Internal Memo: Final Grade (Bubs)
Re: Grading Template
Scoring Algorithm: yeah right, I don't even know what an algorithm is. I bet it's what biologist refer to when frogs start singing. Yeah, that's it.
Criteria for consideration and grading: refer to examples if pertinent.
Hatred for Vancouver: A+
Laughs when Vancouver gets scored on: A+. Example.
Hatred for Corsi: A+
EXTREME HATRED FOR CORSI: A+.
Makes fun of Corsiatti at all times: A+. Example. HAHA Nerd palace. Fucking corsi.
Has cupcakes: F (at most possesses the baked kind). Negates getting an A- final grade.
Creates funny catch phrases/nicknames for player: A+. Example.
Has internal arguments with himself: A+. See example below.
Extraordinary skills no other poster has: A+. Ability to post comments before me and DDC in the morning when he's two time zones later. ADDENDUM: Use this post to get him serious help? No, too lazy.
Makes fun of DDC: A+. (Edit: only DDC doesn't make fun of DDC)
Lack of hyphens in name: A+. Extra bonus points for a complete refusal to acknowledge the existence of spaces as well.
Defends douchebags: F. (defended B-Rey). Example. (Edit: this came from Bob. Do we trust Bob? Research may be needed). UPDATE: Bob is reporting Bubs also defended Dater. Shut up Bob.
Agrees with me on Budaj: A+
Agrees with me on the importance of a goalie: A+
Agrees with me on the make up of the team: A+
Agrees with me on basically everything: A+
Upon posting a comment, inevitably the song We Want The Funk is stuck in my head for days: A+
DRAFT: FINAL GRADE:
SlamDunkTheFunk A.J. Hefelafaffle
Request picture: magical elves make a picture appear.
This report card is a joint effort by Me and all the commenters below. See, see how I give credit to the wonderful and brilliant commenters on every post who make the blog and its posts as good as they are. Jerks.
Final Grade: A+
Preseason Grade: A+
Midseason Grade: A+
Last Year: Make up some grade last year as if you had been planning these posts for longer than two weeks ago.
Fake some modicum of care about when SDTF started.
Career Highlights: Refer to examples above. Laugh at Nerd Palace again.
MHH Nicknames: Refer to the panel on left side of blog, no need to do any extra research yourself.
Report: Explain Grade. Make fun of DDC. Call Mike angry. Bind Joe to promises he never agreed to. Refer to Beachie's/Sandie's porn addiction.
If Bubs was a player on the Avalanche: Fuck me, why did I start this. Um, what about giving a few choices and having the readers decide? Too much work. Let's see. Bubs isn't ALWAYS around, but when he comes to play he comes in some sort of sleep deprived, euphoric, gaming haze that appears fueled by adderol and speed. Ahh, When Ryan Wilson comes to hit, he demolishes people. Thats what Bubs does to the blog.
Outlook for next season: Do the Red Wings suck?
Unlike some other people who grade people, I look forward to the future comments
Next up: Itinerary complete in order to finish DDC's final grade. Make sure stun gun is packed for the trip.