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Olympic Hockey GDT: Women's Medal Round

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It's the US and Canada for gold oh baby

Richard Mackson-USA TODAY Sports

I would like to suggest before we begin that any American Patriot who purchases, consumes, or in any way supports Maple Syrup in the next two days had better make damn sure they're indulging in a fine product of the even finer state of Vermont, USA and not a product of Canada. Any who do otherwise shall be forceably deported to the tree in Edmonton as a Canadian agent, as of course is tradition.

(US Eastern)

Bronze Medal Game: Sweden v. Switzerland

7:00 am, NBC Sports, TSN
TAPE DELAY: 3:00 pm, NBC Sports; 7:30 pm, TSN

Switzerland have never won a medal, so that would be pretty cool. Sweden won Bronze in 2002 and Silver in 2006. The two did not meet at any point in the tournament thus far. But anyway,

Gold Medal Game: USA v. Canada

12:00 noon, NBC, CBC
TAPE DELAY: 5:00 pm. NBC Sports; 7:30 pm, TSN

Yeah these two may have played each other before.

Meghan Agosta scored twice for Canada and it took USA nearly 17 minutes to get a shot in the third period as they lulled their Canadian sisters into a false sense of security before today's inevitable showdown that actually matters. The US had won a few in a row before that, and the Canadians, of course, have won three straight gold medals. Basically what I'm getting at here is if you don't have a valid excuse to do otherwise, sit yourself down in front of your TV or computer or tablet or whatever the fuck and send thoughts of freedom and proper bacon and low-point pisswater beer to Sochi and will our women to victory!

oh and while we're on the subject, as an aside, I love bringing up Phil as much as the next American patriot. But can we quit referring to Amanda Kessel as Phil's sister (or Phil as Amanda's brother ironically) and acknowledge her pedigree as a hockey player by her own merit? It's just that it's a very 1993 attitude, and the last time I checked that was a few days ago. Thanks all.