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Avalanche hire new assistant trainer Dr. Frankenstein

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the move is believed to be a response to the recent spate of injuries decimating all levels of the organization

Jonathan Daniel

In a completely unexpected move, the Avalanche announced this evening that they have hired Dr. Victor Frankenstein to the medical staff.

"We believe Victor will be an invaluable addition to our staff," said the team in a statement.

Dr. Frankenstein, 96, has never worked with a professional hockey organization. However, sources believe that his past experience will make him a perfect fit.

"It's about strengths and weaknesses," said a source familiar with the hire. "This team, and its farm clubs too, have a serious weakness in the area of healthy bodies for the roster. But it has a wonderful strength in its literal piles of broken body parts."

Dr. Frankenstein, who would become the first fictional character in pro sports, could not be reached for comment, but said in the team statement, "I'm positively electrified for this opportunity to help assemble the roster."