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Northwest Check - "Losing is Stupid and Yes I'm Mad" Edition

M-M-M-MONSTER KILL.  (Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)
M-M-M-MONSTER KILL. (Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)
Getty Images

Calgary doesn't deserve to be a playoff team. They just don't. They have 6 fewer wins than Colorado, who is only 4 wins behind Vancouver, btw, and have left the arena with losses in 41 of their 75 games. As in, Colorado is just as many wins away from Vancouver as Calgary is losses from Edmonton and Calgary is still in the playoff race. The schedule last week couldn't have been anymore perfect for them to make a move in the playoff race as they played the three worst teams in hockey as well as a Colorado squad they had beaten 10 consecutive times. The result? They lost every game but walked away with 3 of a possible 8 points and remain in the thick of the playoff race simply because they managed to not lose in regulation. Just because you can lose every game and still have a more productive season than the Minnesota Wild doesn't mean you should be in a playoff race at any point.

Edmonton, you're clearly doing the losing thing wrong. You're already trying to steal Calgary's highly successful "building around winger(s)" model so you might as well try the "hope to make the playoffs despite losing more games than winning" model. Hell, you're already the masters of the "losing" part, you don't even have to make a huge leap to do the rest of it.

Minnesota is finally getting healthy-ish, which means they'll absolutely start winning a bunch of their games because injuries are the only reason their season was derailed and not at all because it's a roster assembled with mostly shitty hockey players who belong in Houston making annual minor league championship runs (seriously, just send them all down where they belong so my Aeros can win the Calder Cup). So we have the Wild fanbase's inevitable "WE TOLD YOU SO" after they win 7 of their last 8 games to look forward to. I'm excited.

Vancouver suddenly sucks but because they play in a division of hilariously inept teams their recent struggles have largely been ignored because everyone is too busy worrying about their own playoff races to bother hating the Canucks right now. Don't worry, Vancouver. You can have your "WOE IS US Y DO U ALL HATE US BAAAAW" membership card back in about 3 weeks when, rest assured, we will all be hating you again :)

Northwest Standings

Vancouver 74 44 21 9 97
Colorado 76 40 31 5 85
Calgary 75 34 26 15 83
Minnesota 73 31 32 10 72
Edmonton 74 29 36 9 67

(updated 3.23.2012 at 1:12 AM MDT)

Team capsules after the jump.

All standings related info taken from

Calgary Flames

Last Week: 0-1-3 1-3 L @ EDM, 1-2 OTL vs. CBJ, 1-2 OTL @ COL, 2-3 OTL @ MIN

Conference Standing: 11th Place

Overall Rankings:

  • Goals For: 2.38 (25th)
  • Goals Against: 2.64 (12th)
  • Power Play %: 17.5 (15th)
  • Penalty Kill %: 82.9 (11th)

This Week: After a super easy week on the schedule, the schedule difficulty gets significantly tougher this week when the Flames head to Dallas on Saturday and return home for the back end of the home-and-home with Dallas on Monday and then hosting streaking Los Angeles on Wednesday.

News: A funny twist of fate has a defenseman taking the spot of another.

Curtis Glencross has carved out a nice career for himself.

Goals = wins, wins = playoffs.

The equipment aces of Calgary are keeping them in the playoff race. !?

Transactions: Assigned G Leland Irving to Abbotsford and F Sven Baertschi to Portland (WHL).


  • Lee Stempniak is out with a high ankle sprain.
  • Blair Jones is on IR with a fractured ankle.
  • Mikael Backlund is on IR with an upper body injury.
  • Chris Butler is on IR with a leg injury.
  • T.J. Brodie is day-to-day with an upper body injury.
  • Michael Cammalleri is day-to-day with an upper body injury.
  • Lance Bouma is day-to-day with an upper body injury.
  • Cory Sarich is day-to-day with an upper body injury.

