Avs Drop 5th Straight Game; Officially the Worst Team in Hockey

If the Avs aren't going to put any effort into the season, I'm not going to put much effort into this recap.

1st Period: The Stars scored the one goal of the first period via Curtis McKenzie from Devin Shore.

Edgar Allen Poe Quote to Describe the 1st Period: "I have made no money. I am as poor now as I ever was in my life. Except in hope which is by no means bankable.

2nd Period: Tyler Seguin scored on the power play with the assistance of Jamie Benn and Patrick Eaves.

Edgar Allen Poe Quote to Describe the 2nd Period: "I became insane, with long periods of horrible sanity."

3rd Period: An empty netter for Dallas from Patrick Eaves put the game away and got Dallas the 3-0 win. Erik Johnson got his ankle injured. Another season of EJ being hurt midway through? Looks like it, folks!

Edgar Allen Poe Quote to Describe the 3rd Period: "Deep in earth my love is lying. And I must weep alone."

Mister Fish's Three Sardines: No one. And that's not me being cynical. No one stood out.

Mister Fish's Three Flounders: Everyone. Whether it's taking penalties, allowing Dallas to score three goals to the Avs' zero, and somehow letting freaking Karri Lehtonen shut you out at home. Just tank the rest of the season. Please. Go try to get the number one pick. Start over. I can't deal with this crap for four more months unless I know something's going to change.

Lasting Edgar Allen Poe Quote: "The Avalanche suck."