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Kroenke Sports needs to overhaul the entire Avalanche Experience.

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Understandably there's been plenty of debate on what the Avalanche organization does in terms of personnel and their approach to winning hockey games.  However, there's plenty of improvement for the ownership, Kroenke Sports Enterprises (KSE) to improve the Avalanche product beyond the play on the ice.  This is one fans opinion on what needs improvement and ideas on how to improve them.

 

 

Financial commitment:

There's been plenty of scuttlebutt in town about how KSE has diverted their financial attentions from the Avalanche and used those finances towards the Nuggets (one of KSE's other assets).  I don't believe KSE has lowered any of its financial commitment towards the Avalanche.  They've gone from committing 60 million a year in salaries in a non-capped collective bargaining agreement (CBA) to a salary cap since 2004.  Last season the Avalanche entered the year with approximately over 4 million in salary cap space left.  However, fans also must remember that Joe Sakic did not commit to a new contract until nearly the end of August which was of course well past the July 1st UFA frenzy.  There was also the consideration of reserving some cap space for our favorite spleenless Swede.  However, he teased the Avalanche with his decision until January 30th when he concluded the Avs sucked his foot just wasn't ready.  The other thing a lot of casual Avalanche observers forget is that KSE committed money to run a yearly summer development camp in Denver for their prospects.  They've also been keeping United Airlines in business with their affiliation to the new AHL team in Lake Erie.  They committed to significant contracts for Foote, Liles, Stastny and even flushed $600,000 down the drain on Per Ledin (the average AHL salary is closer to $60,000 to $80,000).  There has been some concern when KSE laid off an approximate two dozen employees and then released this statement;

 

"We recently have been forced to make difficult financial decisions during these trying economic times to decrease costs. Because of the numerous economic challenges faced at KSE and all businesses locally, nationally and globally, we are saddened to announce that we have made staff reductions."

 

Then again, Kroenke just dropped 60 more million to increase his stake in the Arsenal soccer team (Sorry, football club).  I think as Avalanche fans you have to appreciate the fact you cannot pick your owners (reference Colorado Rockies).  We are fortunate to have an owner that will support his team and spend money to make the product better.  I can't make any suggestions here, except that KSE should continue to recognize that despite the gate numbers this year, there is a large and dedicated fan base for this Avalanche team.  If you build a good product we will reward you with our loyalty and consequently our wallets.  Of course there are suckers like us die hard fans who will continue to do so regardless of the product.

 

 

Altitude Sports and Entertainment

As most know, Altitude is owned by KSE.  They have their own TV network and of course they run their broadcast on several radio affiliates like Mile High Sports radio locally in Denver.  So the good news first, Altitude ratings are very good for the Avalanche despite the gate numbers at the Pepsi Center.  The actual television broadcasts and radio telecasts have improved in their professionalism and "production values".  When the network first launched it was certainly armature hour in regards to the studios, graphics etc...  Altitude has made good strides in becoming a professional broadcaster, rather than a typical local sports network that flirt with production values on par with a PBS broadcast.

 

Now, the bad news.. Altitude has a serious problem that is inherent to the broadcaster owning the teams in which they cover.  The broadcasters are unabashed homers of the worst kind.  It's OK to have a bias for the team you cover, but it's another thing to so obviously pander to the positive outlook that it borders on the surreal.  When your broadcasters can't muster a single critical thing to say, we start to distrust everything they say.  Does Paul Stastny really have great vision on the ice?  I want to think that's true but you just told me earlier that Raycroft is having a solid year.  The sad part is, we know from the days on Fox Sports that these same broadcasters have the ability to offer good constructive critiques of the Avalanche.  However, since the move to Altitude it's sunshine ALL THE TIME.  I got news for the brass at Altitude, fans in this town are not idiots.  If you don't begin to gain traction with some credibility here, you will be past the point of no return.  You'll become an on going parody and consequently less than what you could be.  You can be something more than that, you can actually contribute to the product instead of becoming background noise.

 

Peter McNab and Mike Haynes are great at what they do.  However, they need to know they can offer a criticism of the play on the ice.  I know they can do it because they both did so before they worked for Altitude.  Let them call a spade a spade.  Anything less is insulting our intelligence as fans.

 

Norm Jones and Marc Moser aren't as good without Mike Haynes doing the radio.  Unlike others I like Moser but have never been real high on Jones.  With that being said, that's simply personal preference.  The fact is, while radio is a little better than the TV broadcast in so far as any criticisms of the team they still toe the company line.  How is anyone listening on the radio supposed to get a feel for the game when it's all sunshine and rainbows on the broadcast?  You would think that Avalanche found themselves as the 3rd worst team in the NHL by pure happenstance and bad luck.  Respect your fans by trusting them with a straight call, that's all I'm asking.

