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Slow News Day = YouTubery

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Things have been going pretty well over the last few games, and, despite the lingering absences of the Three Esses, there's not really much to complain about.  

To supplement the lack of interesting Avalanche-related news, I've decided to share with you one of my favorite pastimes: reading the comments posted to videos on YouTube.  There is no other repository of human knowledge and creativity more vast or diverse.

For example, take this video clip of Bob Probert's ridiculous cheap shot on Peter Forsberg, which resulted in a courageous (if out-matched) Adam Foote response and a game misconduct:

Pretty straightforward.  But what makes the video really worthwhile are the comments posted to it.  For example, one genius (probably a Wings fan or one of the two Blackhawks diehards left in Chicago) has this to say about Foppa:

May be "hard as rock"but is a china doll.
How many games he missed the last ten years?He's a pussy who lost his only fight ever....to Larionov!
Embellished the punch from Probert.
Time to get real dude.

Which elicited this eloquent response:

His injuries has nothing to do with him being a pussy. His injuries comes from brutally hits from behind and so on. I really dont think u should call him a pussy, he fucking dominated the league when he was in full shape. So I really cant see any substance in your "point". Hockey isnt about dealing the hardest hits och throwing the hardest punch, think you got the wrong picture there dude.

Note the subtle, poetic elegance of the sentence, "His injuries comes from brutally hits from behind and so on."  Mesmerizing in both its depth and clarity.

Another commenter took issue with criticism of Forsberg, and added this:

Wtf are you on about? He is a pussy because he cannot throw his fists around? He let's his hits speak for themself. I don't think you are a cool or tough guy because you fight and wrestles on the ice like fucking babies. You're tough if you can take a hit (like Forsberg) and deliver hits (like Forsberg). You retarded americans have a weird perspective on "toughness".

I think we can all appreciate the combination of both an inappropriate possessive ("let's") with the jingoistic attack on United States citizens ("You retarded americans").  Well played, sir, well played.

The real diamond in the rough, however, is this gem of a comment:

Forsburg and all the avalanch suck so much dick, fuck them all...Go wings, probert fuckin rules

 

Note the duel dual(!) misspellings of both Forsberg and the Avalanche, followed by the comeback-proof insinuation that homosexual fellatio is a sign of weakness and the affirmation that something in opposition to it "fuckin rules."  Excuse me, sir, while I pick up my face, for your expert word-crafting has thoroughly removed it from my head.

There is one comment, however, that perfectly captures the spirit of the video clip.  It combines a well-known fact with a recent pop culture reference.  No other comment more precisely captures both the essence of the video and the comments thread in one simple sentence:

cocaine is a hell of a drug

 

Indeed it is.