Since this is a hockey blog for the FANS, and it clearly doesn't matter to the NHL if we get to enjoy, discuss, banter about, and take in the great sport of hockey under their colors, I have decided to indulge you with my top 5 favorite breakfast foods instead. Unlike NHL hockey, breakfast foods are always there for you, and can be enjoyed whenever you want!
kjhkdthggssjsdkjhg... Excuse me, had to wipe the drool of my keyboard. Bacon stands alone, as the sizzling, crunchy king of the breakfast kingdom. Everybody has a little Ron Swanson in them, and therefore should put a little bacon in them whenever possible. It's common practice to wrap other foods in bacon, and cook other foods in bacon grease, because bacon is the suit and tie of the food kingdom. Keeps things classy.
Eggs are great because they are versatile, easy to cook, nutritious and delicious. As an added bonus they make eggsellent projectiles to throw at homes or vehicles (oh i dunno, say Garry Bettman's). I love omelettes with some gooey cheese, and bell peppers... or some nice scrambled eggs in a burrito with green chile, ham, gooey cheese and potatoes.... or a fried egg on a breakfast sandwich, with BACON, and gooey cheese. What's the difference between eggs/gooey cheese and the NHLPA/owners?... Uhh, I dunno, you tell me.
3. FRENCH TOAST
via Walter Ezell
Why do I like French Toast? Because it makes my mouth so happy. Delicious berries, powdered sugar, and maple syrup go hand-in-hand with french toast, and give me a sugar rush that puts me into a state of jovial bliss. And after about 15-30 minutes the carbs from the french toast and the sugar crash render me immobile and worthless. What more do you want from a meal?! Also, notice how BACON snuck into this picture.
4. HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS
I had to think if I really wanted to put a cereal into my top 5 breakfast foods, but then I realized I eat cereal all of the time, and this is my favorite of the bunch. See what I did there. Honey Bunches of Oats are fantastic. If you haven't tried them, DO IT! If you don't like them, maybe your kids will evolve and and have a more fortunate taste palette than you.
Ahhhhhh yeahhhhh. Refreshing, sweet, delicious juice. If juice were a drug and I were a celebrity, I would be the tabloid's number 1 star! Since I was a little kid, I have always loved juice, and nothing compliments my favorite meal of the day like a tall cool glass.
So there ya have it. My top 5 breakfast foods. Breakfast foods never forget their place, and don't care how much they cost. They are there to please and nourish their fans and consumers. That's why they exist. If they ever forgot it the chain of life would be broken, and BACON would develop brains and rise up to rule the world. The NHL could learn a thing or two from breakfast foods. Because the fans are what make the NHL. They say it's a business, but it's a customer service business. Without us their "business" doesn't exist. It's a shame that something so pure and magical to me as a young boy, has turned into something as frustrating and corrupt as the rest of the world.
I am going to make a pledge. If the NHL locks out, I will veto attending games for 1 calendar year. One of my favorite things is going to Avalanche games, but hell. If I'm not worth it to the NHL, I'm not paying to go to their games. I'll go to DU games, or CC games, or maybe even check out the Cutthroats. I'll probably still watch the Avs on TV, because I just can't help myself. Whether I'm watching or not, when the Avs play, I'm gonna cook myself up some breakfast!