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An Open Letter To The Avalanche


Dear Avalanche,

I hope this letter finds you well. We're not the most-prolific letter writers around, but we have found ourselves moved to write previously to such notables as Sandy Clough, the NHL and the greatest hockey player to ever live (clearly, we're not averse to a little hyperbole from time to time). It occurs to us that we've neglected you, dear Avalanche, and we feel like we need to rectify that immediately.

So, dearest Avalanche, how goes the battle? We're fine here, thanks for asking. Oh, Martha had that nasty flare up a while back, but that seems to be under control. The less we speak of that, the better. We're just glad it's behind her. And Herbert is still puttering away in the flower garden as usual. I swear, someday we'll end up burying him out there, right between the petunias and his prized begonias. Overall, we are well.

To be honest, friend, it's you that we're a little worried about. Yes, we know you've had a marvelous year. That Andy fella has been quite an addition to the family and boy haven't those young guns grown up so darn quickly? Gosh, it seems like only yesterday some of those boys were just knee high to a grasshopper and now look at them. We're so proud of all of you.

Now, we're only going to say this because we care, but we've heard some disturbing news lately and we hope you can set us straight. We've heard you've had some relapses recently, and there's even talk you might fold up shop earlier than expected this year. Avalanche, you have to know we're going to be proud of you no matter what happens, as it's been wonderful spending time with you this year - far more entertaining than we've ever imagined. But you know how it goes, dear friend. Once you get a taste of something sweet, you don't want to give it up, especially when your taste buds have been exposed to a lot of tartness. Our time with you has been so enjoyable this year, we simply don't want our visits together to end. We know they can't last forever, but we'd sure like to prolong the magic for a while longer. Don't you agree?

So, dearest Avalanche, let's all work together to plan for a longer trip. Pay no attention to those Canadians who are pressuring you towards an early departure. No one cares what they think.  You can leave when you want to leave and we sure would appreciate you sticking around for a lot longer. Please.

Heck, the guest room is free until mid-June if you think you can stick around that long.

Sincerely,

The Mile High Faithful

 

PS I heard you've got a big new dog. You can find a kennel for him, right? Martha's deathly allergic and Herbert thinks he looks ridiculous.

Comment 24 comments  |  3 recs  | 

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That Herbert makes me crazy. He has an ill-favored look.

The Calgary Flames: It's like watching the Toronto Maple Leafs...two hours later. (Thank you "Down Goes Brown)

by chiavsfan on Mar 30, 2010 6:31 AM MDT reply actions  

I love that dog! (And this letter!)

by xskatebakerrx on Mar 30, 2010 7:45 AM MDT reply actions  

THIS

Wow this is great now just to get the players to jump on here and read it. Can we post it on their Facebook fan page?? I do know this though if they need a place to crash and get home cooked meals while playing the Washington Capitals in the Stanley Cup Finals i will be more then happy to offer up my house and my friends houses out here in VA and Upper NC!!!

I may live in NC but my seats are definatly Center Ice LOL
Official Member of the "Cody Mac will beat you down" fan club!!

by BryceLeo on Mar 30, 2010 8:56 AM MDT reply actions  

Wow. We are certainly “rallying the troops” the last two days. I like it. Time to go on the offensive. A playoff spot is ripe for the taking. So…TAKE IT!

Burgundy army now taking recruits.

by InYoFace on Mar 30, 2010 9:22 AM MDT reply actions  

Yip and Wilson may be back tomorrow. Maybe this will help Martha.

Jibbles is an older man so you can trust what he says.

by Bob in Boulder on Mar 30, 2010 9:33 AM MDT reply actions  

I am dancing in public if Brandon Yip plays tomorrow.

by JohnnieWalker on Mar 30, 2010 4:15 PM MDT up reply actions  

What does the lineup look like if he does? hmmmmmm, interesting thought…..

This is our team: underrated, filled with amazingly talented kids and veteran leaders, both young and old, who are buying into the vision of a hard working, fast moving, never-say-die game. They are the 2009-2010 Colorado Avalanche.

by Cheryl Bradley on Mar 30, 2010 4:22 PM MDT up reply actions  

No one

is coming back Wednesday…

by Avalanche318 on Mar 30, 2010 8:56 PM MDT up reply actions  

shows how much you know

This is our team: underrated, filled with amazingly talented kids and veteran leaders, both young and old, who are buying into the vision of a hard working, fast moving, never-say-die game. They are the 2009-2010 Colorado Avalanche.

by Cheryl Bradley on Mar 31, 2010 2:21 PM MDT up reply actions  

Threats will get you nowhere.

