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Avs Lose Wild Game to Minnesota, 3-1.

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Avs play their hearts out but can't solve the Wild riddle in a chaotic, penalty-ridden game.

Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports

Period 1

0:00-5:00

Good energy to start the game here as teams trade possession early. O'Reilly's line gets a decent scoring chance Dubnyk shuts it down. Not a lot else going on except me drinking and chatting with Cheryl about how to spend our tax refunds. Lots of Minnesota possession now. Duchene just got crosschecked in the back by Parise after Dutchy was giving him the business in front of the net. Brad Stuart loses the puck and Varly covers the puck (insert shocked face).

5:01-10:00

Avs PP upcoming here. Nothing of note happens. More shocked faces. Nathan MacKinnon taking passes from Marc-Andre Cliche is just depressing. He's certainly driving possession, at least, getting a shot on goal as a result of him doing what he does. 8 minutes in and the Wild have zero shots on goal. How's it feel, fuckers? Hejda getting into a scrum with Charlie Coyle after Coyle piles on top of Varly. "Everybody back to the man pile!" These teams really don't like each other. Fun. Holden brings the puck in offsides. The Offsides Experts in Minnesota rejoice. McNab is falling all over himself to talk about how hot Minnesota is. Bro, it's the frozen tundra over there. Guenin hitting everything and Haynes is all about it. Nice.

10:01-15:00

Very special presentation time! Shots are now 5-4 Avalanche. The presentation was presenting a veteran with a mortgage-free, custom-built home. So cool. Well played by everyone involved. Erik Haula scores on the softest goal not involving Brad Stuart and Corey Crawford as Varly's lackluster play of late continues. Haula from Fontaine and Brodziak. 1-0 Wild. Duchene is absolutely outworking everyone. MacKinnon makes a big hit to make a play. He's flying right now. Cheryl is relaying a story about how she broke her can opener trying to open a can tonight and used an ice pick to open it lmao.

15:01-20:00

Minnesota with 8 of the last 9 shots on goal. Great. My entire section randomly deleted but O'Reilly just missed on a mini-breakaway.1:41 remaining in the period. Landy with a nice shot on goal. MacKinnon is back on the line he belongs with. Good, Roy. Mike Haynes with the quote of the season so far: "This is where the Avs shine, when they keep possession". So...like 42% of the time? Jokes aside, 1st period ends. Shots tied 8-8. Wild lead 1-0.

Period 2

0:00-5:00

PUCK IS DOWN. Woooooo. 10 periods have passed with no Avs goals against Minnesota. In a few short minutes, the Wild will pass Detroit for longest shutout streak versus one opponent in a single season. WHOOOOAAAA DUBNYK MISHANDLED THAT PUCK INTO HIS OWN NET. McLeod crashed the net. UHHHH. ITS UNDER REVIEW. THATS A GOAL, GUYS. LMFAO 1-1. Talbot gets the goal hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Holden with the assist. SO MUCH FOR THAT SHUTOUT STREAK. Minnesota tilting the ice a bit here in response to the own goal. Bergenheim gets a penalty for...something. It's called Hooking but I'm pretty sure that's a terrible call. Avs PP now. Barrie is playing with a ton of confidence right now but the PP can't get setup. Minny kills the penalty but Avs managed 3 shots on that PP, though none particularly dangerous.

5:01-10:00

Shots on goal are 13-11 in favor of the Avs right now but Minnesota is pressing. MacKinnon back on the 4th line and immediately creates a shot on goal because he's Nathan Fucking MacKinnon and that's what he does, yo. Brad Stuart sighting as he blatantly boards...somebody. Altitude won't show me a replay. Thanks for nothing, guys. Minnesota goes to their first PP of the night. Everberg and O'Reilly are a forecheck nightmare and the Avs spend half of Minnesota's PP with the puck haha. Haynes is freaking out. He might be drunker than I am. Minnesota PP over and the Wild score immediately. Lol. Hockey is the cruelest sport. Justin Fontaine from Brodin and Haula, who continues to be an Avs killer. Terrible transition defense from the Avs and it's 2-1 Wild. Matt Duchene has been unreal tonight.

