Below is a list of the most common, lasting nicknames for Avalanche players. Most were coined by Mile High Hockey authors and members, but a few others had outside origins. See also
Andy: Former Avalanche net minder Craig Anderson. This is the nickname he actually goes by, and it has appeared on his mask. There's been an effort to go to the Matrix well with either Mr Anderson or Neo, but that movement has yet to get a full head of steam.
Absolute Duchene: During the All Star festivities in 2011, Duchene was overheard talking about an over-consumption of Vodka.
The Baron: Former Avalanche player Wojtek Wolski. The full nickname is "Baron von Wolski," and was coined in this thread after several MHH members tried to determine the most noble of all Avalanche players. Originally suggested for Paul Stastny, it was later attached to Wolski because that "would be even funnier." It stuck. Further clarification can be found here.
BMF: Another former Avalanche player. It is unclear who first called Kyle Quincey "Bad Mother Fucker", but I'm guessing it stems back to the first few weeks as an Avalanche. You know, back when he actually played like one. Sometimes he is also called BAMF "Bad Ass Mother Fucker".
Brewski: Kevin Porter.
Bordello of Blood: Patrick Bordeleau
Boy Wonder: Matt Duchene. Other proposed nicknames include Doogie and Doctor (plays on his M.D. initials), but those have been vetoed by MHH member consensus.
Cameron Awesome: Cameron Gaunce, we can thank SlamDunkTheFunk for this one.
Chris Goddamn Stewart: Well, he is, or was. He is no longer on the Avalanche. You may also see it as CGS for short. But it sounds better if you type the whole goddamn thing out. For further reading, check out this elaborate website.
Doctor Jones: David Jones.
Donut Line: Could refer to any offensive line with a weak or ineffective center ("a hole in the middle"), but a commenter at Dater's All Things Avs blog coined it specifically in honor of a line centered by Tyler Arnason. Referenced here.
The Duke: Milan Hejduk. This nickname has been floating around for years among Avalanche fans and is just a simple play on the pronunciation of Hejduk's last name.
Dutchie (Dutchy): Matt Duchene. This is what his Avalanche teammates call him. As it is extremely lame, it has not been adopted by the cool folks at MHH.
Dwight Schrute: On the day Greg Sherman was promoted to Avalanche GM, his online biography actually included the phrase "Assistant to the General Manager" before someone had to go and change it. Plus, he's from Scranton, making it tough to pass up the chance for us to work in an awesome Office reference.
EJ or Edge: Erik Johnson, the first one seems the easiest and the latter is one of his actual nicknames.
Enos/ Eno$- Stan Kroenke
Factor: Ryan O`Reilly. This is his official name given by his teammates.
Ferris: Mueller? Mueller? Mueller? If we need to explain it any further, you are far too young to be using the internet.
Flash: Tomas Fleischmann, it is a name carried over from Jasper's Rink, he is now a Florida Panther.
Footer: Adam Foote,
Galardicus - T.J. Galiardi. Earned during his warrior-like performance in the 2010 playoffs against San Jose.
Greg from Acounting: Greg Sherman, he used to be an accountant.
Hensiiick/Hensuck: Former Avalanche prospect T.J. Hensick. When he played well, MHH members used the former (first used here). When he wasn't playing well or sitting in the press box (far more common), they used the latter (encouraged primarily by member Hopfenkopf).
The Hobbit: Scott Hannan. With his flowing mullet, Hannan bears a striking resemblence to a hobbit from the Lord of the Rings movies. The earliest known use of the nickname was by member Rookie14 here.
Hot Pocket: John-Michael Liles. MHH member BeachNSnowGirl (aka "Beachie") has had a long-time crush on Liles, and in this thread made a highly suggestive offer to the defenseman. The nickname---and her lust for him---has not faded with time, hence the alternative Liles nickname Beachie's Boyfriend. Other nicknames include the longer Johnny Hot Pocket and Male Model.
Jiggy: Jean-Sebastien Giguere
Kobasuck/ Kobario : Chuck Kobasew
Landy/Lando: Gabriel Landeskog.
Leoprone: Former Avalanche defenseman Jordan Leopold. In 2006-07, his first season with Colorado, Leopold played only 15 games due to serious injuries. The next year he missed 39 games with more injuries. Member Dario coined the Leoprone nickname in this reply to a post dedicated to creating a fitting nickname for Leopold. A poll was conducted and the nickname was made official here.
Mouthpiece: Brett Clark is nicknamed The Mouthpiece due to his annoying habit of constantly chewing on the bloody thing.
O'B Wan: Ryan O`Byrne, yep all because of his name. There is a fantastic photoshop of him made by Andidee in here. Sometimes he is also reffered to as O'Byrninator.
