Someone do the picture thing. But for the love of god do not choose that ball pit picture. It's so creepy he hangs out in McDonald's play pits after school. I guess NAMBLA meetings are later in the day.
This report card is a joint effort by Me and all the commenters below. See, see how I give credit to the wonderful and brilliant commenters on every post who make the blog and its posts as good as they are. Jerks.
Final Grade: A
Midseason Grade: B+
Last Year: A-
David joined MHH in 2008. Sometime after that he managed to kick Mike out of all power and absconded with Joe's authority. He left Joe the ban hammer though. But, even after seizing power I am sure David would never overuse it or anything; especially not when it comes to hiring other writers.
David had another blog. It was called ITC, or Itching the Coccyx. It dealt with numbers or charts or spreadsheets; I dunno something nerdy. I am sure Hawerchuk touched himself while reading it. But no, it was a good blog because without knowing line combinations there is no other way to analyze a hockey game at all.
MHH Nicknames: Most commonly DDC. But also *deep breath*: Draft Dodger, Red Wing Dave, Detroit Dave, David Drisclol, The Hyphen, Red Wing Drafter, David "Pave me over Pavel" Driscoll, David "Please Zetter my Berg" Carignan. You get the idea.
Career Highlights: DDC has done way too much to really analyze so I think we can best sum it up by noting the highlight of his whole life, not just his MHH career. To recall that event I bring in Randy, Bob, and Dixomatic who relived the event on May 19th 2011:
DDC: "This made me lol"
Randy: "DDC’s reaction to a picture of Pavel Datsyuk naked."
Bob: "He can sure dangle."
Dixomatic: "That explains why when DDC lost his virginity, Datsyuk was credited with a takeaway."
I do not know when Datsyuk made the steal of a lifetime, but I can promise he learned it from no one.
Report: DDC and I share the fact that we live in New England. So I thought, out of professional courtesy and friendship, I would take a trip up to Connecticut's violent brother (New Hampshire) and get a full view of DDC's life. That way, I could fully grade DDC. Come along with me.
I first got in my car and headed off. I made sure I hired a driver just in case. Fortunately for me, someone came up with the creepy MHH google map so I knew the exact town to which to drive: Keene, NH.
I was excited to think that he lived in a town named after Mike Keane, I mean he was an Avs. I was mistaken the minute I drove into the center of town because a mob was coming towards me. I told Brian Elliot to run and park somewhere: Damn! no luck. We drove around until we found a bar. We needed a drink after that harrowing event. When I entered, I understood what Keene was like.
I had enough, so I headed to DDC's house. I was only vaguely sure where he lived but then a smell hit my nose. It smelled like rotting fish and excrement; that's it, that's the smell. I was on the right street.
I thought finding his house would be hard. It wasn't. I parked next to his car: nice ride! I went to knock on the door but I could see through the window. He looked so comfortable on the couch sifting through what appeared to be journalism resumes. Not sure what that was about but he seemed to be shredding all the males ones, weird.
I thought I had seen enough. I think I had a good impression of DDC to write his report.
DDC had a very good year. MHH was overworked and had too many members. David was up to the challenge. Instead of doing all the hard work himelf, he searched for people who had real journalistic aspirations. His requirement was only that the person loves the Avalanche. In the end he added a good diverse group of staff writers (NSFW?). To his credit, he kept strict guidelines while maintaining that the writers to felt
The end result was the addition of 57 new and
female intelligent staff writers so DDC could get back to playing in ball pits.
Some people may think that because Dave only drafts Red Wings he is not an Avalanche fan. Their wrong. People make say horrible things behind his back. Those comments are unwarranted. Some people think that by adding 189 new staff writers that he did a good job. It doesn't matter. His crowing glory was being an open and accepting
dictator moderator who listened to the masses and moved the Pre-Game Threads to 9 am. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS because he did that; he succumbed to pressure, he rolled over in the face of adversity, and he cow-towed to moderate complaining. Without that effort, how would I, Chia, DDC and Heffawaffle talk about hockey before the rest of you lazy assholes wake up.
He did a bunch of other stuff too like articles and images on the side that included numbers and things. If only we knew which players played on a line then maybe we could talk about hockey.
In all seriousness, without DDC this blog does not continue and we all should thank him over and over again; he really does more than anyone could ask. He keeps it going and, though he takes about as much shit as everyone except Bob, we owe him more than we can say.
If Dave was a player on the Avalanche: He would be Stan Kroenke. He controls everything and has the final say. We wanted more staff writers, he gave us an additional 651 of them. We wanted nerdy number images on the side of the site, he gave us clipart. We wanted more articles on which to comment, he trolled the streets until he found a bunch of girls to do research. Who can ask for more?
Outlook for next season: Well it's not so much as an outlook for him as it is his outlook for us. What does he have in store? Will he sign us a goalie? Will he change the way we do game day thread images? Will he tell us WHO PLAYS ON WHAT FUCKING LINE? Will he allow us to repeatedly call him mean names? Will he snap? Will he draft more Red Wings? Will he take the plunge and draft Bertuzzi? Will he allow me to ask this many question?
Everything is up to him...
Unlike some other people who grade people, I look forward to the future comments.
Next up: Free Agency