Well... to tell the truth I'm really not sure how to please the audience, but I'm also not looking for any accolades, and I could give fucks if "you" don't dig the transcribed hereafter. So, I welcome you into the split-head; please, don't be alarmed by all the grey, I ensure that what I have to say is anything but dull.
I am currently pondering a predicament that has to do with a legitimate cup run. First of all, it is no secret that the Avs have a bevy of offensive talent. I believe this has been accumulated over the years of shitty attempts at being an elite team. Thus, we get draft picks, and with these picks we have "bought" great offensive players. Although, the acquisition of Nathan Mackinnon provides a bit of a predicament, especially in regards to his production so far this year. Let's see, he is only 6 points behind Dutchy for the lead in an Avalanche sweater, and he leads the team in goals, already... So, should it not be said that we have an offensive asset to deal to the would be suitor?
Don't be alarmed, I am not talking about sending Napoleon Dynamite on his way, (Mackinnon sounds like Dynamite, keep that in mind next time you hear his interview). Nonetheless, this also provides a conundrum. We need a defenseman, not only for a possible run this year, but to solidify the next three years, which are quite honestly our best hopes at hoisting Mr. Stanley's Cup. So, let's consider the trade bait. We could hook Parenteau to a lure, or Stastny, or John Mitchell, and there are others of course, but we need a nice return so that we can have that defensemen we want. Nonetheless, Mackinnon doesn't belong on any other lines than those which provide top-two minutes. This kid is going to dominate the league for years to come, he's Steven Stamkos, with play-making ability, and he can play any position.
On a side not, this means trading for an already defined d-man, so that we don't have to develop someone; especially, while we would lack the offense to balance the attack if we traded a big asset. EJ's got the swing ability, and so does Barrie. Hejda's not bad for lock-down ability, but he's getting old. So, while we look in the Colorado Reserve Bank for young men to come up and fill the void, we need a stay at home big man to ruffle the pristine feathers of stars who try and disrupt our corner. Montreal's been in the wings since the start of the season, but are we gonna grab Markov? I fucking hope not. Do we have to go young? Nope, although that's where it's at for a lock-down d-man to last, obviously. We need someone who can swing the assists, while being responsible in his own zone, and he better be good because in my mind we have to give up Stastny for him.
Yes, Stastny is Mr. Colorado, and Mr. Nordiques/Avalanche, but a team has got to be willing to give up a good asset in an attempt to define the future. Anyway, O'Reilly is a better two-way player than Stastny, if not the best in the league. Oh? are you sad? Then sack up because the future is Mackinnon on the first line role, and Duchy on the second. MACK is bread to dominate this league, he is strong offensively and defensively, while Duchy is only alright two-way, evident by his -5 against the Rangers, along with other games this year.
The Avalanche can't be naive, we drafted one of the premier players in the league ever this year, and the man needs space to roam. So, we lock down the young forwards, Duchy and Landeskog already under contract, plus Mackinnon for cheap because of the entry-level. Then, you trade Parenteau and Stastny while locking up another winger to replace McGinn on the top line, and notching up the back end with the Stastny trade.
This team is poised to make a run this year, if we can lock up the back end with a Stastny trade. And, if we can then get a prospect winger with a Parenteau trade, we'll be set for a run at the greatest trophy in sports. Top line: Landeskog, Mackinnon, and Tanguay. Second line: Factor, Duchy, and wing prospect from Parenteau trade, or Fatty. Then, dish 'em out from there as your fancy tickles.
Ultimately, I'm writing this because I want to hear your opinions, but I also want to hear disagreements. I'm no expert, just a sports lover, and most certainly a die-hard Avalanche promoter. Fuck the rest, meaning fuck the big shot writers, fuck the socially constructed newspapers, and fuck the biased opinions because they're worst of all. Who are you to say that my writing doesn't fit your criteria? Adrian!! Adrian!! Oh Rocky, your roam to the top - hands in adoration to the sky - deserves much more than Daterism. Yes, Dater that is a slight to your half assed attempts at chronicling the endeavors of the Avalanche players. You can go Jim Furyk yourself off in cryogen, you dilapidated figure of your own failed opinions. Too strong? Well, I'm sure Arnold once wondered the same thing, and then he became a governor, so?
Anyway, thank you kindly, all. I love hockey, and let's go Avs, don't let Putin keep you home Varly, we need you...
Slap the defiant home to their abodes filled with strong women. Stop trying to wear the pants in public because you can't escape the dismantling at home, heehoo let's go women's Olympic hockey, showing 'em how it's done.
Thanks for your time,
- Ross Sellers