the man looks and sounds like an antagonist character dreamed up by Tim Burton and crafted by Jim Hensons' workshop.

the man looks like he creeps into villages at night to steal children, then takes them back to the hills and eats them.

the man looks like his mother was a jackal and his father was Satan himself. only, alot less cooler than his father.

the man looks like he has hooves for feet and a cashew for a penis. he plays a fife and dances around a fire of burning HRR.

the man clubs baby seals, and loves it. or at least he seems like the kinda guys who does.

the man seems like the kid who got swirlies and purplenurples from the jocks when he went to school. all growed up, now its his turn to get even on said jocks.

he wipes his greedy little asshole with 50 dollar bills and is advocating for a group who wipe themselves with 100's, speaking into a camera that broadcasts his serpent-like face to people who dont give a fuck just so long as there's hockey.

Bettman, you got your way last time. what do you call someone who throws a tantrum and takes his ball and goes home when they dont get their way everytime? a spoiled little brat. the other day at king soopers i saw a kid with a gigantic lolipop in his hand, screaming at his mommy and daddy to buy him an even bigger lolipop. with tears streaming down his face and dripping onto his perfectly good, still enormous, yet slightly smaller loli. i thought, <em>Jesus, what a little Bettman...</em>

as a matter of fact, i blame gary's parents for his behavior.

thanks alot Mr & Mrs Bettman. youve managed to raise quite an outstanding little villain. now hurry, youre keeping Hitler's parents waiting. theyre expecting you over for a fondue dinner in hell.