If you ask ten different hockey fans the value of using advanced statistics to describe the game, you might get ten very different answers. There are some who swear by them, some who don't think they mean much, some who don't understand them, and a few who just don't give a damn. One of my favorite things to do is to take a complicated issue, and try and break it down into a simple analogy. After spending some time brushing up my knowledge on advanced hockey stats, I realized that these metrics can easily be applied to the art of picking up chicks at the bar! Impossible says you. Of Corsi not says I!

The most common advanced hockey stat is Corsi, which describes the ratio of shots directed at the opponents net compared to the number of shots directed at one's own net at even strength. To the bar we go! Corsi essentially describes the ability to locate and approach potential candidates. A "player" with a high Corsi rating is able to talk to a large quantity of girls throughout the night. However, it's a dog eat dog world out there. There is a good chance you might get cock blocked, which is where Fenwick comes in. Fenwick is very similar to Corsi, except that Fenwick does not count blocked shots. Sliding in front of another dude, and shutting down his attempt to score can be considered a skill, and therefore shots that get blocked should not be used in the opinion of some. Offensive Zone Start % describes how drunk the girls are. Quality of Competition can also be measured and accounted for when analyzing advanced stats. Large amounts of douchebags with popped collars can make it tricky to get in position for a quality scoring chance.

Ultimately though, advanced stats are limited to describing a player's potential to score. As a team, you want to talk to as many girls as possible throughout the night. Having a high Corsi rating means your odds of scoring are probably higher. At the end of the night though, you still need finishers to put the puck in the net. Having a great wingman, dirty backhand, or uncanny knack for finding the five-hole are skills that advanced stats do not encompass. Oh and Greg Zanon... that beard ain't helpin anyone score...