Northwest Check -"lol Later 2011" Edition
by A.J. Haefele on Dec 30, 2011 7:01 AM MST
in Northwest Check
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Holy balls what a week in the NHL. Lots of movement in the standings on a daily basis and the regression bug continued to nestle happily in Minnesota, infuriating their fan base and delighting everyone else because Wild fans make themselves absurdly easy to hate. It's not me, it's you. I promise.
Outside of the Weeping Willows in the Kind of North (get it? They look like Christmas trees and are constantly crying!), the rest of the division remained productive and helped themselves in the ways they needed to. Calgary continued their push for another 9th place finish as they've dug themselves out of the early season hole and straight into contention for being eliminated on the second-to-last day of the season. Have to admire the consistency, at least.
Edmonton continued to sink back down to expectations, bringing into question the validity of the great off-season debate: DOES ANYONE HAVE A DEFENSE WORSE THAN COLORADO? The answer is, of course, yes. Edmonton does. It's starting to show through because they suck and are losing a lot (quality sentence, AJ). I absolutely love their online communities, though. High quality chaps, they are.
Vancouver won't stop winning. PLEASE STOP WINNING.
See you next year <3
Team capsules after the jump.
All standings related info taken from NHL.com...
Calgary Flames (38 GP 18-16-4 40 Pts)
Last Week: 2-1-0 3-1 W @ VAN, 2-1 W @ CBJ, 1-3 L @ NYI
Conference Standing: 11th Place
Overall Rankings:
- Goals For: 2.4 (25th)
- Goals Against: 2.6 (12th)
- Power Play %: 17.2 (17th)
- Penalty Kill %: 83.6 (12th)
This Week: Supar bizzy week for the Flames as they play the second night of a back-to-back at Ottawa tonight and then take a night off to celebrate a largely mediocre calendar year for the Flames before hitting up party central Sunday night at Nashville. Calgary somehow has to pick themselves up off the party floor as they head to Washington Wednesday. Good luck!
News: A look back at the first year of Jay Feaster's tenure as GM.
Blake Comeau looks back at his time in New York. Also includes the hilarious assertion that the 5 points in 17 games counts as "flourishing".
With the WJC in full swing, several Flames take the time to reflect on how baalllllliiinnnn it was when they went and dreamed of being in the NHL before their dreams were crushed and they ended up in Calgary instead.
Why am I linking to a preview of a relatively unimportant (no rivalry, no playoff implications, still in December) game? The first line will make long-time MHHers lol pretty hard.
Transactions: None listed and I am not sifting through press releases to update the section just in case something did go down >_<
Injuries:
- Anton Babchuk is on IR with a hand injury.
- David Moss is on IR with a foot injury.
- Mark Giordano is on IR with a hamstring injury.
- Henrik Karlsson is on IR with an MCL injury.
- Brett Carson is on IR with an "upper body" injury.
- Matt Stajan is on IR with an ankle sprain.
Colorado Avalanche (39 GP 20-18-1 41 Pts)
Last Week: 3-1-0 2-1 W vs. TB, 4-2 W @ MIN, 1-4 L vs. WPG, 3-2 W vs. PHX
Conference Standings: 10th place
Overall Rankings:
- Goals For: 2.5 (24th)
- Goals Against: 2.9 (21st)
- Power Play %: 18.9 (12th)
- Penalty Kill %: 81.1 (19th)
This Week: It was all fun and games winning at home and such but now we have to figure out this whole road gig again because the Avs hit the r-r-r-road (Jack) for essentially all of January, beginning on the last day of December (BLEW YO MIND, DIDN'T I?) in Anaheim. They take their traveling road show allllllll the way down the street to Los Angeles on Monday. Arduous, to say the least.
Edmonton Oilers (36 GP 15-18-3 33 Pts)
Last Week: 0-2-0 3-5 L @ VAN, 3-4 L @ MIN
Conference Standings: 13th place
Overall Rankings:
- Goals For: 2.7 (12th)
- Goals Against: 2.7 (14th)
- Power Play %: 20.7 (3rd)
- Penalty Kill %: 84.6 (9th)
This Week: Edmonton had the pleasure of spending Christmas chillin with the fams (at least, they didn't play and their game the next day was only in Vancouver so they could've been chillin with the fams if they wanted to) so the NHL schedule makers are exacting their revenge by giving them a hectic New Year's slate. It could be worse, though, as the Oilers spend New Year's Eve in New York, where they play an 11:00 AM game against the Islanders. With just a day off and more travel, Edmonton hits up Chicago Tuesday before swinging back into the New York to play Buffalo Wednesday. Why the NHL schedule makers did this...I do not understand. Why not just have them play the Sabres when they were already in New York? Dick move, NHL. Anyway, the Oilers finish their busy week Thursday night in St. Louis where the resurgent Chris Stewart looks to continue his white-hot play of late. This paragraph is enormous.