 

Because I'm a giver, here are my suggestions in no particular order: 

  1. Broadcast both home and away games in HD.  I'm sure there are technical challenges I don't fully appreciate but it sure feels like it's time to go HD across the board.  KSE needs to market the Avalanche and High Definition sells hockey, period.
  2. Broadcast all the preseason games.  The Avalanche are picking 3rd in the draft and you know you're going to market the hell out of this kid.  We really, really want to see these preseason games.  I know that Altitude gets crazy ratings for Kiana's Flex Appeal but I'm guessing Avalanche preseason broadcasts are going to do a bit better.
  3. Post your Avalanche material that can't be found on Center Ice to a video sharing site like Youtube, Hulu etc...  Avalanche fans across the world want to see Lappy play Pictionary on Avalanche All Access, trust me on this.  Postgame, pregame and specials should all be somewhere.  You market your product and if you do it right you gain some revenue as well.
  4. Altitude needs their Don Cherry / Charle Barkley between periods.  It offers Altitude an avenue to make their between period material WAY more interesting.  It's classic good cop / bad cop and it simply works.  Develop a "coaches corner" of your own and get someone who will break down film and be critical of the team if it's called for.
  5. Do not, under any circumstance run a correspondent piece at a local bar ever again.  The forced cheering and delayed reaction to the camera are pure torture.
  6. Avalanche All Access nights where McNabb stands between the benches is great stuff, don’t' stop what works.
  7. Consider broadcasting some Lake Erie Monster games, that's a pretty easy sell and markets your prospects.
  8. For radio, I hate to say it but you need better talent at the play by play.  Norm is a really great guy but he's a color guy pure and simple.  Might I suggest you get someone with a little spice to their delivery? I understand not everyone can be Randy Moller but man if he was, I'd listen to that every game.
  9. The move from The Fan 104.3 FM to Mile High Sports Radio on 1510 AM was a total disaster.  At night, major sections of the Denver population can't get the broadcast.  It looks like things are changing soon, so if the higher wattage doesn't fix the issue get a back up plan STAT.

The Pepsi Center (ie, going to the game):

 

The Pepsi Center is a great venue that has hosted some tremendous games and it's hard to remember for Avs fans, but The Can can get crazy loud (watch the Nuggets playoffs). 

 

A visit to the rink needs to improve.  The hot air balloons dropping gift cards to the lower bowl and the occasional free T-shirt toss just doesn't cut it anymore, not when the team doesn't sell itself.  The crew is doing the same shticks on the jumbo-tron, and the entertainment values have actually gone down.  "Back in the day" a visit to an Avalanche game consisted of the Avs skating through a giant mountain lowered from the rafters (now gone), the fan favorite crazy dance to "Thank God I'm a country boy" (hard to explain, you'd know it if you saw it (now gone)), The "I've seen a lot of crazy stuff in my life but that was awesome!" clip from Tommy Boy (gone), The Howler mascot (gone), the two planted KSE employees who wore the crazy pom pom heads (gone),  The live bands like Opie Gone Bad (gone).  Look, I'm not saying all of these were good ideas but what I am saying is that it seems that someone with the Pepsi center just stopped trying. 

 

It's not just the adults that looked bored to tears, the real litmus test is that there are a ton of kids who are bored to tears.  Hey, the Price is Right game you play with some adult in the crowd? Yeah, the kids have no idea what the hell is going on.  The dance off, kiss cam and shell game stuff are all good standbys but they are pure low effort affairs.  Who came up with this intro back in the day? (Embrace the unintended comedy of Darby Hendrickson and cringe at the level of talent on that team).  They took a current pop culture theme and nailed the intro.  Now? Some canned hard rock music to some highlights before the Avs skate into some twirling graphics.  There's nothing memorable there and as I said before, it just seems like someone isn't trying very hard.  For the record, when your team is the 3rd worst in the NHL, that’s when your marketing team should be killing it.

