Final Grade: Mike@MHH



Can someone do that magic thing that makes a picture suddenly appear that's oddly pertinent to the purpose of this post...EDITOR'S NOTE: Done.

This report card is a joint effort by Me and all the commenters below. See, see how I give credit to the wonderful and brilliant commenters on every post who make the blog and its posts as good as they are. Jerks. 

Final Grade: B+

Midseason Grade: D-

Last Year: A

In the beginning, MHH was without form and void. Then Mike came and apparently it became a blog. That is at least the impression of its creation we get from Mike. 

Mike does not "debut" on MHH, MHH debuts when he permits it. 

MHH Nicknames: Mike, Mike@MHH, M@MHH, M@M, and @. I don't think there is a shorter nickname. But thank got the "@" exists because god forbid Mike have to use the word "at". 

Career Highlights: His career highlight is of course his sandwich smashing. It was pretty brilliant. But as a goalie he knows that what goes up, must come down. 

Report: Mike ended last year on an extremely high note with his roast beef destruction. It allowed him to destroy incredibly soft and delicious items with his fist. Who wouldn't want to do that? Who doesn't like to massacre things that put up no fight? Who couldn't resist obliterating an order of food because there wasn't sauce? It's not sociopathic. Nope. Not at all. It's not like this was Mike pre-Arby's and now he's this

Guess what? I BROUGHT VISUAL AIDS THIS TIME.  This is an animated explanation of how I imagine Mike functions. Also, this applies to Dan's life model. And probably Bob's. And sometimes Jibbles'. If you don't know what that link is from I pity you. 

Anyway, now that we've concluded he psychopathic we can move on. Mike rose the bar so high for himself after last year. How could he meet those standards to start the season? He couldn't. He got a D-. There is not much else to say but he sure Arnassoned the first half of the season. 

How did he raise his final grade to a B+ you ask? Well two causes. First, he created the canvas for the greatest thread in MHH history. Just brilliant. Applause all around. Note: notice Joe's absence. Second, this morning he raised his score from a B to a B+ with this. It was pretty funny and deserves some credit. Want to know why he's not getting an A like Sandie? Well our own politifact, i.e. MHH truth police, Bob pointed out that Mike did not add the Avalanche to his favorite teams. As of this morning that's changed; surprise surprise. Too late Mike. 

DISCLAIMER: I think Bob found that out, but it might have been Joe. I don't particularly care to check because the end result is that Mike became a fan of the Avalanche on May 23rd, 2011. 

The Mike@MHH Drinking Game: Drink whenever Mike posts sequential comments where the first is calm and the second is from the Hulk. Speaking of which, maybe Mike's alter-ego here is AvaHulk. Interesting. Someone check that. Drunk Potential: Lubricated. And angry. Lubricated and angry. Very lubricated and very angry. 

If Mike was a player on the Avalanche:  I would like to give Mike a goalie, but the choices are a calm religious guy, a stoner, a lil' tank, and a guy with an Ice Girl issue. So, he's getting David Koci. When Koci is on the ice he is usually useless and passive. When he get's in fights he usually loses. BUT when he fights weaker smaller sandwiches people, he is one hell of a fighter. 

Outlook for next season: It's hard to say really. We hope he smashes more sandwiches and that might come with a playoff run. If he can get to smashing a bit earlier next season he has a bright year ahead of him.

Annnnnnnd it's time for a poll.  Which clip do you think best embodies that fateful day when Mike punched the Arby's sandwiches? Ignore the part where Mrs ate the sandwich please. 


1) This

2) This

3) This

4) This


Unlike some other people who grade people, I look forward to the future comments. 

Next up: Beachie is a fan community, allowing members to post their own thoughts and opinions on the Colorado Avalanche and hockey in general. These views and thoughts may not be shared by the editors of

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