Avaholics Anonymous: The 11 step program to recovery

Well folks, the trade deadline is upon us.  The Avs are in a tailspin the likes of which the team has never experienced since moving to Colorado.  The front office is in denial.  The coaching staff looks lifeless.  Our goalies look worse with each passing game.  All is hopeless, right?


No!  Avaholics Anonymous is here with a 12 11 step program for the Avs to break their addiction to sucking, and get this team back on track.  Without further ado, the 11 step program for success!

  1. Fire the entire coaching staff.  Maybe you keep Hackett around, but this is the biggest step for our addicted-to-sucking front office-- admitting there's a problem.  Get Dineen or Burns, or something better out of house.  Just no more in house.
  2. At the deadline, trade Leopold, Svatos, and if you can, Clark.  Leopold and Svatos are decent players, but one-dimensional ones on a team that absolutely must say goodbye to its destructive habits.  Clark, well, he's overpaid and overused.  Try to get a goalie or almost-ready nhl-prospects in return, otherwise draft picks.
  3. Let Arnason and Raycroft go.  Wave goodbye to Joe.  Buy out Tucker since no one will take him in trade or waivers (results in .75m cap hit next 2 seasons, not bad).
  4. Draft the best player available wherever we end up in the draft -- since we appear headed for #3 or 4, this will probably be Duchene or MSP, both probably LWs.
  5. Re-sign Guite, Lappy, Tjarnqvist (as a 7th) and the RFAs (McLeod, McCormick, Jones, Cumiskey, and Budaj).
  6. If we failed to get a real goalie at the deadline, get one now.  Options include Backstrom, Garon, or Biron in UFA, Lehtonen or Leclaire in trade, or even Harding in RFA if Backstrom is re-signed by Minny.  If none of those are available at reasonable rates, think about stopgaps like Fernandez and Khabibulin.
  7. Sign a real 3rd line center.  Pahlsson or Malhotra are good options.  If Clark was traded, sign a serviceable vet to take his place for less than he was making.  Sign a couple other depth guys too, like Willsie this year.
  8. Promote Cumiskey to 6th D and give him a whole year to grow.
  9. Put Hensick as a 2nd line winger, and give him a whole year to prove he belongs.
  10. ???
  11. profit (if you don't get this, watch more freaking South Park, you loser)

See, that's all it would take!  None of these options are remotely far-fetched or difficult.  Believe it guys and gals, we can beat the addiction to sucking!  And fire away in the comments -- I want to hear your plans, critiques, comments too.  Just keep it realistic if possible, no one wants plans to trade for Crosby here.  :) is a fan community, allowing members to post their own thoughts and opinions on the Colorado Avalanche and hockey in general. These views and thoughts may not be shared by the editors of

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