 

Some suggestions:

  1. For the love of all that's holy, find different bump music for when the other team scores.  The death metal riff for a team like the Avs didn't inspire the crowd nor the team.  It turned in to a siren song of despair.  You can hear it after this goal a bit, best I could find.  It was so depressing when it was played, the fact that no one with KSE could recognize this just baffles me.  Oh how I hate that song.
  2. Music is a matter of taste of course but if the Avs want to establish a tradition and appeal to the soul of every true hockey fan they would get an organ.  It's retro but organs for hockey venues are straight up fool proof.
  3. Mascots are goofy and not really part of the Avalanche front office vibe.  But mascots are for kids, like ice girls are for Dads. Not the unprofessional message you want to send?  Well look at it this way, Detroit, Calgary and even Toronto have mascots.  Kids love them and kids are bored to tears at Avalanche games of late.  If I may be so bold, my idea is to recruit Rocky.  Yeah, he's already an NBA mascot but he's already a KSE employee and honestly he's the modern day San Diego Chicken.  He's absolutely brilliant and kids as well as adults are glued to his antics.  When the Nuggets are on the road he can work Avalanche home games.  He may not be up to it but you never know, ask him.  But I do know that he's pure gold.  Give him a raise to work Avs games.
  4. When you aren't selling the building out... you might want to send out the word to your ushers that after the 1st period you don't need to check tickets for lower bowl access.  It looks good on TV if people can move down and it makes it louder on the ice for the home team.
  5. Establish some Pepsi Center traditions.  During the preseason the staff experimented with playing "The good old Hockey game" with the lyrics and bouncing ball thingy.  It wasn't perfect but everyone (and more importantly the kids) could all sing the chorus and frankly it's just cool to sing "Sakic scores!".  It disappeared for some reason.  But it got the crowd together and there’s nothing that kills a building like an arena full of individuals.
  6. I'm a big fan of pop culture and I think it sells.  Matrix intro in 2002? Perfect.  Tommy Boy outtake, fantastic.  Someone inventive might create a "Hello, I'm an Avalanche fan. And I'm a Detroit fan" (Mac vs PC) parody.  Someone creative could do something with a Family Guy clip, an original clip or *gasp* a Slap Shot clip.

Bloggers, Twitter, and the Internet OH MY!:

 

The Avalanche organization has evolved quite a bit from their early years of ownership under COMSAT.  In particular, for those of us that paid attention back in those days, their web presence evolved from a hack job ("Edge on the Web"! Um, 14 years later and I still don’t get it) to a better version to the current www.avalanche.nhl.com page.  Back in the day Angélique (Jori), myself and some others did our best to investigate prospects, moderate message boards and create some sort of online communities where none existed.  Now, the Avalanche provide a lot more information.  Some of the cynical among us might conclude the Avs did so only because they had to being part of the www.NHL.com network.  The cynical might conclude the Avs started posting prospect stories and message boards because other places were already doing so to fill a void.  But, the bottom line is that they have put in a better online effort to inform the fans so even the cynical (who me?) have to admit things are much, much better than they used to be.

 

With all that said, there is plenty of room for improvement.  Historically the Avalanche are pretty much reactive to technology, rather than proactive.  You know what, that’s OK.  Old school management gets a pass, kind of like your grandparents using the VCR.  But the time has passed to embrace some of the things your new players understand but you do not.  Just as one example, just look at your competition at http://capitals.nhl.com/.

 

Like your grandkids, I’m here to help:

  1. Blogs.  You do not like them… maybe.  I can’t really be sure if the Avs pay any attention to them but I got news for you, fans do. The Capitals and other NHL teams provide links to established bloggers.  You might consider it because despite the unsavory reputation, they promote your team even when they are the third worst team in the NHL.
  2. Facebook, Twitter and social networking sites.  Like you I’ve avoided these for some time but this is progress (apparently).  The Caps have a Facebook page.  Ovechkin uses Twitter (my favorite so far was the deadpan, totally serious post of "Getting ready to win 3 games" when they were down 3-1 to NY).  Every one of your players under twenty know what these things are and could post on a blog, send a "tweet" or update a Facebook page.  If fans are interested, it’s another avenue for you to market your team, post links for ticket sales and merchandise etc…
  3. Put up a webcam for training camp and rookie camp.  Oh, and you can advertise under the video. "Always Be Closing"! (You know, the ABCs. Or, in your case Always Be Selling.  ARNASON PUT THE COFFE DOWN!!).
  4. http://youtube.com/user/WashingtonCapitals is a an example of what I talked about with Altitude previously.  Post your material, sell your product.
  5. Some things aren’t even Web 2.0.  Share desktop themes, wallpapers, ringtones, screensavers, etc…
  6. I’ll keep this real simple, Avalanche mobile website.  I know all you executives with KSE rock a Blackberry, you know why you need it.  Heck, develop a simple iphone application with the Avs schedule, of course include hyperlinks in the calendar to sell tickets.
  7. Post the streaming audio of the games from your site.  Avs fans from around the world find the radio broadcasts elsewhere, make it easy on them.  Did I mention the ABCs?
  8. Leverage technology to help your already excellent work in the Colorado community.  Broadcast the Burgundy and White game in a telethon format.  Put up an online auction and raise more money.