News: Kevin Lowe is like, WJC, fyeah.
Ryan Murray is like, WJC, fyeah.
Anytime I link to Copper N Blue, just go read it. It doesn't matter what it's about. Seriously just go read it.
Not even kidding. Just read it.
Transactions: Recalled D Alex Plante (see below =/ ) and Colten Teubert
Injuries:
- Cam Barker is out 3 months with an ankle injury.
- Ales Hemsky is day-to-day with the flu.
- Ryan Whitney is day-to-day with an ankle injury.
- Alex Plante is out indefinitely with a concussion.
Minnesota Wild (39 GP 21-12-6 48 Pts)
Last Week: 1-1-1 (Terran OP) 2-4 L vs. COL (suck itttttt), 1-2 OTL @ NSH, 4-3 W vs. EDM
Conference Standing: 2nd place
Overall Rankings:
- Goals For: 2.3 (28th)
- Goals Against: 2.2 (4th)
- Power Play %: 15.3 (20th)
- Penalty Kill %: 85.0 (8th)
This Week: Just two games for the Wild this week. Hopefully nobody hits their guys hard and they learn to skate better because their presence on the internet crying about absolutely everything is getting on my nerves. Raffi Torres takes his clown act to Minnesota on New Year's Eve for what is sure to be delicious fun. Maybe he'll elbow someone there and actually connect so Wild fans will stop being so butthurt about Erik Johnson missing his check. Minnesota also travels to Vancouver Wednesday where noted clean-hitter Maxim Lapierre awaits to drive a poor helpless, toe-picking Wild player face first into the glass. In that situation, everybody wins! Except the rabbits. They never seem to win.
News: In case you missed this from yesterday's thread where several of us enjoyed mocking it, here's Hockey Wilderness donning the tin foil cap and baawwwwing about the lack of suspensions. I tend to like the guys over there more than most but when you include Erik Johnson whiffing on a hit and cry about it being more about the result than the action, I think you've been watching Minority Report too much and you deserve to be mocked because Tom Cruise.
The tin foil silliness continues with an article titled "If Wild player were decapitated, would NHL notice?". You know what? I'm still mad about Lapierre not getting shit for running Wilson but I am so glad we don't have this going on. This is embarrassing.
Transactions: Reassigned forwards Jed Ortmeyer, Jeff Taffe, and Jon DiSalvatore to Houston. Recalled D Nate Prosser from Houston.
Injuries: Lazy copy/paste mode ENGAGE.
- Guillaume Latendresse is out indefinitely after experiencing concussion symptoms.
- Devin Setoguchi suffered a lower body injury on December 6 and was placed on injured reserve two days later. He has resumed skating on his own.
- Casey Wellman suffered a wrist injury and was placed on the IR December 18. He has been skating.
- Clayton Stoner suffered a lower body injury on December 22 and placed on the IR December 27.
- Jared Spurgeon suffered a lower body injury Monday against Colorado. He missed his first game of the season on Wednesday night.
Vancouver Canucks (38 GP 24-12-2 50 Pts)
Last Week: 3-1-0 1-3 L vs. CGY, 5-3 W vs. EDM, 3-2 W @ SJ, 5-2 W @ ANA
Conference Standing: 2nd place
Overall Rankings:
- Goals For: 3.3 (3rd)
- Goals Against: 2.4 (7th)
- Power Play %: 24.8 (1st)
- Penalty Kill %: 85.9 (6th)
This Week: The Canucks have finally caught and surpassed Minnesota for the division lead and will look to begin putting legit distance between themselves and the four underlings they mockingly refer to as division "rivals". This journey to continue making me look smart and c6 look like a scrub who makes bold predictions on the internet without any true genius begins anew in 2012 after their New Year's Eve contest in game three of the California swing every team hates doing at Los Angeles. Their actual 2012 road to more playoff shame and hot making out while a riot happens around them pictures starts back at home against San Jose on Monday and continues as they will take the free points given to them Wednesday when Minnesota is scheduled to visit but the entire team will actually be decapitated and the NHL won't notice. Haha whoops!
