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Game 34 Recap: Avs put Christmas beatdown on Blues and win 5 to 0.

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Avs put an absolute Christmas beatdown on the Blue to win 5-0.

AVS CAN HAZ KRISMISS GOALZ!!!
AVS CAN HAZ KRISMISS GOALZ!!!
Chris Humphreys-USA TODAY Sports

Game 34 Recap:  Christmas Edition

Merry Christmas* all you Mile High Hockey faithful. Joy to the hockey world, but boos to the Blues.** BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

*Merry Christmas Eve Eve (whatever fuckers)

** I don’t give a fuck, it’s Christmas time.

So, I have been charged with this Christmas recap and I figured there would be no better way to do it – because ‘tis the season and all that – than to make it Christmas themed. So, please climb aboard my one horse open sleigh and sing a long with me.

‘Twas the last game before Christmas and all through the Pepsi Center not a creature was stirring, except 60 NHL players and a whole bunch of fans.

1st Period:

On the first day of the Christmas Recap, my true love gave to me… a good start by the Avs that ended in a beautiful steal by Tanguay the neutral zone. He takes it in and then and then and then HE EVEN SHOT MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS. 

On the second day of the Christmas Recap, my true love gave to me… a beautiful rush by Redmond, O’Reilly fed Landeksog at the near blueline and he skated around the defenseman, cut in, and just, just put it wide. [EDITOR’S NOTE: Wow what a rush.]

TIME FOR A BAD CHORUS: Power play, after a handful of turnover, Iginla was robbed in front. After a long-range bomb from the point, Shattenkrik swatted at the rebound and hit Iginla right in the face. 5 on 3 came and just like that it was over.  No real chances.  Briere hits the post but the Avs couldn’t seem to get dangerous.

On the third day of the Christmas Recap, my true love gave to me… at the 5 minute mark, after a long, long shift by the Avs 4th line that saw Barrie eventually ice it.  The Avs cleared and MacKinnon’s line came out.  After a dumb in by Talbot, MacKinnon beautifully forecheck-ed and stole the puck down low.  MacKinnon managed to pass to Duchene who spun, fed Johnson in the high slot, and Johnson rifled a wrist shot by Allen to make it 1-0.

On the fourth day of the Christmas Recap, my true love gave to me… the Avs had their third power play of the game. After the Duchene unit couldn’t score, the Landeskog unit came out. Some nice movement up high ensued and the Avs managed to break down the Blues’ zone, then feed O’Reilly down low who found Redmond through the slot and Redmond tick-tacked-it home.  2-0 Avs.

2nd Period:

On the fifth day of the Christmas Recap, my true love gave to me… after a nice breakout by Duchene, MacKinnon flew up the near side and he streaked in on a 2 on1. He fed Talbot who got a body on it, but it went just wide.

TANGENT: The Blues started to run a 2 man forecheck to create pressure.

TIME FOR A BAD CHORUS: Duchene then stole the puck in center and fed Talbot and MacKinnon on a 2 on 1.  Talbot had his passing lane “blocked” and didn’t feed MacKinnon.  Allen was there. BOOOOO

On the sixth day of the Christmas Recap, my true love gave to me… After two beautiful shifts that forced St. Louis in their own zone, the Mitchell line came out and further forced the Blues to start making turn overs.  After some beautiful Johnson moves, Iginla eventually found the puck in the near corner and quickly fired a wrist shot at the net.  The puck hit off of Allen and into the back of the net.  3 -0 Avs.

TIME FOR A BAD CHORUS: Tanguay tried to clear in front of Varly and almost scored on him. BOOOOOOOOOO

On the seventh day of the Christmas Recap, my true love gave to me… after some back and forth and some nice chances, the Avs got a power play.  Landeskog’s unit came out and after a nice entry and some ice movement by the Avs,  O’Reilly found himself in the near low corner and O’Reilly faked a cross ice pass, that Allen bit on (as Forslund pointed out), and O’Reilly roofed on Allen. 4-0 Avs.

On the eighth day of the Christmas Recap, my true love gave to me… the next shift saw Mitchell’s line come out and after a dump in by the Blues, the Avs broke it out.  Mitchell skated it into the zone and managed to move the defenseman back.  He dropped it to Iginla who rifled a slap shot by Allen.  Allen had no chance.  5-0 Avs. 

3rd Period:

On the ninth day of the Christmas Recap, my true love gave to me… shit happened, Blues did nothing.  There was a nice save by Varly with 15 left.

On the tenth day of the Christmas Recap, my true love gave to me… Blues were pressing or something but really the Avs shut it down.

TANGENT or something: WOOOOOOOOOO Getting cold cuts, getting cold cuts, getting cold cuts.

CHRISTMAS IRONY ALERT: Broduer came in an and the puck was dumped in  his “gorgeous stickhandling form from 2001” almost saw McLeod steal the puck and score.

On the eleventh day of the Christmas Recap, my true love gave to me… the Blues hit the post at the 9:20 mark. Crowd chants Varly but it was the post.  Post! Post! Post! Post! Post! [Editor’s note: Varly did get something on it]

On the twelfth day of the Christmas Recap, my true love gave to me… saw Varly absolutely rob Stastny from the slot and after that preserved the shutout!!!!

Three Christmas Whores:

3rd Whore: Varly. Though he had an easy night because the Avs played a spectacular defensive game, he was there when he needed to be, especially in the 3rd, to earn a shut out.

2nd Whore: Johnson. He looked absolutely dominant all night long.  Even after the NBCSN guys spoke highly of him.

1st Whore: MacKinnon. Though he only had an assist, he was the dominant player on the ice.  He made a mess of the Blues’ zone and looked dangerous every time.

To quote Dickens (with edits), “[h]e had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle ever afterwards [BOOOOOOOOOO]; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas [recaps] well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge [I do]. May that be truly said of us [read. Avs fans], and all of us [fuck you blues fans]! And so, as Tiny Tim [Vander Tuuk] observed, God bless Us, Every One!

Next Up: Chicago on the 27th. Pickard to start.