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The scary truth about the origin of the winged wheel

 

I started this explanation in response to Paul X’s concern for his son’s future, but thought I would reprise and extend it here since it is both pertinent and important.

I think it’s time to unveil the dark truth about the red wings history. The weak back story about their emblem evolving from a Canadian cycling club just doesn’t ring true.  That’s because it isn’t.

 

The winged wheel was actually ripped off of Satan’s chariot when he was cast down from heaven. When God found it later, he was torn. He was not permitted to destroy it, but he knew it was a powerful evil object.  He did not want to return it and allow Satan its benefit and he didn’t want it to be mistakenly honored by humans, so he kept it on earth, but placed it in the lowest, foulest, place of dishonor he could find: red wing jerseys.

 Deluded detroit fans, sensing only its power and not its evil came to worship it and were soon completely under Satan’s thrall. The evil allure of the winged wheel slowly devours the brain and souls of those exposed to it, which explains why otherwise honorable human beings like yzerman cannot escape its spell.  Even those who divorce themselves from it bear permanent aftereffects which explains the performance dichotomy that is Kyle Quincey

The winged wheel’s evil is a dynamic thing, growing and shrinking based on outside influences, seeping mostly easily into all that is red which is why this color is to be avoided if at all possible.  Knowing this, God created Santa (hence the anagram) to slowly wage the battle for good red which is why some things (cherries, licorice, apples—post Eden) have returned to the side of the good.

In response to this, Satan, from time to time, when he feels the evil of the winged wheel slipping,  sends one of his special minions (bertuzzi, mccarty, nice Russian gents from the “Red Army” team) to entrance them once again and rekindle their love of evil.

MileHighHockey.com is a fan community, allowing members to post their own thoughts and opinions on the Colorado Avalanche and hockey in general. These views and thoughts may not be shared by the editors of MileHighHockey.com.

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