ago I would have said 10, but it would be pretty hard to blame this on injuries after the last stretch. it’s made it obvious that the team has quit on the coach. they’re hard headed here, but just how much? we don’t know.
2. 75. SOMEONE’s getting moved.
3. 50. no brainer on the first part. the only tough part would be admitting Tucker was a bad choice.
4. 100. how can you screw this up?
5. 75. only iffy thing here is Lappy and Guite.
6. 100. i don’t see any way they can’t go get a better goalie.
7. 50. this team doesn’t seem to have any urgency around this position.
8. 100. this will happen.
9. 50. they like Hensick and will give him playing time, but still seem fixated on him as a center. even odds they get wise here, at least to start.
Clark
I know everyone around here hates him, and I have realized he just sucks this year, but that is exactly why he ain’t going anywhere, same as arny and tucker. I fhe had been showing any skill for his money, he might be gone- but then we’d want to keep him. Its the trade paradox- everyone wants to see the deadweight gone, but no other gm in his right mind wants to pick it up.
Other than that those are some great steps. I bet we see maybe 2 of them. Maybe only parts of two of them.
Get rid of the loser point
08-09 Avs- can we decline the penalty?
agree
I was hoping FG could swindle someone into taking Tucker, but probably not. Clark’s $3.5M is keeping him here.
Arnason, luckily, is in the last year of his contract. I’d love it if the Avs could turn that into a draft pick, but if not, aw well.
by Jibblescribbits on Mar 2, 2009 2:11 PM MST up reply actions
well, like i said, trade Clark if you can. I actually happen to still like him, but there’s no doubt he’s overpaid. And he’s had a very bad year offensively.
Arny will be gone. If he’s not, I’ve stated that I will not watch another game he’s in an Avs uni, period. Tucker, the GM that took him would have to be certifiable, just like Arny. I don’t see it, only way out of that mess is a buyout.
I forgot a possible point, though it's not really critical
Call up Weiman and give him a real shot. The guy was an AHL all-star, can’t he at least be a backup? Could he be more? We’ll never know unless we try him!
Well
Only if we can trade away Raycroft or Budaj, since we decided Weiman would hit waivers if we sent him back down.
Not that I disagree with that. I doubt the Avs are going to brin Raycroft back next season so send him down, and if he clears waivers fine, if not fine. (I’d say the same with Boods, but as an RFA he has a little more value.)
by Jibblescribbits on Mar 2, 2009 3:32 PM MST up reply actions
it’s not actually that easy. Stastny is basically taking up the entire cap savings we get from Sakic retiring. In fact, things are fairly tight with Lappy and McLeod due for raises and a goalie + 3rd line center to sign.
But
There’s a ton of money that the Avs had set aside for Forsberg that they can use.
With Stastny they’re signed on for $43M next season. Budaj will be a cheap backup (no way he’s getting much of a raise after this season) and the Avs will probably be able to move one of their expensive D-men in the summer. I think they will have enough money for a top tier free-agent and a second tier one as well.
Especially if they can buyout Tucker
by Jibblescribbits on Mar 3, 2009 12:09 AM MST up reply actions
so let’s make some assumptions. not saying this WILL happen, but just a stab at reality based on the cluelessness of the front office.
Lappy and Leopold traded. Arny let go. Sakic retired. Guite re-signed. Current players kept for the most part. Random cheap role players signed in depth roles. Budaj and Weiman our goaltending for next year.
results in this. yes, that’s right, a 50m hit for the absolute bare minimum if we can’t dump some salary or buyout some people, and do you really think after losing millions this year they’ll go higher?
it’s a grim future we’re looking at right there.
Yeah
Yeah, but it’s not so much the players I’m worried about… it’s the coaching.
And I don’t think we can make the assumption that FG isn’t going to try everything he can to shed some of those contracts and upgrade. His job is clearly on the line next year and there’s no way he’s going to be able to save it with that line-up.
Obviously I could be wrong, but I think the Avs will be able to unload one contract, and can buyout another. And if there’s anything this season should have proven to the Avs front office, the only way to make a profitable team is to have a winning team.
by Jibblescribbits on Mar 3, 2009 10:03 AM MST up reply actions
This makes me wonder
Whats the 2010 draft look like? We may be getting a high pick there as well.
Get rid of the loser point
08-09 Avs- can we decline the penalty?
Positively!
MHH: Shagging Dater one contributor at a time.
by Bob in Boulder on Mar 3, 2009 7:07 PM MST up reply actions
Seems simple if you watch this team every game...
tick tock tick tock tick tock…
After the new team takes the ice on Wednesday night, let’s hope sometime under the Granato tenure, they initiate a system for the team. I love to watch hockey, not a bunch of guys skating around wondering the the other is doing. ATTENTION GM: Keep a talented nucleus! Get a goalie! Get another scorer! Get a another first round draft pick! Get some prospects! Get a clue!
ToledoAvsFan
Hate to be the pessimist here, but again I don’t think the “new team” will look much different from the current team. The real changes will come after the season, if any.
MHH: Like the Avs organization, we’ve now officially lost our minds.
I'm The Canary - but I'm not cute nor cuddly, and I don't sing.
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