Stan Kroenke is so cheap, instead of a fire alarm at the Pepsi Center, they hang Jiffy Pop from the ceiling.

Stan Kroenke is so cheap, when players ask for a contract extension, he prints the old one on bigger paper.

Stan Kroenke is so cheap, the Pepsi Center zambonis have been replaced by retarded kids who lick the ice.

Stan Kroenke is so cheap, the next captain of the Avs is going to wear the ¢.

Stan Kroenke is so cheap, penalty box visitors are going to have to pay a toll to get out.

Stan Kroenke is so cheap, the fourth line of the Avs is now called the "Soup Line."

Stan Kroenke is so cheap, Fan Appreciation Night will be limited to just one fan.

Stan Kroenke is so cheap, the Pepsi Center will be renamed because of Stan felt he was ripped off because he had to pay for a Pepsi Free.

Stan Kroenke is so cheap, he tips less than Steve Buscemi.

Stan Kroenke is so cheap, he had birds arrested for stealing rice thrown at his child's wedding.

Stan Kroenke is so cheap, you can find all hats "donated" after a hat trick on eBay for $15.99 each.

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