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Attention All NHL Goalies!

Have I got an offer for you! There are now TWO spots open on one of the brightest and most up-and-coming hockey teams in the league! * Don't miss your chance to join this exciting and extremely talented group of dedicated players** and excellent management***!

All you need to do is ask yourself these questions:

A) Do you enjoy having the chance to steal games away from the opponents and be considered one of the most badass goalies in the league?****

B) Are you able to stop at least 9 out of 10 shots on goal?*****


If you answered yes to these questions, you could be the next starting goalie in Colorado! Interested? Well, you should be! Don't miss this once in a lifetime offer!******

The fine print:

*Because, well, there's not a lot further you can sink after finishing 29th.
**Most of whom are so young that they can't grow even somewhat respectable playoff beard. Yes, I'm talking about you, Duchene.
***Well, sometimes. But not according to Peter Stasnty.
****Because the defense you will be behind is going to have an average of 2 years NHL experience and no experienced coach to teach them. It will, however, be decent sized, so at least you won't have to deal with what we did last year.
*****If the answer is yes, then you're already a boatload better than the goalies we had last year!
*****We'll just ignore the fact that the Avs will probably be looking for another goalie in 2 years because they have commitment issues and are treating the new CBA like the Apocalypse.

...All joking aside, Denver isn't a terrible place for a goalie to be. The Avs suck right now, but they are turning it around and should be back to form in 3-4 years. There is a lot of talent on our roster right now, and 90% of it is under the age of 27. We'll be good again sooner than some people think. And with the memories of the Obligatory Third Goal still so fresh in the fan's minds, even a mediocre goalie could find some serious love here if he posts a .900 save % or higher. Plus, the Avs need to make the cap floor somehow, and they NEED goalies. So, even if the years aren't there, the $$$$ will be. And there is a starting goalie position open - one of the few in the league. This is also an organization that has shown it's willing to take a chance on young players, but is also in need of veterans.

Basically, there's a lot of opportunity in Denver right now, and come Friday, I'll bet that at least one goalie will be given the chance to make the most out of it.

This week has been a bit crazy, so I didn't have time to research each of the goalies as much as I would have liked. However, this is at least a list of the $1 mil and above UFA goalies.

Vokoun, Tomas, FLA, Age: 34, $5,700,000, 57 GP / 22-28-5 record / 6 SO / 137 GA / 1753 SA / 0.922 SV% / 2.55 GAA / 3224 TOI

Theodore, Jose, MIN, Age: 34, $1,100,000, 32 GP / 15-11-3 record / 1 SO / 81 GA / 963 SA / 0.916 SV% / 2.71 GAA / 1793 TOI

Auld, Alex, MTL, Age: 30, $1,000,000, 16 GP / 6-2-2 record / 0 SO / 33 GA / 383 SA / 0.914 SV% / 2.64 GAA / 749 TOI

Leclaire, Pascal, OTT, Age: 28, $3,800,000, 14 GP / 4-7-1 record / 0 SO / 36 GA / 391 SA / 0.908 SV% / 2.83 GAA / 763 TOI

Harding, Josh, MIN, Age: 27, $1,200,000, 25 GP / 9-12-0 record / 1 SO / 66 GA / 692 SA / 0.905 SV% / 3.05 GAA / 1300 TOI

Garon, Mathieu, CLB, Age: 33, $1,200,000, 36 GP / 10-14-6 record / 3 SO / 88 GA / 887 SA / 0.901 SV% / 2.72 GAA / 1938 TOI

Deslauriers, Jeff, EDM, Age: 27, $1,050,000, 48 GP / 16-28-4 record / 3 SO / 152 GA / 1529 SA / 0.901 SV% / 3.26 GAA / 2798 TOI

Giguere, Jean-Sebastien, TOR, Age: 34, $6,000,000, 33 GP / 11-11-4 record / 0 SO / 78 GA / 777 SA / 0.900 SV% / 2.87 GAA / 1633 TOI

Smith, Mike, TBL, Age: 29, $2,200,000, 22 GP / 13-6-1 record / 1 SO / 58 GA / 576 SA / 0.899 SV% / 2.90 GAA / 1202 TOI

Turco, Marty, CHI, Age: 35, $1,300,000, 29 GP / 11-11-3 record / 1 SO / 82 GA / 799 SA / 0.897 SV% / 3.02 GAA / 1631 TOI

Conklin, Ty, STL, Age: 35, $1,300,000, 25 GP / 8-8-4 record / 2 SO / 69 GA / 582SA / 0.881 SV% / 3.22 GAA / 1285 TOI