An offer sheet isn’t the only way to screw over the Senators. Two of their best players are slated to be UFAs after the year, and one of them really likes Colorado. Matt Duchene, if you’re listening, come on home and bring Mark Stone with you! Not only that, it would be helpful if you guys didn’t play all that well for the rest of the year so your contracts are cheaper and your current team has the best possible odds at the #1 overall pick. Are you cool with all that? Sure you say? Great! Here is what you have to look forward to.

2019/2020

Extensions: Rantanen is priority #1 here. The guy is becoming a monster and is an absolute cornerstone for the team going forward. 8 years at $7.5 million AAV currently looks like a bargain, but I’m assuming it gets the job done.

Zadorov is another huge priority in my opinion. The fact that he is playing on the third pairing so far this year may be beneficial for the team when they attempt to sign him. Does 5 years at $3.85 million AAV work? I’m not sure, but this is the F#%k You Ottawa, Ravage the Sens, Multiple Cups, No Freaking Way Can We Afford This Unless Kyle Dubas Style Math Actually Works Edition so I’m gonna say yes!

Varlamov presents an additional issue. What do you do here? Adise from one bad period where he was absolutely hung out to dry by his team, the guy has been unreal. However, there is also his injury history and a potential tandem of the future in Grubauer and Francouz. Originally, I was in favor of moving on from Varly, but he is making it tough to do so. Is he willing to take a pay cut to stay? In this edition, of course he is! Three years at $5 million AAV gets it done.

Kerfoot and Kamenev will also need extensions, but I don’t think this should be too difficult. The thing to remember is that a huge raise will be due to a certain draft pick in 2022, so it makes sense to build in some flexibility around that time. As such, both get 3 years.

Free Agents: Our friend Dutchy is happy to oblige and brings his skill, along with Stone’s, to the Mile High City. I’m assuming both get $7.5 million AAV here (Duchene for 5 years and Stone for 7 years), but I’d be happy to negotiate downwards. F#%k you Ottawa!

Trades: Edmonton’s front office is dumb, and this makes them an ideal dance partner. They get a good one in this instance with Barrie (Compher and Mook Barberino included as well), but they need to send back Kelfbom and a first rounder in return. Klefbom’s contract is very attractive, and adding him to the mix gives the Avs arguably the best and deepest back end in hockey. Colorado can afford to make this move, and it sets them up for both the short and long term. Barrie has a lot of fun and puts up a shitload of points with McDavid, so good vibes all around!

Draft: Avs pick #1 overall and somewhere in the 20s. Jack Hughes (f#%k you Ottawa) and Nolan Foote, welcome to Colorado!

Prospects: Kaut, Makar, and Timmins make the jump, and (unless Sakic can unload him), old lump of Cole gets paid $4.25 million for eating hot dogs. Here is where that brings us.

2020/2021

The heavy lifting in the trade/FA/draft is done. The Avs are coming off of their first Cup victory in quite some time, and things are looking good. However, there is some work to do with respect to Girard, Jost, the expansion draft, and the bottom six.

Extensions: Starting with Girard, I would hope they already have him locked up at this point. Both sides know this kid isn’t going anywhere, and Sakic gets out in front of things offering 7 years at $5.5 million AAV. Jost proves to be better than his slow start but only earns a bridge deal at this time (3 years at $2.8 million AAV).

Expansion Draft: The acquisition of Klefbom makes things tricky. Girard, Johnson, Zadorov, and Klefbom will all need protection, and only three of them can be covered. I’m assuming Klefbom is left exposed, but a deal that allows Seattle to take Kerfoot and a prospect/pick is reached so that the defense remains intact.

Prospects: Soderberg and Nieto are allowed to go elsewhere and are replaced by Foote and Greer. Bowers slides into the spot vacated by Kerfoot, and the Avs keep on rolling.

2021/2022

Coming off back-to-back Cup victories, there is actually very little to do this offseason.

Extensions: Landeskog gets 6 more years at $7 million AAV (thanks Captain!), and Timmins gets 5 years at $2.75 million AAV.

Cole and Calvert are now gone, but they have long been displaced by the youth movement anyway. Cap space starts to grow as a result of time and Cole being gone, but every bit of that (and more) will be needed soon.

2022/2023

Three in a row and already having entered dynasty status, the Avs look to keep it going by extending two of the brightest young stars in the game.

Extensions: Hughes gets 8 years at $9.5 million AAV (shut up and let me dream), while Makar gets 6 years at $6 million AAV. Bowers, Kaut, Kamenev, Greer, and Grubauer will also need extensions, but only the net minder commands a big contract ($5.25 million AAV for 5 years).

2023/2024

Unheard of in the modern era, it’s now four Cups in a row.

Extensions: MacKinnon finally gets his raise and settles for $10 million AAV for 8 more years. Jost gets a bump to $4 million AAV for 4 more years, and Foote gets a bridge deal.

Losses: The team can no longer afford EJ though and must turn to youth. With a solid top 4 remaining, and hopefully a good prospect pool to go along with it, the drive for five begins!

This is probably Duchene’s last season, as cap space is drying up quickly. It’s been a great story though, and winning 5 Cups in a row isn’t half bad. Zadorov will be signed, and the top four will remain for a few more years. Someone should be able to step in for Duchene and not miss much with the other talent on that line, so the Avs are still strong. F#%k you Ottawa, and thanks!