JIM LANGE: Welcome to the Dating Game. I'm your host, Jim Lange. Today we have a classy trio of bachelors and they are all set to demonstrate their prowess between the pipes. Let's not waste any time getting started today, because heeeeeeeeeeeere they are!
[Cue Cheesy Music]
JIM LANGE: Bachelor #1 is an adventurous fellow. He's traveled extensively around North America hitting such hot spots as Chicago, Miami, Rochester and even Guelph, Ontario! He describes himself as an intense man, and is fond of quiet walks around the rink, auto racing, bird watching and even likes to engage in a little diving when he has the chance. Let's give it up for Craaaaaaaig Anderson! Welcome, Craig.
JIM LANGE: Bachelor #2 describes himself as a local gent. He has an interesting collection of rare jewelry that consists of only one item and he says that he never, ever quits. Please say hello to John Grahame. Hi, John!
JIM LANGE: Our third bachelor tonight hails from Europe, but he loves all the comforts of the US of A, like video games and cartoons, things he never had back home. He's a man of strong beliefs and we're looking forward to learning more about him. Please welcome...Peter Budaj!
JIM LANGE: And now that we have our eligible bachelors, it's time to bring out our lovely bachelorette. Tonight's bachelorette hails from Toledo, Ohio and works as an ice girl. She loves dancing, moonlit drives and sports that start with S. Please give it up for Trudy Johnson!
[Cue more cheesy music, Trudy enters from stage right]
JIM: Hi Trudy. Wow, you look dynamite tonight. Are you ready to pick one of these fine bachelors?
TRUDY: I am, Jim!
JIM: Then let's get started!
TRUDY: Bachelor #1. What is your favorite taco filling [dramatic pause] and WHY?
BACHELOR #1. Well, Trudy, that's a great question. Actually, it's the shell. With the defense in front of me, I end up getting shelled a lot, heh heh. [Cue laugh track]
TRUDY: Oooooh, that's so clever! I like you. Okay, bachelor #2. What sort of ice cream are you?
BACHELOR #2: Uh...Rocky Road? Yeah, Rocky Road. No, wait. It's Vanilla. I'm Vanilla.
TRUDY: Interesting. Okay, bachelor #3, what is one article of clothing you neeeever leave for a date without? Hee hee!
BACHELOR #3: Easy. Baseball cap.
TRUDY: Oookay. Back to bachelor #1. Would you say you are any good, um, "between the pipes"?
BACHELOR #1: Oh, I think I'm pretty good. My .913 career save percentage is the best of all these bachelors, as is my 14 shutouts. There are some who might question my stamina, but I can go all season long, darling. Uh, well, as soon as my knee gets better that is.
TRUDY: Oh no, that sounds like you're going to be on the shelf for a little while. I think I'm going to have to go with someone else. Sorry, bachelor #1. So, bachelor #2, why should you be the man to "tame the flame" tonight?
BACHELOR #2: Well, Trudy, I have more wins than either of these guys and just 2 less shutouts than our bald bachelor #1. [Laugh track]
TRUDY: Wow, sounds like you're quite...prolific! How do you keep it up?
BACHELOR #2: Well, I, uh, haven't, uh, actually seen a lot of action lately. In fact, it's been a couple of years. It's not for lack of trying though. Hell, I even went to some place in Russia called Omsk. It didn't really work out though.
TRUDY: I'm sure you'll get back in the saddle someday, bachelor #2, but I'm really looking for someone who has been seeing rubber more recently than that. Bachelor #3, you may be the last guy standing. Can I believe in you?
BACHELOR #3: Absolutely, Trudy. I actually have the best career goals against average of all three bachelors tonight. I may be the youngest, but I'm not as inexperienced as you may think; tonight will be the 200th notch in my belt...if you know what I mean.
TRUDY: Oh, I soooo do, bachelor #3.
JIM LANGE: Well, Trudy, have you made up your mind?
TRUDY: Yes, Jim, I am going to go with bachelor #3. He has a quiet confidence that I like and there's an understated quality that I find simply irresistible. I believe he's a patient man, and I find that to be simply dreamy. I totally believe in Budaj!
JIM LANGE: Well, that's just swell. Bachelor #3, you have won an all expense trip to Calgary, Alberta, where you will tan yourself under the glare of 15,000 red sweaters while you take in the the hot new off-broadway Odd Couple remake called the Iggy and Olli Show! Thanks to all our home watchers and our sponsor, Groove Subaru. Call them to find out how you can get into a groove today!
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