 

In sum, now is not the time to sit on your laurels.  This last year the sales slogan was "The Avalanche Experience".  The Avalanche experience needs some improvement.  KSE needs to improve everything from the Altitude broadcast to a visit to the Pepsi Center.  The hard truth of the matter is, the Avalanche Experience is no longer easy money.  It’s time to get progressive and market this team in ways you’ve never done before. 

 

MileHighHockey.com is a fan community, allowing members to post their own thoughts and opinions on the Colorado Avalanche and hockey in general. These views and thoughts may not be shared by the editors of MileHighHockey.com.

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So say we all!

Excellent work Dario! If you need work, KSE could fire their entire PR staff and hire you – part time – full time salary of course.

KSE – we love your team and… truth be told – you’re not the super hot cheerleader captain anymore. You’re kinda Raquel Welch circa 1995 – hot, but in that eww, I need a shower, need to go to confession ‘cause you’re hot but old enough to be my mother/grandmother kind of way, but yeah, I’d go back again.

Help us help you KSE, we want to love you. Enough of giving the fanbase the Heisman please….

by Hopfenkopf on May 13, 2009 12:35 AM MDT reply actions  

Dario

Are you sure you aren’t one of the people they fired? Cuz, damn, those are some really good ideas, and it takes me back to the old days when I could say with a straight face that this was a class organization with a good team I enjoy watching. Great post. Unfortunately, it all makes too much sense. The Avs seem to be too stuck in the land of puppy dogs and sunshine to realize anything is wrong (or at least what to do about it).

I’m interested to see if any of these things pop up in the future with the avs. Like certain other things around here (I’m looking at you, AD, using “the baron” in a blog) at least then we’d know someone was listening to the glut of common sense that abounds here.

Get rid of the loser point

08-09 Avs- can we decline the penalty?

by TheRed on May 13, 2009 1:50 AM MDT reply actions  

superb job, Dario

the official Avalanche Twitter feed: http://twitter.com/Avalanche

enough said?

Hyphens cause writers more trouble than any other form of punctuation, except perhaps commas.

by David Driscoll-Carignan on May 13, 2009 5:24 AM MDT reply actions  

For the love of all that’s holy, find different bump music for when the other team scores.

while you’re at it, get rid of the stupid Twisted Sister crap as well.

Hyphens cause writers more trouble than any other form of punctuation, except perhaps commas.

by David Driscoll-Carignan on May 13, 2009 5:27 AM MDT reply actions  

Twitter feed

Yes, the Avs have a twitter feed. I should have clarified that I meant their players should do it. It seems like there’s some kind of restriction there.

by Dario on May 13, 2009 6:58 AM MDT reply actions  

my point is, they have a twitter feed…and have never posted to it.

Hyphens cause writers more trouble than any other form of punctuation, except perhaps commas.

by David Driscoll-Carignan on May 13, 2009 7:03 AM MDT up reply actions  

Bang on Dario…especially the organ. Look at the Blackhawks…they tried to scale back and nearly kill the organ. And this was during the the Dollar Bill Wirtz period when the Blackhawks were pretty much the red headed stepchild of Chicago sports. But even during that time fans raised holy hell over the decision.

Organs at hockey games rule. So much in fact, that even our minor league club out here pipes it in sometimes (when they aren’t busy playing bad Def Leopard and Motley Crew songs)

by chiavsfan on May 13, 2009 7:32 AM MDT reply actions  

Spot on!

Thanks. If the organization implemented even half of the great items you’ve described, the “Avalanche Experience” would be tremendously improved.

by Cheesus on May 13, 2009 7:52 AM MDT reply actions  

I rec’d the shit out of this. It’s scrumtralescent.

2008-2009 Colorado Avalanche: Dry Humping Mediocrity

by Mike @ MHH on May 13, 2009 8:02 AM MDT reply actions  

It was so good that Mike had to rip off a word invented on SNL to describe how awesome this article is.

by InYoFace on May 13, 2009 4:31 PM MDT up reply actions  

You'd be in a better position than me to know

But I’ve never seen so many rec’s on a post or comment. Record?

