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Maybe there really is a conspiracy against the Colorado Avalanche

We’re through the looking glass, people

NHL: Tampa Bay Lightning at Colorado Avalanche Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

Bias is something that is ingrained in sports fandom.

Whether you believe so or not, you’re always going to have a bias either for or against a team. Journalists try to avoid it, but it’s against human nature to have a true sense of neutrality when dealing with sports.

What happens, though, when bias goes too far?

That’s a question many fans of the Colorado Avalanche are asking about the NHL right now. There is a legitimate concern in the fan base that the league is actively biased against the Avs. That the league has a vested interest in seeing the Avalanche fail.

The latest ammunition is the two-game suspension levied against Erik Johnson for his hit on Vladislav Namestnikov. Coming on the heels of the four-game suspension handed to Gabriel Landeskog last month, many feel these suspensions were unwarranted and show that the NHL - and in particular the Department of Player Saftey - treats the Avs differently than the rest of the league.

The total number of games lost to suspension in the NHL so far this season is 37. Of those, 6 belong to Avalanche players. The problem some see is that while most suspensions have been handed out to known shit-weasels like Radko Gudas, Tom Wilson, and Matthew Tkachuk, the Avs are losing their top guys.

Why do Landeskog and Johnson get suspended, while the league looks the other way on hits from guys like Jonathan Huberdeau?

The word ‘conspiracy’ is even being thrown around by some. And you know what, maybe those people are on to something.

We all know that Fox Mulder is a big-time basketball fan - but I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a soft spot for the Colorado Avalanche.

The JFK assassination

The moon landing


The Colorado Avalanche

Paul McCartney is dead

They all tie together.

The Illuminati is real people. Jay-Z has been trying to tell us as much in his lyrics for a couple decades now. Is there any doubt that Lou Lamoriello, Jeremy Jacobs, Gary Bettman and Sidney Crosby are members of the society-dominating organization?

And why wouldn’t they pick the Avalanche as the organization they want to torment? It only makes sense that hockey fans in Denver are the ones the league wants to make suffer, right?

How deep does this conspiracy go?

Was Patrick Roy a plant by the league to tear down the franchise through a series of terrible drafts and bad player personnel decisions?

Was Peter Forsberg really healthy the whole time and just being paid to skip out on games?

I mean, recent Hall of Fame inductees Teemu Selanne and Paul Kariya were absolutely amazing for every team they ever played for...except for Colorado. This is not a coincidence.

So we’re all in agreement that the Rand Corporation, in conjuncture with Gary Bettman and the saucer people - under the supervision of the Toronto Maple Leafs - are engaged in a fiendish plot to eliminate the Colorado Avalanche from relevance in the NHL.

There’s the blown offside call against St. Louis, the suspension of their captain for four games, the fact that team has been horrendous for a season and a half now. The evidence is there. This Erik Johnson suspension is just another thing to add to the list. I’m sure the league will give us much more as the season progresses.

Just remember, the truth is out there.