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Game 12 Preview: Avalanche at Blues, Contagion Threat Level Red

The Avalanche take on the Blues in the first half of a weekend back-to-back.

No one makes eye-contact with Hitchcock as he steadily loses the room
No one makes eye-contact with Hitchcock as he steadily loses the room
Doug Pensinger

Halloween may be over, but the Walking Dead level zombie threat to our Colorado Avalanche is not.  Just a day after the Center for Disease control inspected the Blues locker room in full hazmat gear (ok, not really), the Blues have invited the Avalanche into the surely contaminated Scottrade Center.  The CDC was unable to identify the mystery bug which has already spread from a California visitors locker room to both the St. Louis Blues and the Minnesota Wild.  It is unknown at this point if Stanley Cup wins confer immunity from the mystery bacteria, as only perennial losers have caught it so far, but just to be safe, Avs fans in attendance this evening should dress up in their best 1996 and 2001 cup winning gear, and maybe an N95 respirator mask juuuuuust to be safe.

The CDC might not have figured this thing out yet, but we have, so here's a look at what germs Scottrade Center might be contaminated with tonight:

  • Epiglottitis - A bacterial infection which causes the epiglottis to swell.  This infection can cause choking, which would explain the Blues' performance in the playoffs.
  • Naegleria - The Naegleri Fowleri, or "very scary little amoeba" (note: not actual Latin) is a microscopic parasite that lives in warm water and can swim into the human brain through the nose.  Once infecting a host, this amoeba eats your brain.  Do David Backes and T.J. Oshie really have concussions? Maybe.... or maybe they have brain amoeba's.  Either way this one goes a long way toward's explaining Steve Ott's brainless career
  • Trimethylaminuria - This very rare metabolic disorder might not be contagious, but it is "spooky-weird" enough for us to include just one day after Halloween.  This disorder causes a defect in the normal production of the enzyme flavin containing monooxygenase 3 (FMO3).  That's science speak for: it makes you smell like rotting fish.  As far as it relates to the Blues, well, Maxime Lapierre stinks, and this diagnosis might explain why he's so angry all the time.
  • Benedectopia-Stastnitis - Commonly known as "traitor's karma," this extremely rare bacteria is unique in that it possesses a sense of karmic justice.  Symptoms vary widely, but the bacteria has been known to cause tissue damage to major muscle groups, including the shoulder.
  • Ebola - Because I heard that's going around.

Scary stuff for our hometown Avalanche, but fear not, because here are few simple rules of engagement which will keep our boy's healthy:

1. No high-sticking and no fighting: We really dont want to risk blood on the ice tonight do we?

2. No biting, being bit, or otherwise sticking fingers in mouths: I'm looking at you Lapierre.

3. No Checking: It's best to limit physical contact tonight as much as possible, so the Avalanche should not seek to body check their opposition at any point tonight.  The best way to prevent checking is to possess the puck all game and move it around a lot.

4. No Overtime: In order to limit their time of exposure, the Avs need to win this game in regulation.

5. Visors Mandatory, Also Surgical Masks: Look, if Paul Henderson did it, then so can you.


Ryan O`Reilly - Matt Duchene - Gabriel Landeskog

Jamie McGinn - Nathan MacKinnon - Jarome Iginla

Alex Tanguay - John Mitchell - Dennis Everberg

Cody McLeod - Marc Andre Cliche - Maxime Talbot

Jan Hejda - Erik Johnson

Brad Stuart - Tyson Barrie

Nick Holden - Nate Guenin

Semyon Varlamov

Reto Berra

Scratched: #FreeRedmond and Daniel Briere

Injured: Ryan Wilson, Jesse Winchester, Patrick Bordeleau

Game Notes: (and/or Indisputable Facts)

- This is the first of 5 meetings between the Avalanche (3-4-4) and the Blues (5-3-1)

- Both teams are coming off of Thursday night shutouts, the Avalanche 5-0 over the Islanders, and the Blues 2-0 over the Ducks.

- The Avalanche were 1-3 against the Blues last season, but dominated St. Louis 4-0 in their final meeting of the year.

- Jarome Iginla needs 2 goals to catch Mats Sundin and Joe Nieuwendyk for 21st in all-time goal scoring.

- David Backes is a punk who tries to pick on children.

- The Blues are a bunch of thugs

- Maxime Lapierre, Steve Ott, and Ryan Reaves went trick-or-treating last night.  They don't visit houses though, they just steal the candy from children.

Hot Take:

David Backes is questionable for tonight's game, if he misses it's because he's afraid of Nathan MacKinnon.

Puck Drops at 8:00 PM EST, 6:00 PM MST on Altitude 2