Colorado Avalanche

Last Week: 3-0-1 3-2 W vs. EDM, 3-2 W vs. ANA, 5-4 W @ BUF, 0-1 OTL @ NJ

Conference Standings: 9th place

Overall Rankings:

  • Goals For: 2.48 (22nd)
  • Goals Against: 2.68 (15th)
  • Power Play %: 18.5 (12th)
  • Penalty Kill %: 81.6 (19th)

This Week: Like Calgary, the Avs schedule difficulty increases quite a bit as they take on Vancouver at home Saturday and head to San Jose on Monday and then straight to Vancouver to finish the season series with the Canucks on Wednesday.

Edmonton Oilers

Last Week: 2-0-2 3-1 W vs. CGY, 2-3 OTL vs. PHX, 6-3 W @ NSH, 2-3 OTL @ TB

Conference Standings: 14th place

Overall Rankings:

  • Goals For: 2.64 (14th)
  • Goals Against: 2.94 (25th)
  • Power Play %: 21.7 (1st)
  • Penalty Kill %: 82.2 (14th)

This Week: The Oilers finish off an Eastern back-to-back Friday at Florida before heading north to Columbus Sunday and returning home versus Dallas on Wednesday.

News: An Oilers goalie whose name I hate trying to spell because of a randomly placed h or two recently received a warm reception in Tampa Bay.

The poor Oilers stellar defense is being betrayed by an unsure goaltending situation.

Poor Bruce McCurdy clearly doesn't understand the Music City Miracle so let's all laugh at his stupidity.

Time for the kids to step up, right? In late March, with the season essentially over. Nice.

Transactions: Signed G Tyler Bunz to 3-year ELC.

Injuries: F Taylor Hall out indefinitely with concussion.

Minnesota Wild

Last Week: 2-1-0: 3-5 L vs. CAR, 2-0 W vs. VAN, 3-2 W vs. CGY

Conference Standing: 13th place

Overall Rankings:

  • Goals For: 2.14 (29th)
  • Goals Against: 2.56 (10th)
  • Power Play %: 15.4 (25th)
  • Penalty Kill %: 82.3 (12th)

This Week: Amazingly, the Wild are still playing a pivotal role in the playoff races in both conferences as they become extremely important points for the East this week, starting Saturday at Buffalo and continuing Sunday at Washington before returning home to host the Rangers on Tuesday and Florida on Thursday. Every one of those teams needs to beat Minnesota this week. I'd say they have a decent chance. Because Minnesota sucks. neenerneener.

News: Despite a lost season, there's plenty of silver linings to be found for the Wild.

The Wild front office apparently expected a 40 goal season from Dany Heatley. This is why the Wild are terrible.

Matt Cullen is really frustrated. Video linx.

Transactions: Reassigned G Matt Hackett and F Nick Palmieri to Houston.

Injuries: Lazy copy/paste mode ENGAGE.

  • Guillaume Latendresse has been diagnosed with concussion symptoms and is on Injured Reserve.
  • Pierre-Marc Bouchard has concussion symptoms and is on Injured Reserve.
  • Mike Lundin has been shut down for the season after having surgery on a sports hernia.

Vancouver Canucks

Last Week: 2-1-1 4-3 W vs. CBJ, 0-2 L @ MIN, 1-2 OTL @ CHI, 2-1 W @ DAL

Conference Standing: 2nd place

Overall Rankings:

  • Goals For: 3.06 (4th)
  • Goals Against: 2.29 (5th)
  • Power Play %: 21.4 (3rd)
  • Penalty Kill %: 86.7 (5th)

This Week: The Canucks had better fucking lose twice this week to a divisional opponent because they play at Colorado on Saturday before heading home to win Monday versus Los Angeles and then hosting what had better be another fucking loss Wednesday versus Colorado. Any other results will cause a riot in my apartment.

News: lol Vancouver bad.

The title of this article is so MHH. You're welcome.


y so arrogant, Canucks?

Transactions: Signed G Joe Cannata.


  • Steve Pinizzotto is out indefinitely with a shoulder injury
  • Aaron Volpatti is out 4-6 months with a shoulder injury.
  • Andrew Ebbett is out 4-6 weeks with a collar bone injury.
  • Keith Ballard is out indefinitely with an upper body injury.