When I was on spring break back in March, I was bored at home and the Avalanche were in the midst of a four day break between games. So I was lying in my bed, contemplating life, and while contemplating life, I heard the distant echo of SportsCenter from my TV talking about the start of March Madness. Then, a lightbulb popped above my head. I love me some bracket-filling-out, and I love the Avalanche. Why not combine the two?
After some brainstorming, I invented Ava-March Madness, a series of match ups fans could vote between and eventually determine what the Mile High Hockey community feels the most emotion towards. Most of that emotion I thought should be positive and loving! But I also realized we are a bunch of angry adults that use the internet far too often and hate anything that irritates us in the slightest. So I decided to make it a mission in this bracket to see which current and former player everyone loves most, what the community loves most that does not involve hockey, and what player or group that has displeased Avalanche fans so much is the one most spite is felt towards. The mission, I believe, was accomplished!
What Avalanche legend is loved the most? It's Joe Sakic! Sakic beat Peter Forsberg in the championship match by a score of 0% to 40%. Sakic was predictably going to end up in the championship match. It was just a matter of who he would face, and that was almost positively either going to be Foppa or Patrick Roy. Forsberg topped Roy in the semifinal, and while Peter the Great is adored by many and arguably more talented than Sakic, the captain got the crown.
Which current Avalanche player is loved the most? It's Matt Duchene! I'm told by women that Duchene and Captain Landeskog are the two sexiest Avalanche members, and that's who it came down to in this final. Duchene beat Landy surprisingly easy winning 74% of the vote while Landeskog mustered only 26%.
Who/What do Avalanche fans hate most? It's a dead tie between the Minnesota Wild and Todd Bertuzzi. 490 votes were submitted in this match, and each got 245 of the votes. The Wild were determined to be the most hated team when they knocked off the Detroit Red Wings, getting 79% of the votes. Bertuzzi was then elected most hated player when he beat Matt Cooke capturing 69% of those votes. I do hope that everyone who voted the Wild was born after 2004, because even though Minnesota sucks and I hope their franchise folds, Bertuzzi is a dick who deserves to burn in the deepest depths of Hell after what he did to Steve Moore.
What do Avalanche fans love most that's got nothing to do with hockey? SEX! Mile High Hockey readers and enjoyers love SEX! And who can blame them? Sex plowed its way (pun intended) through the bracket and was ultimately able to knock off pizza in the championship vote, by a score of 66% to 34%.
What do Avalanche fans love MORE THAN ANYTHING?!?! Credit must first be given to our beloved member, CincyAvsFan, who called this championship match when the competition was first announced.
For your genius, we at MHH are rewarding you with... RESPECT! Which is very hard to come by in this community. Take your respect from me and the writing staff and don't ever take it for granted, or else your life will be shrouded by darkness and despair. As for the match itself, it was one for the ages, and the captain, the legend, JOE FREAKING SAKIC out-dueled sexual intercourse snatching 56% of the vote. Congratulations to Joe Sakic on yet another amazing career accomplishment, and what is undoubtedly the most valuable one he's earned to date.
I must say I was surprised Sakic was able to beat out sexual coitus, but I suppose it is well-deserved. He has done more for the Avalanche franchise than anyone and will always be a beloved, worshipped man in the city of Denver. I feel very fortunate to say I got to meet him two years ago, shake his hand, get a picture with him (proof below), and shoot the breeze for a few minutes with him about hockey, golf, and my life. I was nervous as I've ever been to meet my boyhood idol, but he was incredibly nice and thoughtful towards me. He acted like we'd been friends for years, and I'll never be able to thank him enough for taking the time to be such a gentleman. It remains the highlight of my life to this point since I'm yet to get a hole-in-one, marry, or have a child.
Congrats on winning Ava-March Madness, Super Joe!