News: HOT PEOPLE LIKE THE CANUCKS. Hot people are apparently stupid.
Since everyone was DYING TO KNOW Dave Lozo's All-2011 Team, he mercifully put an end to our tireless waiting and released it. Close one, Dave! Almost ran out of time there, buddy.
I really don't look forward to the dayy when Greg de Vries shows up at the Pepsi Center (or whatever the home venue is) in 20 years and starts signing autographs like he was a big deal.
Andrew Ebbett is balllllinnnnn.
At least one team knows regression exists and can accept this. People take shots at BRey in the comments. I lol'd.
Transactions: I am really tired of writing about poor Mark Mancari being recalled every week. JUST KEEP HIM FFS.
Injuries:
- Steve Pinizzotto is out indefinitely with a shoulder injury
- Byron Bitz is out indefinitely with a lower body injury
- David Booth is out 4-6 weeks with a knee injury.
- Aaron Volpatti is out 4-6 months with a shoulder injury.
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Alright, alright. I’ll goo to C&B…
It's all about Winnik
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 30, 2011 7:19 AM MST reply actions
I seriously can't stress enough
Just how awesome those guys are. They do SUCH good work
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
Mile High Hockey : Where B- is different than C+
by A.J. Haefele on Dec 30, 2011 7:58 AM MST up reply actions
This paragraph is enormous
Yes. Yes it was.
Calgary needs to trade Iginla in the worst way. He’s so good that the Flames will never be bad enough to get a top five pick. The team has nothing in the pipeline to get better than a bubble team. They are in the worst possible situation. PS Joe Sakic loves Iginla. PPS Inginla loves Sakic even more. BFF.
I'll keep this brief.
I've spent all season
absolutely terrified of the Caps offering the Avs first rounder to Calgary for Iginla. It just makes so much sense and has the potential to screw us so hard that I’ve been afraid to say anything about it because I know Calgary’s management reads MHH.
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
Mile High Hockey : Where B- is different than C+
by A.J. Haefele on Dec 30, 2011 8:29 AM MST up reply actions
Why would the caps need another awesome winger when they really need a center?
"In my experience, there's no such thing as luck" -Obi Wan Kenobi
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink
to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
Because until recently their awesome wingers weren’t really playing awesome? Actually, they could use a 2C since Hunter has Marcus Johansson playing at LW now.
by vtcapsfan99 on Dec 30, 2011 11:34 PM MST up reply actions
They could use a 2C anyway. Old Ovechkin and Iginla are two of a select few wingers who can make a strong line on their own.
Don’t think Avs 1st for Iginla makes perfect sense because of cap room issues with room needed for Carlson and Alzner and Green and only one impact forward in the pipeline. So don’t sweat it.
Red Line Station and @RedArmyLine, featuring coverage of the most frustrating team in the NHL
I believe in next year.
by red army line on Dec 31, 2011 4:38 AM MST via Android app up reply actions
I mean
I’m just terrified of the Avs first rounder coming back into the division. Calgary seems the most logical because they’re awkwardly built and have an aging star who should be strongly considering accepting a trade elsewhere now and the Flames picking up that first rounder would just be…so much salt in the wound
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
Mile High Hockey : Where B- is different than C+
by A.J. Haefele on Dec 31, 2011 4:42 AM MST up reply actions
This article is the best thing that has happened to me today.
Thanks AJ.
"You're only as good as your coach wants you to be." - Bob Probert
:D
Just please, please don’t go home to Rich and make him watch Minority Report.
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
Mile High Hockey : Where B- is different than C+
by A.J. Haefele on Dec 30, 2011 8:31 AM MST up reply actions
LOLOLOLOL!
Ooh! Good idea! I wouldn’t have thought of it. I’ll let him know he can thank you later! ;)
"You're only as good as your coach wants you to be." - Bob Probert
Oh god
He’ll never speak to me again =x
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
Mile High Hockey : Where B- is different than C+
by A.J. Haefele on Dec 30, 2011 8:41 AM MST up reply actions
lol
<3 you both.
It's all about Winnik
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 30, 2011 8:51 AM MST up reply actions
<3 you too Sandie!
You kidding AJ? He’ll see it as the epic troll that it is and respect you even more.
:/ lost a 20.00 bill this AM. No idea. Knew I should have stayed in bed.
"You're only as good as your coach wants you to be." - Bob Probert
Yuck, that’s not starting out in a good way.
It's all about Winnik
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 30, 2011 9:16 AM MST up reply actions
I lost ten gambling at the bar. Goddamn games.
