This has been a long time coming, but I finally have a bit of time to get it put together. Let's just call this a rough draft - if you have anything else to add/edit, just stick it in the comments.
Not all of us are unfortunate, doomed, cursed, or masochistic enough to live in Detroit, so when we do get scammed into attending a game through an illegal pyramid scheme, the questions of "how do I come out alive", "will I need to hunt for my own food", "will I get an STD just from breatHing" often come up. There have been a number of posts on this site dedicated to just that, so I've decided to take some of the common suggestions and put them all in one spot.
Detroit is a cesspool that would have terrified Dante and make Milton look like a children's book author . Just. Don't. Go.