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Avalanche a no-show in the desert, fall to the Coyotes 1-0

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“Offense? We don’t need no stinking offense!”

NHL: Arizona Coyotes at Colorado Avalanche Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

Calvin Pickard made 34-of-35 saves in a valiant, but ultimately fruitless, effort as the Colorado Avalanche lost to the also-dismal Arizona Coyotes 1-0 during a late-night start in the desert.

The first period between these two NHL juggernauts was likely even more deficient for entertaining hockey than one might expect. Beyond two heartbreaking J.T. Compher shots off the post, not much happened—not even during a four-minute double minor gifted to Colorado from Anthony DeAngelo. How bad was it? The two teams combined for just nine shots on goal and just fifteen shot attempts—total—while playing five-on-five hockey.

One team would wake up during the second period, but it wouldn’t be the Avalanche. A few minutes into the period, Sven Andrighetto put some excellent forecheck pressure on Luke Schenn in the Arizona zone, stealing the puck cleanly and carrying to back to the blue line. In the process, he would into a bit of traffic—including his own teammate, Francois Beauchemin—and cough up the puck himself. Peter Holland pushed the puck through the neutral zone and made a nice cross-ice pass to rookie Brendan Perlini, who lined up his shot and fired a dart past Calvin Pickard for his 13th tally on the year.

For the next 36 minutes, not much would go right for the hockey players in Burgundy & Blue jerseys. Unless you’re a fan of great goaltending or really spectacular goaltending, there wasn’t exactly much to cheer for. The Avalanche would manage just 14 five-on-five shots-on-goal tonight, either missing the net or getting their shot blocked at even strength 24-of-38 times. Maybe the team was instructed to lose to their next closest competitor in the draft lottery standings, or maybe they’re really just this awful. Either way, I can’t believe people are taking time out of their day to watch them play.