2009-2010 Colorado Avalanche - On the upside, there's only 7 more (regular season) games of Darcy Tucker left!

by Hopfenkopf on Mar 30, 2010 10:41 PM MDT up reply actions  

I will cease and desist from my normal routine of pessimism to jump on bandwagon of positivity. Go Avs. :)

by ljp78 on Mar 30, 2010 10:09 AM MDT reply actions  

hahaha!! this has made my day!! and it’s not even noon!! well done

2009-10 Colorado Avalanche Playoff Mantra..ok we're in..what now??

by horbayj on Mar 30, 2010 10:22 AM MDT reply actions  

If not for us, do it for Martha!

"Four goals in sixteen shots... I'm really tired of the...............25% rule." -John Tortorella

by esylvester6 on Mar 30, 2010 10:27 AM MDT reply actions  

Brilliant

This is our team: underrated, filled with amazingly talented kids and veteran leaders, both young and old, who are buying into the vision of a hard working, fast moving, never-say-die game. They are the 2009-2010 Colorado Avalanche.

by Cheryl Bradley on Mar 30, 2010 10:35 AM MDT reply actions  

Dear Mile High Faithful

It’s so good to hear from you. We’ve missed seeing your smiling faces in the Pepsi Center this past couple of years. I hope you can make it to a game before this season ends. We’ve been playing hard, and we miss your voices.

Glad to hear about Martha. Enough said. Make sure Herbert washes his hands before he makes another batch of cookies, particularly if he’s spreading fertilizer that day. That “upper body injury” to Andy around Christmas was dreadful, and made the locker room smell even worse than normal.

Got to get back to practice. Coach Joe thinks that maybe we should do something different in the 3rd period in the defensive zone. Coach Tony was happy with the “desperate fling toward the blueline”. We like it because it doesn’t take much thought, but Sly thinks that we might be more successful with a “pass”. Need to figure out what that means.

We’ll write more after the playoffs.

Yours truly,

The Avalanche

It's all fun and games until someone blows up Detroit...then it's a PARTY!!!

by Busted Twigg on Mar 30, 2010 10:40 AM MDT reply actions   1 recs

LOL

I may live in NC but my seats are definatly Center Ice LOL
Official Member of the "Cody Mac will beat you down" fan club!!

by BryceLeo on Mar 30, 2010 11:32 AM MDT up reply actions  

Hey Avs,

Yo?!? What the hell? We had a pact, man. You were gonna do the whole pass-pass-Wolski around with the puck thing on the power play all year and we were gonna stand around and shoot the puck and maybe get half of them on net. We were both supposed to suck. Now all of a sudden you decide you’re gonna get all good and shit? Totally weak.

Anyway, we gotta step it up, man. All of us. Cuz we love ya an’ all, but for real, we don’t wanna see your asses on the golf course til summer. Down the stretch, let’s hammer the shit outta who we need to, secure our rightful spots and kick some ass in the post. ’Aight?

Peace out,
The Kings

This is our team: underrated, filled with amazingly talented kids and veteran leaders, both young and old, who are buying into the vision of a hard working, fast moving, never-say-die game. They are the 2009-2010 Colorado Avalanche.

by Cheryl Bradley on Mar 30, 2010 2:24 PM MDT reply actions  

So Martha and Herbert are married or just dating?

by Pinchy The Lobster on Mar 30, 2010 2:54 PM MDT reply actions  

living in sin.

Colorado Avalanche: Playoffs or Golf - which will it be Boys!

by hockeymom on Mar 30, 2010 3:46 PM MDT up reply actions  

They are so going to hell.

I think it's Ron Toodler, Kronklybeans!

by Pinchy The Lobster on Mar 30, 2010 4:26 PM MDT up reply actions  

It’s called common law marriage. The Bible says so.

This is our team: underrated, filled with amazingly talented kids and veteran leaders, both young and old, who are buying into the vision of a hard working, fast moving, never-say-die game. They are the 2009-2010 Colorado Avalanche.

by Cheryl Bradley on Mar 30, 2010 4:48 PM MDT up reply actions  

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