The Calgary Flames were embarrassed by the Avalanche last night. We know that. I'm sure the Flames are not proud of their 5 1st-period minor penalties, or the pathetic 21 shots that they mustered during the game, or that they had their ass handed to them by a team with 7 first-year players. I get that.
That doesn't explain the idiotic post-game quotes from Curtis Glencross. Glencross, you may recall, was in the box for high-sticking when the Avalanche scored their first goal. He had six penalty minutes in the opening frame, and, of course, it's not his fault.
"The guy was cut early in the game and it was a one-handed little poke," Glencross said. "I just hit his stick with one hand and it went up and supposedly hit him. The guy was bleeding before. He was bleeding in the first couple of shifts, bleeding from his mouth, and he was whining.
"It's too bad (they) can't be a little more honest players, diving all over the place. It's embarrassing."
Yes, Matt Duchene was bleeding before your little stick went up and "supposedly hit him" (which, actually, looked an awful lot like an attempted decapitation). Clearly, the blood was not there from, you know, a concerted effort by the Flames to mug Duchene at every opportunity. Instead, it was summoned magically in an attempt to sell your little oopsie. And oh, by the way, you seem unsure as to whether you hit him or not, but at least one guy is pretty sure that it was a penalty:
"Sure, it might have been a two-minute penalty, but it sure isn't a four-minute penalty," Glencross said.
Oh, Curtis. Look, make up your mind, butthead. And once you figure out if you hit him or didn't hit him, I have some breaking information for you. When an NHL player is hit in the face with a stick, he checks for blood. If he finds blood, he shows the ref. That's the way it works. Perhaps you can ask your teammate, Mark Giordano, for help with this, as he did the exact same thing later in the game. And here's a helpful hint: if you don't want to get on the hook for 4-minutes...DON'T HIT A GUY IN THE FACE WITH YOUR STICK, especially if you KNOW THE GUY IS ALREADY CUT. It's not rocket science, dumbass.
Lucky for you, the extra two minutes wasn't a factor, as the Avalanche scored just 45 seconds into your penalty. That goal is all on the moron who took a stupid penalty with his team already shorthanded (AKA: you). It was a boneheaded play on your part, and whining about it is a dick move. Please, do us all a favor and shut. the. fuck. up.
Thanks.