The West is the Best.

Right now, no teams in the East would make the playoffs if they and their paltry records were in the West. Not one. Recent Stanley Cup champ Boston? Nope. Sydney and his mighty Penguins. Forget it. Eight teams in the West have better records than every single team in the East. When reached for comment, the Eastern Conference pretended to get a phone call, but you could totally tell that their phone was off.

Here's some more fun with facts:

How are conference transplants doing in this world of Western supremacy? Look at Winnipeg. Those Eastern Conference cast-offs are feeding on their old friend's sad carcasses with a 4-1-1 record. The Jets likely lament their move Westward as they could be feeding on the East and avoiding the Best of the West. In fact, Winnipeg's 23 points would be "strong" enough for 3rd place in the shamefully named Metropolitan Division, and even a playoff berth in the East. In the West, they're 11th. At least they brought their Eastern lackluster performance against the West with them; they are 6-9-2 vs the West. Other transplanted teams follow suit: Detroit is 4-4-3 against the West, while Columbus is 1-3-0.

Only four Eastern squads have winning records against the West: Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, Toronto, Boston - no surprises there. But the Rangers, Senators and Sabres are a combined 4-21-2 against the West (more games against those hilarious "hockey teams" please!).

But what does this fun West is the Best trend mean? Bragging rights? Sure, but if drunkenly bellowing "SCOREBOARD, BITCHES!!" in your best Jesse Pinkman holler is all you got, in the end you'll just wind up hoarse and with [spoiler alert] your high-school science teacher [no seriously, spoiler alert] dead. So what does Western dominance mean for your Avalanche?

Well, remember how excited all us Westies were when we saw that the alignment resulted in less teams to compete for a post-season berth with? That bonus feature has all but been erased by the West's dominace of the East by creating a ludicrous speed amount of parity. With the exception of the bottom-feeding Flames and Oilers, the rest of the West is separated by a measly 10 points. 12 teams separated by 10 points. Parity! Only two Western teams have losing records - wink wink Calgary, nudge nudge Edmonton - and even the lowly Flames have a winning record against the East!

Your Avs are 8-3 against the East and 7-2 against the West, so the parity hasn't hurt the Avalanche yet, but with the East sucking like a corner whore looking for a few bucks to score another hit of that sweet sweet Baltimore low rises smack, it may come back to bite them in the end. But until then….

Scoreboard, bitches.