"In my experience, there's no such thing as luck" -Obi Wan Kenobi
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink
to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
Ship, captain, crew.
"In my experience, there's no such thing as luck" -Obi Wan Kenobi
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink
to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
never heard of it…
It's all about Winnik
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 30, 2011 6:33 PM MST up reply actions
Pretty popular bar dice game. You can probably find it on google. :/
"In my experience, there's no such thing as luck" -Obi Wan Kenobi
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink
to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
LOL
Probably. Here it’s mainly poker…
It's all about Winnik
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 30, 2011 6:42 PM MST up reply actions
smaller scale, only for a few bucks loonies with a few people.
"In my experience, there's no such thing as luck" -Obi Wan Kenobi
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink
to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
Ah, yeah, for less people we play pool. Well, they play pool, I suck at pool.
It's all about Winnik
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 30, 2011 6:58 PM MST up reply actions
my bar is too small for a pool table. It’s really the only reason why I spen time at the dive.
"In my experience, there's no such thing as luck" -Obi Wan Kenobi
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink
to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
Haha
I attempt to play. My problem is that I only play with people that can sink 5 or 6 balls in a row and then there’s me who is, at max, a one at a time, kind of person. Get’s frustrating. Plus no one is ever willing to teach me the angles, apparently I hold the cue oddly too, since I just did whatever and don’t know how to do it.
It's all about Winnik
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 31, 2011 5:38 PM MST up reply actions
Lol, I get sucked into playing that at the Gateway.
Sorry bout your monies.
"You're only as good as your coach wants you to be." - Bob Probert
by gl avfan on Dec 31, 2011 5:34 AM MST via Android app up reply actions
the Weeping Willows in the Kind of North
Bra-vo
Maybe
Jibblescribbits: C'mon over and waste some time
by Jibblescribbits on Dec 30, 2011 9:53 AM MST reply actions
From an Avs standpoint, it’ll be really nice to get 2011 behind us.
THE COLORADO AVALANCHE HAVE WON THE STANLEY CUP. RAYMOND BOURQUE: A DREAM COME TRUE!
agreed
but we are basically starting off 2012 in a great way
I'm not questioning your powers of observation; I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
by ProfessorOak on Dec 30, 2011 11:44 AM MST up reply actions
You’re making me rethink whether someone can get higher than an A+ in July.
A man who stole my whisky used the defense that no one could resist a bottle of Scotch. I had no choice but to testify on his behalf.
Oh?
I figured you’d dock me some portion of a letter grade because I blatantly called you out, hoedown throwdown style.
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
Mile High Hockey : Where B- is different than C+
by A.J. Haefele on Dec 31, 2011 3:37 AM MST up reply actions
I <3 this feature.
Some days, I feel like I’ve accidentally entered the Church of Tulowitzki on Baseball Easter.
Proud GM of the PRMLB Cincinnati Reds!
SB Nation Denver | On Twitter | Random Music Writings
by Muzia on Dec 30, 2011 11:54 AM MST reply actions 1 recs
<3
Neva would’ve happened without your ideas :D
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
Mile High Hockey : Where B- is different than C+
by A.J. Haefele on Dec 31, 2011 3:37 AM MST up reply actions
AJ, sadly these run so long that I usually don’t have time to read them at work. Office closed this week. Great summary. Maybe I need to change my work priorities so I can dive in. Thanks.
OK Shermie, time to be the shepherd
You gotta do what you gotta do!
These usually help me fill in my first couple of hours on Fri AM.
"You're only as good as your coach wants you to be." - Bob Probert
LOL
I enjoy them. Keep me entertained.
It's all about Winnik
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 30, 2011 12:57 PM MST up reply actions
I'm sorry!
I believe this was actually the longest I’ve ever written. Honestly, this feature runs about 800 words just on the data alone. I try to stretch the writing or lean towards brevity depending on the word count because it IS an enormous amount of information. Let me tell you how unexcited I am about moving to an 8-team division (or conference, whatever) next season. It’ll be 3k words minimum!
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
Mile High Hockey : Where B- is different than C+
by A.J. Haefele on Dec 31, 2011 3:34 AM MST up reply actions
I’ll just have to make a recurring appointment on my calendar for Friday mornings.
OK Shermie, time to be the shepherd
by Busted Twigg on Dec 31, 2011 11:49 AM MST up reply actions
I just noticed...
that SoB has a bracelet on, it looks like the Lokomotiv bracelet to me, what about you guys?!
