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Worse Defense - Edmonton or Colorado? You Make The Call Because If Your Team Wins An Arbitrary Fan Poll, Then You Don't Have To Realize Your Team Sucks

Unmitigated Disaster had a good idea and I will do it. But, instead of mocking every word from the absurdly misguided, bizarrely inaccurate, and wildly spurious article from the summer, I will just take one quote and use that as a starting point. I also won't criticize Derek Zona's grammar because that would petty. I am not petty.

"General Manager Greg Sherman is doing his best to build a similarly bad defense 1,000 miles to the south in Colorado"

You know what? He is building a similarly bad defense if the barometer for "bad" is being ranked lower than 16th in Goals Against. If that's true, then they Avs have a bad defense because they are ranked 17th. God, Sherman, you suck.

Star-divide

Now let's take a look at some moronic and asinine charts of the defensive sides and point out how wrong they are.

Left Defense
Ryan Whitney Jan Hejda
Ladislav Smid Ryan Wilson
Theo Peckham Kyle Cumiskey


7.325
4.525

I assume Edmonton still has that left side because I am putting as much actual research into this as Copper n' Blue did for theirs. But look at how wrong it is for the Avs seeing as Cumiskey was never in the lineup and was traded for the equivalent of a pair of socks. And the right side:

Right Defense
Tom Gilbert Erik Johnson
Jeff Petry Kyle Quincey
Cam Barker Ryan O'Byrne


7.25
7.525

This is wrong again. Who would have thought that the hallowed blog could make a mistake? Also, let's judge everything based on salary. That way we can laugh at how teams are in cap trouble and everyone knows all that matters is the cap hit. Or, or, we could look at actual stats and see how they fare.

GA/G: Edmonton: 2.81, Colorado: 2.82. JESUS CHRIST THEY BLOW THE AVS OUT OF THE WATER. My lord Sherman has built a horrible defensive core. Also, and I am genuinely unsure how this factors in, but the Avs have let in 8 empty net goals to Edmonton's 0. Edmonton SWEEPS the Goals Against per Game category by such a large margin it's laughable. Let's all laugh. LAUGH NOW!

Points by Defensemen: Edmonton: 59, Colorado: 91. That's not good. That's the Avs having a more productive defense. But wait, when you compare the defense of two teams, do you factor in offensive output? I mean, why would you when all that defenseman should do is stop goals from going in, not put them in themselves. Oh well. I guess that concept is too are beyond my hockey intelligence.

Rookie Points by Defensemen: Edmonton: 2, Colorado: 9. The purpose of this stat is really only to say that the Avs have a stud prospect on defense and Edmonton does not. Although, Elliott needs to pick it up or he's going back to LE when O'Brien gets healthy.

Total Games Suspended by Defensemen. Colorado: 0, Andy Sutton: 5 billion. He's a douchebag. I'm an expert.

Should we all take a poll now because, if you do a poll on a fan blog, the results of the poll are a complete and total picture of real life and can guarantee that everything plays out exactly like the results in a fan poll on a fan blog.

P.S. The Avs also were told they have a worst defense than Columbus. Columbus isn't averaging 3.29 goals against or anything. Those CnB voters were dead on.

P.P.S. My favorite part about that article was when Busted Twigg and thedoctor went over nicely to tell them that their facts were wrong regarding the players. Yet, no one even responded to them in a comment nor was a change made. Top notch.

MileHighHockey.com is a fan community, allowing members to post their own thoughts and opinions on the Colorado Avalanche and hockey in general. These views and thoughts may not be shared by the editors of MileHighHockey.com.

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