Get rid of the loser point

08-09 Avs- can we decline the penalty?

by TheRed on May 13, 2009 7:07 PM MDT up reply actions  

I don’t think there’s any easy way to see which is the most rec’d post. I can see which is the most commented (http://www.milehighhockey.com/2008/7/1/562319/free-agent-day-thread if the stats are correct), but that’s about it.

we’ll just assume it’s #1

Hyphens cause writers more trouble than any other form of punctuation, except perhaps commas.

by David Driscoll-Carignan on May 13, 2009 8:00 PM MDT up reply actions  

tl;dr

Just kidding.

There was a lot of good insight there. Well done.

2008-2009 Avalanche: It's like watching a car crash.

by Drakenlot on May 13, 2009 10:12 AM MDT reply actions  

I know that most of this won’’t even be considered or read by management, but for whatever reason, just reading this makes me feel better about this organization.

Rock on Dario!

by Toast88 on May 13, 2009 12:35 PM MDT reply actions  

I think someone (dario) needs to Fed Ex this thing to Kroenke. Just sayin…

Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try. - Yoda

by BeachNSnowGirl on May 13, 2009 1:51 PM MDT reply actions  

great post Dario

this about sums it up. I’d love for them to do some town-hall meeting type stuff too, like the TBL, where they talk about what they want to do, what their motivations are, etc. hell, they might even get useful feedback from fans!

by thedoctor on May 13, 2009 1:53 PM MDT reply actions  

Thanks for summarizing everything we’ve been complaining about for the past several years. KSE has completely fallen asleep at the wheel and I am convinced that most of their employees are not hockey fans, let alone barely knowing anything about the sport. I have no idea who is charge of marketing the team but the staff is obviously made up of Stan’s kids/nieces/nephews/cousins who come in at 11, take 2 hour lunches and then leave by 3 to play golf or go mountain biking every day. They do nothing with new media to help fans connect with the players, and have done zero with community relations except for the same old children’s hospital visit and wives’ brunch/fashion show for the last several years. Their whole attitude with regard to how they treat Avs fans (Altittude, Avs website, Pepsi Center) is just an insult.

by Pookie on May 13, 2009 3:27 PM MDT reply actions  

Well said Dario. I’m definately a fan of having organ music. I think they need to market the hell out of their first round pick, but they won’t. They have never marketed their stars (that’s a probelm with the league as a whole).

I honestly don’t think anything will change until Lacroix is gone.

Colorado Avalanche Prospects (www.avsprospects.blogspot.com)

by Angélique C. Murray on May 13, 2009 4:54 PM MDT reply actions  

I honestly don’t think anything will change until Lacroix is gone.

Bang. Problem number one, and the only one Dario didn’t address

Get rid of the loser point

08-09 Avs- can we decline the penalty?

by TheRed on May 13, 2009 7:09 PM MDT reply actions  

Epic Post

Great job, Dario. Starting from the top, I can’t stand the lazy into KSE has put together to start games. That intro you linked to used to send chills up and down my spine. I loved the mountain the Avs used to skate out of. I loved Howler and so did my niece. I loved the dancing guy and I hate country music. I loved “Smashes and Crashes” when they were actually clips of actual hockey smashes and crashes. I loved how they played the Star Wars theme when we won games. What happened to the “Red Wings Suck” chants? They used to play Slap Shot clips. They used to play Braveheart clips. We used to have Forsberg.

I cannot stand the Sooper Card, The Price is Right, and gas pump games. They are chucking 5 pound burritos into the crowd. Yes, the crowd is bored shitless. I filled out a survey last season that went to the Avs pointing out much of the in-game entertainment flaws. Guess they didn’t feel it necessary to listen. I remember when Avs games were a thrilling experience and I have been present and noticed every little detail they have removed from the experience. It’s not fair to us as fans, the season ticket holders, or people like Shane who fly thousands of miles for the current “experience”.

Every time I saw or heard the “Avalanche Experience” meme this season, I had an internal chuckle at the irony of that statement while shedding a tear at what it used to mean to attend an Avalanche game.

An ounce of confidence can carry you a mile toward winning. Oh, and Red Wings suck.

by texacogirl on May 13, 2009 7:21 PM MDT reply actions  

They used to play Slap Shot clips. They used to play Braveheart clips

Theres a 99% chance I’m wrong but are they allowed to show those clips without the permission of whoever owns them now. Copyright Infringement/Playing movie clips without permission lawsuits seem to be all the rage now thanks to Youtube

The Savage has spoken. Let it be done

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference"
R. Frost

by Savage33 on May 15, 2009 7:46 AM MDT up reply actions  

I may be wrong, but it might depend on the actual time length of the clip, and the usage.