It's all about Winnik
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 30, 2011 3:29 PM MST reply actions
Duchene
I’m assuming he’s not on the SoCal road trip at all, regardless of today’s examination. Anyone who could confirm or deny this would be forever in my debt…er, I’d be grateful…
Thinking about buying tickets to the Ducks game…just might not want to drive 40 miles for a Duchene-less team…
Hey, I said MIGHT.
When does the hurting stop?
I don't think so.
I believe RoB said that he was leaving for SoCal and DP was still saying the Avs were waiting on news.
It's all about Winnik
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 30, 2011 4:32 PM MST up reply actions
np
Wish I had better news. I still haven’t heard any updates.
It's all about Winnik
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 30, 2011 5:13 PM MST up reply actions
I don’t see why he wouldn’t be on the trip. If they’re not sure of the injury, why not have him with in case he can play tomorrow or (more likely) Monday?
Duchene may be the face of this franchise, but O’Reilly is the heart. - Guitarpick8120
Mile High Hockey
The Hockey Writers
by Cheryl Bradley on Dec 30, 2011 5:18 PM MST up reply actions
You might be right, I was under the impression that he was being tested while the rest of the team was boarding.
It's all about Winnik
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 30, 2011 5:19 PM MST up reply actions
Duchene out at least a month.
It's all about Winnik
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 30, 2011 5:58 PM MST up reply actions
My, AJ, aren’t we snarky today. Love it.
"In my experience, there's no such thing as luck" -Obi Wan Kenobi
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink
to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
What about …
Cam, while I agree in general with everything here, remember that regression, while it has to happen, doesn’t have to happen on a time frame. Your comment that
but the play of Cory Schneider and Roberto Luongo is getting to be unsustainable and it will hit a bit of a speed bump.
ignores the reality of what Thomas did last year. His season was unsustainable from about Nov 1 on – yet he sustained it. Regression will happen, but it may not be in January, it may not be in February. It may be in October of next year. Or this weekend. Who knows?
Loved all of this.
"In my experience, there's no such thing as luck" -Obi Wan Kenobi
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink
to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
everthing but the “loved all of this” was a comment from a nucks guy.
"In my experience, there's no such thing as luck" -Obi Wan Kenobi
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink
to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
I freaking do it all the time.
Seriously, Cupcakes used to take me three or four times as long as they do now because I had to fight the dang bq.
It's all about Winnik
by Sandie Gauthier on Dec 30, 2011 7:48 PM MST up reply actions
Thomas I think was a more reasonable 930 or so in the second half of the season.
Red Line Station and @RedArmyLine, featuring coverage of the most frustrating team in the NHL
I believe in next year.
by red army line on Dec 31, 2011 4:41 AM MST via Android app up reply actions
Oh hey, did you guys realize JohnnieOil has access to the Oilers dressing room? I mean, how else could he make statements about Hemsky’s "bad attitude", "wanting to be the star", and "acting like a spoiled brat".
Seriously how the fuck do people think they know this stuff about teams? I always wonder why fans think they should know who the captain should be.
Everything you know about your team comes from what the team tells the media, and the media tells you. There’s two huge filters in there, and you don’t even know 1% of what goes on in the dressing room. It’s like me judging your worth as a father based on what I hear from your next door neighbour.
by julian.albrecht
"In my experience, there's no such thing as luck" -Obi Wan Kenobi
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink
to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
by TheRed on Dec 30, 2011 6:38 PM MST reply actions 2 recs
Yeah, another bq fail, but that was all the guy at the end. great quote, especially the last sentence.
"In my experience, there's no such thing as luck" -Obi Wan Kenobi
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink
to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
by TheRed on Dec 30, 2011 6:38 PM MST up reply actions 1 recs
Agree with you strongly on this. It always annoys me when I read people saying Brooks Laich should be the C. How do we really know what happens in the dressing room and whether or not someone is a good leader, we just assume things from the heavily filtered news we get. Even a show like 24/7 is heavily edited to present the story that HBO wants to tell.
by vtcapsfan99 on Dec 30, 2011 11:37 PM MST up reply actions
Damn this was a good one aj
At exactly what point do you start to realize that life without knowledge is death in disguise?
by SteveHouse on Dec 30, 2011 7:35 PM MST via Android app reply actions
Wow
Thanks for all the compliments, guys! Glad you enjoyed it. Hopefully I get into the same kind of tizzy I was in when I wrote it every week <3
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
Mile High Hockey : Where B- is different than C+
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