clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Don't Talk About My Momma!

Scott Cruickshank of the Canwest News Service posted an interesting piece yesterday about a new breed of pests in the NHL.  You know, guys like Sean Avery and Alex Burrows.  Young, motormouth assholes who exist only to anger and frustrate opposing players.

The reason this article was of interest to me is that Cruickshank interviewed both Ian Laperriere and Scott Parker, and they both had great things to say.  Says Lappy about the newest breed of young shit talkers:

"It comes with experience -- you think you're going to get away with stuff like that, like you do in junior," says Laperriere. "But here? These guys are men. You can't do that for a long time. If you want to have a short career? Go ahead, be my guest. But if you want to stick around, you've got to quiet down."

Asked who's talking trash nowadays, and he doesn't hesitate.

"Alex Burrows in Vancouver," says Laperriere. "He's the guy who will have the last word. But it's his second year in the NHL and at one point . . ."

He finishes with a knowing nod.

Nice.  Burrows is in fact a tool bag of epic proportions, and watching him get rocked in the game the other night was great.  

The best quote by far, though, belongs to The Sheriff.  When asked what should be "off limits" to the yappers, Parker says:

"I don't want somebody talking about my mom," says a dead-serious Scott Parker, the veteran Colorado Avalanche winger. "I'm not going to go there about somebody else's, either. So there's a respect factor. If guys cross that line . . . there is a time and a place for everything. When that times arises, we do what we do."

When Parker is dead serious, somebody else is just dead.  Keep that in mind, Burrows.

The article ends with a list of the top 13 annoying young jerks in the NHL:

1 Sean Avery, Rangers -- Undisputed king of potty-mouthed noise.
2 Alex Burrows, Canucks -- Loud patter a point of pride for chirping checker.
3 Steve Ott, Stars -- Pepperpot drives opponents batty with non-stop barbs.
4 Jared Boll, Blue Jackets -- Freshman fighting plenty, talking even more.
5 Zach Stortini, Oilers -- Makes up for lack of originality with loud repetition.
6 Corey Perry, Ducks -- Adds sneaky antics to sharp tongue.
7 Ryan Kesler, Canucks -- Speaks up when linemate Burrows takes a breath.
8 Dion Phaneuf, Flames -- "Does he ever stop talking?" wondered one player.
9 Jordin Tootoo, Predators -- Battering before the whistle; chattering after it.
10 Jarkko Ruutu, Penguins -- Knows which buttons to push. Ask Chris Simon.
11 Darcy Tucker, Maple Leafs -- Older, slower, but still relishes cracking wise.
12 Matt Cooke, Capitals -- Western Conference happy to see his lip move eastward.
13 Steve Downie, Flyers -- Brash newcomer sporting rowdy reputation already.

I'm glad to see Phadouche made the list, along with Tutu and Ott To Know Better.  See, I have clever nicknames for all the players I hate.  I'm could totally get an NHL contract with this smart mouth of mine ... ladies.