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I hate them

It was inevitable. No matter how long the inept league suits stretched out the postseason, this was going to happen eventually: the stupid Red Wings won the Stanley Cup. Again.

Oh, how I hate them. I hate their cocky fans. I hate the Joe. I hate the stupid octopuses (Octopi? Ocotpussies? Whatever). I hate the Hockeytown moniker. I hate their Original Six status and long sense of tradition. I hate the timeless logo and the classic uniforms. I hate that when someone mentions the number 19, the first guy most people think of is not Joe Sakic.

I hate Chris Chelios and I hate Dominik Hasek. I hate Hasek more because at one point I liked him enough to buy a jersey with his name on it. I hate him even more now because he chose to pack it in this year a round too early. Why couldn't he wait to quit on his team until the 2nd round?

I hate that Datsyuk was a 6th round pick in 1998 (our 6th rounder that year? Alexander Ryazantsev). I hate that Henrik Zetterberg was a 7th rounder the next year. We took Radim Vrbata in the 7th that year which would take off the sting a bit if we hadn't traded him for Bates Fucking Battaglia. Man, I hate that trade.

I hate that Kristen Bell had the hots for Chris Osgood, even if she is a blond. I hate that Osgood is one of the most underrated and under-appreciated goalies of all time - even by his own team - and yet it still worked out for the Wings.

I hate that the Wings had to lop $37 million off their payroll the year after the lockout and still finished first in the Western Conference. The Avalanche dropped $22 million and took 3 years to recover.

I hate that we swallowed our pride for a few weeks this summer to get excited about their assistant coach, only to see our GM promote our own assistant coach.

I hate them because they are so freaking good - from the ice to the front office. They have so many players - Zetterberg, Datsyuk, Lidstrom, Franzen, Holmstrom - that would look GREAT in our ugly-ass Avalanche uniforms. They have a terrific GM, solid coaching staff, an outstanding scouting department and excellent development system. They have had so many great players in recent years, and have had seemingly no problem finding and developing more. We get excited about hitting paydirt with Paul Stastny while hoping that guys like Wojtek Wolski and Marek Svatos will take that next step. They just hop over to Sweden and pluck another prospect off the tree.

The Red Wings are, in my opinion, the best franchise in hockey and have been for some time. In 1991, the Red Wings made the playoffs after finishing 3rd in what was then called the Norris Division (have I mentioned I HATE Gary Bettman for taking the awesome division and conference names away?). Sergei Federov was a 21-year old rookie that year. Steve Yzerman was 25. Tim Cheveldae was the goalie and Bryan Murray was the coach. Since then, the Wings have been 1st or 2nd in the Norris *cough* Central division every year and, of course, have 4 Cups. Not one player from that 1990-1991 team is still playing for them (only two - Fedorov and Mike Sillinger are still playing at all). They've changed all their players and changed their coach (several times)...and they are still a perennial threat to go deep in the playoffs. I hate that. Sure, they've had some postseason disappointment but, on the whole, they've been a big old bona fide Pierre (hate him) McGuire certified MONSTER of a team for what is approaching 20 years.

I hate them because they are better than us. Of all the frigging teams...