At least as a school teacher I can show clips of movies as long as they are under a certain time restriction. Since I don’t use movie clips in class I can’t remember what the length is.

MHH: Like the Avs organization, we’ve now officially lost our minds.

I'm The Canary - but I'm not cute nor cuddly, and I don't sing.

by Americanario on May 15, 2009 10:43 AM MDT up reply actions  

Really?

What if you owned a dvd of the movie in question?

2008-2009 Avalanche: It's like watching a car crash.

by Drakenlot on May 15, 2009 9:55 PM MDT up reply actions  

I’m not sure about the legalities but I know when I was in school(2005) we watched a few full movies in class. I’m sure we were’nt legally allowed to but we did with no repercussions that I know off. It’d be completely different for a sports team as they would never get away with it since more people would see it

The Savage has spoken. Let it be done

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference"
R. Frost

by Savage33 on May 16, 2009 7:05 PM MDT up reply actions  

Thanks everyone.

However, he teased the Avalanche with his decision until January 30th when he concluded the Avs sucked his foot just wasn’t ready

Should have been,

However, he teased the Avalanche with his decision until January 30th when he concluded the Avs sucked his foot just wasn’t ready

My strikethrough got wiped out for some reason. Oh well.

Great call on the Braveheart clip TG! I totally forgot about that one which is a sin because that always got the crowd fired up.

KSE has good people and they are very proud of their professionalism and reputation. I think that they have gotten complacent. No business in a competitive market can ever be satisfied and that’s exactly what a trip to the Pepsi center has felt like in the last few years.

by Dario on May 13, 2009 10:22 PM MDT reply actions  

I’ve been to at least one Avs game every season since ‘95 and to me what has changed is the avs suck now fans. Maybe it is because we are no longer as competitive as we used to be, but I’ve noticed a steady decline in the number of hard-core fans at Pepsi Center for several years now. First and foremost,I blame Denver fans in general for being notoriously band wangoning, but also the number of tickets sold to corporations is outrageous. Lower the price of tickets, and stop selling them to companies for people here on business trips. I disagree with marketing for kids though, market for adult males. That is your target group. They will buy beer, and two dogs, no matter the price. Get cheerleaders like Carolina. I don’t care if it is ‘untraditional’ it will put asses in seats. Have you been to a Mammoth game? Hot girls in hottubs sells tickets. Encouraging roudy behavior is much more fun for your target consumer, than entertainment revolving around kids. Leave your kids at home. Rabid fans spitting foul language, that is what we need more of. I want Red Wings and Canucks fans to be fearful when they are in the Can. That is what is missing from the Pepsi Center experiance.

by ProZach on May 16, 2009 12:39 AM MDT reply actions  

just got around to reading it, and this was a great post. thanks Dario!

Sippin' PBR on a Colorado game day...

by mfured20 on May 16, 2009 11:57 AM MDT reply actions  

The Avs owe you some $$

My god, Dario, that’s about 20K worth of consulting right there. Of course the lazy dipshits who “market” the team would never do anything remotely like you suggested, but that is absolutely brilliant.

With the team sucking so bad, I die a slow, slow death each time I’m at the Can and witness (choose all that apply):

1. Jake Schroeder
2. King Soopers Cards
3. Youth hockey players who can’t skate/shoot
4. The opening video intro courtesy of some high school AV department
5. No ice girls

by Dan Winkler on May 16, 2009 9:20 PM MDT reply actions  

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PHILADELPHIA - MAY 16:  A fan of the Philadelphia Flyers holds up a sign reading "Next Goalie" behind goalie Carey Price #32 of the Montreal Canadiens in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals during the 2010 NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs at Wachovia Center on May 16, 2010 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

Habs Finally Lock Up Carey Price, Sign Goalie To Two-Year Deal

National Hockey League commissioner Gary Bettman answers questions during a pre-game media availability before the Pittsburgh Penguins season opener against the New York Rangers in a NHL hockey game in Pittsburgh, Friday, Oct. 2, 2009. (AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar) +25 updates

Ultimatum? NHL Reportedly Threatens To Toss Out Kovalchuk, Luongo Deals Without NHLPA Concessions

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Report: Donald Fehr Hands NHLPA List Of Conditions On Becoming Union Leader

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