10:01-15:00

MacKinnon draws a trip from Koivu and figures he already committed one penalty so why not try to run MacKinnon while he's at it? Scrum number 234892432 takes place tonight. MacKinnon ROCKS Brodziak along the boards and gets an Interference penalty. Landy and Prosser get into another scrum. 4-on-4 hockey for a little over a minute now and then MN will go on their second PP of the game. Minnesota might be the masters of the offsides but their collective inability to count costs them as they get a Too Many Men On The Ice penalty. Close call but fuck you Minnesota. Avs get a 4-on-3 PP for 43 seconds and the Avs don't score. Koivu gets a breakaway coming out of the box and doesn't even get a shot on goal. Minnesota committing legitimate penalties all over the ice now as Fontaine gets a tripping call and Dubnyk gets away with throwing a stick. Avs are now 4-on-3 for another 28 seconds. This is nuts. Avs get a 5-on-3 and miss shots all over the ice. This is a gongshow. Teams are back at even strength.

15:01-20:00

Avs post-PP flurry results in a few more shots, some on goal, some not but nothing goes in. Peter McNab insisting this is a great hockey game as he continues to be completely tone deaf and out of touch with the fan base of the team he covers. MacKinnon returns to O'Reilly's line late in the period. Minnesota icing the puck repeatedly but the Avs aren't capitalizing aaaaand Redmond takes a hooking penalty. Good call, lazy penalty. Minnesota to the PP now. Avs kill the penalty with no shots on goal against yet again. Second period ends with the Wild leading 2-1. Chaotic period of hockey.

Period 3

0:00-5:00

PUCK DROP. LET'S FUCKING DO THIS, AVALANCHE. WOOOOOO. Shots on goal 19-18 in favor of Minnesota at the start of this period. Matt Duchene needs some help. His one man band isn't quite enough against a defense this good. Everberg now on O'Reilly's right wing lol. The juggle continues. Everberg totally looks like Orlando Bloom in Pirates of the Caribbean. Minnesota has tilted the ice to start this period despite MacKinnon and Duchene's best efforts. BARRIE LOWERS THE BOOM ON NATE PROSSER WHAT WORLD AM I LIVING IN?? Prosser and Guenin get into a fight after Prosser's fake injury ends in favor of fighting someone. Sweet?

5:01-10:00

Pominville scores and for some reason the hockey gods continue to hate the Avalanche. Only guy who didn't seem to bring his A++ game tonight is Semyon Varlamov. Too bad the Avs don't have a backup to play in these games. Great shot by Pominville, assist to Mikael Granlund. 3-1 Wild. Penalty on the Avs as Barrie takes a bullshit penalty as the wheels start to come off a bit here. Bergenheim just went real, real high on MacKinnon and Mac is hurt. No call.

10:01-15:00

MacKinnon just got elbowed in the face and is bleeding all over the ice. Heads straight to the locker room. No call because these refs are completely overwhelmed by this game. Avs do get a call in their favor...somewhere but I missed it completely. Avs on the PP. Avs PP continues to be more flaccid than a stale banana. Barrie taking all kinds of chances pinching and Iggy does a great job getting back to help mitigate a Wild 2-on-1. Avs running out of time real quick now. (PS on second look, MacKinnon looks to have received a shoulder to the face, not an elbow. I retract my officiating complaints, sort of).

15:01-20:00

Avs pull the goalie with 4 minutes to go. Great strip of the puck on Fontaine keeps him from scoring another goal. Prosser to the box for high sticking. Clown continues his fucking act. Avs 6-on-4 produces so many close calls but zero results. Dubnyk's chicken sacrifices continue to work as he gets lucky break after lucky break. Avs unable to make anything happen and a random Brodziak empty-netter is negated by a high stick. Another fuckhole of a game but at least the Avs were awesome in this one. McLeod fight with Coyle with 3 seconds to play. Completely unnecessary and classes by McLeod imo.

HIGHLIGHTS

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3 Stars of the Game:

1. Justin Fontaine

2. Devan Dubnyk

3. Erik Haula (apparently Russo chose the 3 stars lolol)

MHH 3 Stars of the Game:

1. Matt Duchene - guy played a fucking whale of a game.

2. Tyson Barrie - Absolute animal tonight. Playing with as much confidence as we've ever seen him.

3. Nate Prosser - TIL Prosser has Googled "David Backes fake tough" before because he mastered it. That was a fucking performance if I've ever seen one.

No lines tonight because they were complete and utter chaos throughout.