Old Man Foote: Adam Foote in his last season.
Olde Yeller: The beloved Stephane Yelle. The old-English "e" is required.
Olvertine: Mark Olver
ORLY: One of two solid nicknames for Ryan O'Reilly (see also "Radar"). This one comes from that ORLY owl internet meme that wasn't completely overused a few years back.
Phadouche: The MHH pet name for
Flames Maple Leafs defenseman and major asshole Dion Phaneuf. His drink of choice is Doucherade, which is officially endorsed by both him and Steve Ott. The first official use of Phadouche was in this game thread.
Pimp Cane: Former Avalanche goalie Jose Theodore. Coined in response to this photo that appeared in the now-defunct Rocky Mountain News, linked first in this comment by member Mike (Avs Fan). The Pimp Cane moniker became a term of endearment during the 2008 first-round playoff series against the Minnesota Wild, in which Theodore played like a total badass and the Avs won four games to two.
Radar: Ryan O'Reilly. The nickname is an homage to the youthful, nerdy MASH character Radar O'Reilly. Had player O'Reilly's first name not started with the letter R, the nickname (attached by David Driscoll-Carignan here) never would have stuck.
Red Wing Dave: MHH managing editor David Driscoll-Carignan, because he picks Red Wings players to fill his fantasy hockey rosters like some kind of dirty traitor.
Road Runner: Kyle Cumiskey. His ridiculous speed on the ice has sparked other nicknames, including Wheels, but Road Runner (coined in this thread) seems to be catching on. When Cumiskey makes a good play or scores a goal, "Meep, Meep" seems to be the appropriate comment to make.
ROB: Ryan O'Byrne, self explanatory
Royalty Line: The frequent combination of Wojtek Wolski, Paul Stastny and Milan Hejduk on the top line during the 2009-10 season. All three are considered to be royalty based on their nicknames (The Baron, Son of Stastny and The Duke). The line name was initially proposed by Americanario during the previous season for the combination of Wolski, Hejduk and Ryan Smyth, but Smyth's lack of royalty-related nickname kept it from sticking. It wasn't until later that it stuck, courtesy of member c6hor8.
RPM Line: While Ryan Smyth was still with the Colorado Avalanche, he frequently appeared on a successful line with Paul Stastny and Milan Hejduk. Ryan, Paul, Milan = RPM. Get it? The line's potency and ability to overpower opposing players made the name all the more fitting. The name was first suggested here and later made official here.
Rusty: Ruslan Salei.
Saint Patrick: Patrick Roy, so named for his heavenly puck-stopping abilities, though not for his fiery personality. This nickname predates Mile High Hockey (as does Roy's entire career), but gained so much traction that the Avalanche even put out official merchandise featuring the moniker. Also common: Brick Roy, a play on the French pronunciation ("Wah") of his last name.
ShamWow: Former Avalanche player Darcy Tucker. During the 2008-09 season, Tucker sucked tremendously. What else sucks tremendously? The ShamWow towel/sponge as made famous by Offer "Vince" Shlomi in this commercial. The meme began in this thread with this picture created by member Americanario.
Sherminator: Greg Sherman
Silent Jay: Jay McClement.
Slap Chop: Also Darcy Tucker. During the 2009-10 season, Tucker sucked far less frequently than the previous year. In fact, he was periodically awesome (when not injured). What else is awesome? The Slap Chop chopper also made famous by Vince in this commercial. You're gonna love my nuts.
Snatch: This is also Ryan O'Byrne, to get the full story of how it started you can go here. Ryan got into a bit of trouble during a rookie night when he, allegedly, stole a women's purse to protect a teammate. The lady had compromising pictures of his teammate of her cellphone and ROB was trying to delete the images.
SOB: Shane O`Brien
Son of Stastny: Paul Stastny. Paul is the son of former Quebec Nordiques superstar and Hall of Fame player Peter Stastny. Also appears as SoS for short.
Square Peg: Jay McClement, as coined by the Avalanche beat writer Adrian Dater.
Stats/ Stazz : Paul Stastny.
SUXXORS: Mostly used for Peter Budaj to poke fun at all the Budaj haters out there, but it's also been used for Duchene and Stastny. It might be sarcasm.
Super Joe: A popular, widely-used nickname for legendary Avalanche captain Joe Sakic.
Skipper Joe: A play on the Super Joe nickname applied to head coach Joe Sacco. To date, it's only been used by DDC, but he's not giving up.
Svats: Former Avalanche player and flash-in-the-pan Marek Svatos. Also, Svats Machine.
Thing 1 and Thing 2: Kyle Quincey and Kyle Cumiskey
Varly: Semyon Varlamov
Yippers: Let's call this a placeholder until we come up with something better for Brandon Yip